The Guitar Strings n.horan {au} (CANCELLED AS FUCKKK)

Chapter 08

Chapter 08....

I know I shouldn't be crying.

I know I shouldn't be feeling this kind of pain.

I know it has been four years since it happen.

But My mother was always apart of me.

I can never be strong without her.

I loss faith of opening up to people.

I loss faith in myself.

Maybe Everyone was right... I can't keep her around my neck forever.

I been in my bed since my Aunt pick up me from school. I felt a big lump in my throat, as I try to hold back from more tears to come streaming down my flush cheeks.

I pull my sweater sleeves, covering my hands inside them, wiping the tears. I may or Maybe not have blew my nose in the long sleeve part of my forearm- but u don't really care.

I heard my door creak open. I turned around to see My Aunt standing at the door with worry eyes.

"Baby doll?"

I didn't answer, I pulled my face in the pillow some more.

I heard her footsteps creeping up on me. She started stroking my back as she sat down.

"Lucy, you were gonna have to get rid of it sooner or later" She adds.

"But it didn't have to be today. And now Niall knows and all he is gonna do is pity me" I stated.

"You should've told Niall"

"Can you just go please?" I point straight to the door without looking at her. I knew she got up cause the another weight on the bed seem to disappear.

I touched my neck, trying to imagine it still where it should be placed. But I can't seem to feel it anymore.

I get out of the bed, walking to my door but stopped when I heard voices.

"Where'd did she go Ms.Thomas?" A familiar voice asked her.

"She is upstairs" She inform him.

I heard running footsteps retrieving upstairs. I quickly plop on my bed, pulling the covers over me.

"Lucy?" He called, opening the wooden door." I can see you under there"

I didn't answer once again.

I was thinking that he left but once I felt a hand on my shoulder I knew he was still here.

"Please talk to me Lucy" He pleaded.

"Why?" I inquire.

"Because I know your hurting" he tells me,he sits on the bed titling his head back on the wall, taking the covers off of me, pulling up so he can see my face.

"Lucy it's gonna be okay" he reassures me.

I felt his arm go around me, making my head rest on his shoulder. Making me feel slightly uncomfortable,and vulnerable.

I didn't realize I was still crying until Niall wipe my face with his thumb.

"I just don't know what to do without her by my side" I confess.

"She is always with you Lucy" He guides my small hand, towards my left side of my chest."always"

"It's not the same. I can't be myself" I sighed.

"You were never yourself"

"And what do you think being 'myself' is?"

"Only you can answer that"