What is love

Tears

Chapter 1: Tears

"You ask me why I cry

And I can't give you an answer

Because I too wonder that"

The night air is neither warm nor cold, seemingly perfect for tonight- the night. I will finally talk to him, the one that stole my heart when the world was grey. Sounds so cliche, so fairytale like, but this is no make-believe. Honestly, I had been waiting outside the school's entrance for at most two hours- I wanted to make sure I didn't miss him today. I peeked my head around the wall and that's when I saw him.

His head was turned to the side and he was talking to a friend. As he got closer it got harder to breathe, and I turned away from the wall, just as they stepped outside the gates. I could hear them saying goodbyes, and as his 'friend' passed me I made sure to hide my face. After a few moments I turned around looking in the opposite direction- Aki was far but I could still make out his figure. With one last pep talk to myself, I pushed off the wall, and started walking.

As I strolled behind him, I could see he was wearing his tennis uniform. He looked even more beautiful today. Maybe it was a sign that what I was about to do was alright... His skin was glowing with beads of sweat, old and new, sticky and collecting on his face and neck. Breath slightly uneven, and hair bouncing ever so slightly, as if the wind wanted to be as gentle with him as possible. He didn't notice me... Mixed emotions flew through me but I couldn't be distracted by that- I had a mission to complete. Slowly sneaking closer, ever so quietly- which probably wouldn't have made any difference as he was listening to music that was fairly loud. The tapping of my feet and the faint sound of what seems to be some rap song fills my ears as I get closer and closer.

My breathing starts becoming erratic and sweats forms on my damp face. My tongue feels so hot against my chilled lips as I lick them over and over- force of habit. Finally, I'm behind him, one arm reaching out- he's here, he's mine. Tapping his shoulder ever so slightly, he jumps a little and turns around quickly, obviously startled. A pang of guilt rushes through me but then, then I see something directed at me. Oh lord, first I get to touch him and now his smile. The warmth of his smile filled my body leaving visible goosebumps that danced upon my skin as if they too enjoyed being seen and being embraced by that smile of his. He takes out one headphone and visibly turns down the volume- all for me.

"Oh, hey... Kin Seiichi right? We have class together." He remembered my name...

"Yes, I'm so sorry to distract you from walking, I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person. Your tennis skills, you as a person, your personality- it's so beautiful." What I really want to tell you is, your beautiful.

"Oh wow, I'm shocked... sorry, this has come as a surprise to me. I always thought you hated me, bro; you always seem to be staring at me with this kind of frustrated look on your face. Dude, I'm so flattered, honestly."

Confess dammit, CONFESS! Why can't I tell him...why. Why. Why! I've waited so long to even stand next to him and yet I waste this opportunity- I might as well commit Seppuku right here and right now. I'm so stupid, I don't deserve him, I should just be alone for the rest of my life. I'm ugly, I'm hideous, why God, wh- "Hey, are you alright? You look a little pale; if you live around here I can walk you home."

Lie. Lie. Tell him you got kicked out of your house, you have nowhere to go. "Ah... oh gosh, this is embarrassing but to be honest, my parents kicked me out for the night.... D-don't worry I'll find somewhere under a bridge or something to sleep for the night."

Make him feel guilty, you're doing good. He's too naive, too honest, too innocent to see through your lie.

"Ah shit man, let me call up my mom and see if you can stay the night, maybe we can go talk to your parents tomorrow, how's that sound?" There he goes again blinding me with what may be the holiest of creations- that smile. Nodding my head, I watch him as he backs away a little, turns around and calls his mom- probably wanting a little privacy for this sudden... almost intrusive situation.