Love is Blind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aylonah and Brian

Words seemed to flow from her mind onto the page with strokes of her pen.  Thoughts transpired the aches of her heart onto paper.  Worries of inadequacies and insecurities floated above her head in imaginary clouds. With the storm brewing over her, Aylonah jokingly stuck her pen into the first cloud. “My Parents,” she murmured as she watched the cloud dissipate, its frothy residue disappearing into her heart.  The pleasure of the imaginary warmth she felt brought a smile to her lips.
The knock at her door interrupted her in mid pop of the next bubble.  Brian stepped into her bedroom without waiting for an invitation.  As he approached, Aylonah noticed that he’d brought a single orchid planted in a lilac pot along with him. She stood up, defensively, not knowing his mood.
The realization that he hadn’t even apologized, gave her strength. She quickly prayed that her confidence didn’t waver, mentally stuck a pin in the next bubble, watched it pop and said,   “I can’t do this anymore.”
She assumed the orchid was his apology but he’d yet to speak the actual words. It was as if the other day had never even happened. 
“This? Lon, what are you talking about?”  Brian stared at her as if he didn’t understand.
Aylonah put distance between them just in case.  “I—I can’t go out with you anymore.”
He took a seat at her desk.  “Baby, if this is about the other day, I’m sorry.  I need you.  All I need is another chance, just to prove that you are my world.  I won’t be able to make it without you.” 
Brian extended his arms to her in a silent plea.
Aylonah folded her arms over her chest, leaned up against her wall. The look in his eyes said everything that she wanted to hear aloud.  Empty promises flowed from his lips as he attempted to convince her of his sincerity.
“I know you think you love me.  But not in the way I deserve.  I’m tired of being your punching bag, having to explain to my mother how I got another busted lip.  I’m tired of you telling me what I can and can’t  do.    I want to be equals the way we were before.  I want your respect, I want—”
Unable to bear with her thoughts or comments he stood up, “Lon, please—”
“I can help you, tell me what’s wrong with you.  I want to be there but you keep pushing me away.”  No longer afraid, she took the empty seat next to him.
  “Just give me another chance.  I’ll do anything to keep you.  You have to know that.”
Aylonah realized she’d make a mistake, the moment her hand touched his face.  The feel of his skin soft and warm beneath her fingertips reminded her of sweeter moments. Moments when the monster he’d become vanished in a pool of mutual love and understanding.
The anguished look in his eyes pulled at her heart strings. It was as if those strings banded around her heart tightly causing it to contract, demanding that she hurt for the sense of complete innocence and vulnerability shining through them. 
Taking her hands into his Brian lifted them to his lips for a kiss as he said, “You gon’ give me another chance?  I can change.” 
His touch spoke to the core of her heart.  It sent tingles coursing through her veins. The thought of his potential brought tears to her eyes.  Some of the one’s who had it, never realized it or weren’t capable for molding it into something substantial. She wanted the old Brian, that had shared sweet nothings on her front step when they were fourteen.
He could be that again, she convinced herself as she nodded her surrender. 
“Baby, I love you so much.”  His face lit up as he pulled her into is lap.  He proceeded to let his lips pluck at hers in invitation.
The feel of his lips n hers had her saying, “I love you too,” in hushed whispers as she sank into the kiss.
“Things will change, I swear.  Me and you are together forever.”
She breathed him in as she agreed, “Forever.”
Brian’s smile was slick and sinister.  Aylonah was his and she wasn’t going anywhere.  With that taken care of and behind them Brian decided that he had more important things to do than hang out with her.
















Chapter One







Dear Journal December 01, 1997

Things have changed between Brian and I.  It’s almost as if he’s keeping his distance from me.  He’s made a considerable amount of progress without the help of a counselor.  On the other hand Bri has been acting as mine.  And, I need one.  I’m content if not happy with the situation as it is.  Bri said living in fear that he’ll go back to the way he was before is just as bad as living with him taking his frustrations out on me.   I’m no longer stressing over him.  Jay on the other hand has proven to be a problem. We’ve been working together for two months and it’s crazy how I enjoy his company.  I find myself thinking about how glad I am that he didn’t actually get an opportunity to talk to Bri.  Anyway, I like him a whole lot more than I should.  Of course Brian doesn’t like him because he thinks that he wants me.  I’m the one doing all the wanting.  I have thoughts about him that are definitely inappropriate.  And not just thoughts. I’m taking dreams.  Dreams where this nigga is turning me out.  I’m lovin’ it but it’s driving me the hell crazy. 
In the past two months he’s become one of my best friends.  We talk and talk and I dream.  He blows my mind with his ambitions and his shinning personality.  I can talk--I mean really talk to him.  He understands me, my passion for writing, where I’m coming from where as Brian only pretends to be interested in the things I am interested in to entertain my heart. And that’s if he even cares anything about my damn heart.  This past month he’s been in another world.  I don’t know where but he hasn’t been a part of mine.

Aylonah James
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aylonah

At thirty-two years of age Michelle still exuded youth. Her features were still fresh and her body was tight. The pair was always mistaken as sisters.  It was something that continuously got under Aylonah’s skin “How do I look?” Michelle asked her daughter, spinning around so Aylonah could see the black dress caressing her mother’s curves. 
A smile danced around her lips as she said, “Mom, you look fine.” 
.


  "I love it when your father comes home."
  "I'on know why," she said jokingly.
  "I just want him to see what he's missing out on."  Michelle laughed and Aylonah shook her head.  Her parents were dating each other again after a separation of six and a half years.  When they'd initially gotten back together Michelle had tried her best to keep it a secret but had failed miserably.  She was too elated to keep the news quiet.
  "Aren't you a little too young to be sneaking around with my dad?"
  "I'm thirty-two years old.  I don't have to sneak, I do whatever I want to do."
Michelle had been just fifteen and still in high school when she'd had Aylonah.  It always seemed odd for Aylonah because her mom had just finished school and became a psychologist and in a year or so she would be starting her own college career.  The years always were wrong, she thought sadly.
  "Don't you want more?"
  "Yes, but this is all we have to offer one another right now.  It's enough to know that he still loves me.  I've found that it's better to share one night in the arms of the man than to share your whole life with one you don't.  Your father is the only one for me and has been since I was fourteen.  He has the key to my heart and I the key to his."  That sounded heart breakingly true.  Aylonah knew that her mother's heart yearned for the commitment that her father's was afraid to make.  Men could be so dumb.  Aylonah shook her head.  After all they'd been through they weren't even married. That's what hurt her the most.  Michelle saw that her daughter was quiet and took it to mean that she was dealing with the words she'd given her.
  "When you fall in love you'll know what I mean."  Michelle didn't consider what Aylonah and Brian shared as love. She knew what being in love was like and her daughter didn't express those emotions anymore than her ten month old did.
  "What are you doing tonight?"
  "Nothing..  Jay and I are studying for the SATS."
  "Jay, huh?  He's a cute one and if I wasn't in love with you father and about fifteen years older I'd-"
  "You'd what?"  Aylonah asked.  Suddenly her mother had her full attention.
  "Nothing..  Baby, I was only joking.  But he's definitely a cutie and if you don't make your mind up about liking him somebody else sure will."
  "That's a subject I don't wish to talk about."  Aylonah was saved by the ringing of the bell..  Quickly she jumped off her mother's bed.
  "I'll get it," Aylonah said.

"Jay!" she exclaimed when she opened the door and found him there.
  "Hi." His thick eyebrows drew closer together.
Please don't do that anymore.  He must not know how good his ass looks.
  "Come in..  It's cold as shit out there."
  "Watch your mouth," her mother requested upon entering the living room.
  "Sorry, Mom."
  "Close my door then.  I don't pay bills to heat up the whole Page Street."
  "Hi, Ms.. Michelle."
  "Hello, Jason."
Jay looked at Lonah's mother as if she weren't a mother.  "You look good. I mean, you look really nice.  Are you going somewhere special?"
  "Yes, and thank you."  Another knock on the door.
  "That's Steve, let me go get my coat.  Open the door, but wait until I get upstairs."
Always wants to make an entrance.  And I don't know why he knocks when he has a key.
  "Hi, Daddy," she greeted when she opened the door.
  "How'd you know it was me?"  Steve questioned, his six-three form filling the doorway.
  "I could see you through the peephole," Aylonah responded.
  "Missed you, princess" he said taking his daughter into his arms for a long over due embrace..
  "I missed you too," she replied, holding his form to her.
  "Where's Shy?" he asked about the small child who had in a sense became his own.
  "She's at Nanna's."
  "Shelle, come on!" he hollered up the stairs.
  "I'm coming," she yelled back.
Aylonah stood waiting for her father's attention.  It had been a month since the last time she'd seen him.  Of course she was excited about seeing him but she'd always gotten the impression that he was more interested in her mother.  Or that both of her parents were entirely too interested in one another to ever take notice of her.  When Steve turned back to face his child, the child who would have thrown herself upon his feet to have him treat her, just once like she was the most important thing in his life, Aylonah masked her hurt by introducing the two males in the room..
  "Friends?" he inquired after the introduction.  Steve smiled because he knew what being "friends" meant.
  "Yeah, we're just friends," Aylonah answered.
  "So I guess you’re still seeing the one next door?”  Steve didn’t try to hide his dislike for Brian.
  “You don’t have to say it like that and yes, I am still seeing Brian.”
  “Well, I’m not going to get in to all that right now.  But we do need to talk about your relationship with him.”
My mother talks entirely much.
  “About what?”
  “Don’t act stupid with me, Aylonah,” Steve replied.
  “Okay, Dad, whatever,” Aylonah said, rolling her eyes.
  “Girl, don’t play with me.  If you’re still up when your mother and I get back we’ll talk.  She’s worried about you and so am I.”
Yeah right..
   “It’s not that serious, Dad.” Aylonah rushed the words from her lips as her mother made her way down the stairs.  She understood that if Michelle got in it, she’d be talking about it till no end.  “Have a good time, Mom.”
Michelle smiled gracefully, kissed her daughter on the cheek and said, “I will, baby.  Now don’t stay up too late.  Tomorrow is a school night.  Goodnight, Jay.”
  “Goodnight, Ms. Michelle.  It’s nice meeting you, Sir,” Jay said..
  “It was nice meeting you as well, Jay,” Steve replied, shaking his hand.  “I feel good knowing that my daughter isn’t always company to her little boyfriend.”
  “Daddy!  God, what if I were trying to get with Jay you would have busted my grove up.”
Jay just laughed as Aylonah fumed and Michelle’s face turned to one of worry.  She tugged on Steve’s arm.  “Let’s go into the kitchen.  I’m thirsty,” she lied.  Steve frowned but followed.
  “Damn, I gotta run upstairs to get my books.  I’ll be back in a minute.  Sit down  and relax.  They’ll be gone in a few,” Aylonah told him as she turn to run up the stair after her parents made their way into the kitchen..
No more than five minutes had passed before Steve was storming back into the living room shouting for Aylonah to come downstairs. 
  “Yeesss?” she yelled from her room.
  “AYLONAH!  GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!” he yelled. 
Aylonah wasted zero time making her way to the living room.  “Why you hollerin’?”
she asked, looking at Steve as if he were crazy.
  “You let that nigga hit you?”
  “What?” she asked dazed, staring past her father and into her mother’s face.  Michelle moved to Steve’s side.
  “I asked if that nigga hit you.”
  “No.  Why would you ask me something like that when I got company?”
  “Girl, I’on give a damn ‘bout no company.  He put his hands on you?  Huh?  Your mother said you had a black eye and a couple bruises a while back-”
Aylonah shook her head.  She couldn’t believe this but had already known that whenever Steve had found out he would act this way.  “Brian ain’t hit me. And all of a sudden, you wanna play the part of the worried and concerned father..  What, I look like a five year old?”
Deciding that this family scene was the last one he wanted to be a part of Jay said, “Aylonah, I’m ‘bout to bounce.  You got a lot going on wit’ your family and all.  I’ll just call you.”
  “A’ight.  I’ll see you in school tomorrow,” she answered, walking over to the front door to let him out.  “I hate this house,” she yelled when the door closed behind Jay.  “You show up here whenever you want and think that you can just order my life around and mom lets you.  If you didn’t notice I’m old enough to take care of myself.”
Steve looked down at Michelle and then cautiously back at his daughter.  “I don’t care what you hate.  And as old as you think you are you don’t take care of yourself.  I do, your mother does, but you my seventeen year-old daughter don’t.  We pay your bills, we buy your damn clothes, we put money in your pocket and we see to it that you don’t ever have a thing to worry about..  You are not an adult and you better think twice about saying that out of your mouth ever again.  My not being here is hard on everyone but I have a job that I can’t just throw away-”
  “But you have a family that you can, right?  What the hell is a job compared to us?”
  “The two of you can cut this shit out right now.  I will not go through this shit..  Aylonah, your father and I are worried about you-”
  “I just wish that you guys would just leave me alone.”
  “You let a nigga beat on you and get mad at me because I care enough to wanna break his little fuckin’ neck.  He hit you-”
  “NO HE DIDN’T!!”  Without saying another word Aylonah turned around and hauled up the steps.
  “I don’t know what else to do with her, Steve.  I can’t keep sending her to my mother’s.  She trust her more than she does us and that tears me up inside ‘cause I made it that way.  She doesn’t even look at us-” She was quickly cut off my the sound of rough voices coming from in front of her door.  “What the hell?” she murmured wandering over to the window to peek out the window.  When she cover her open mouth with her hand Steve moved next to her and also began peering out the window.  “I can’t believe this lil’ nigga,” Steve commented as he made his way to the door.  When he opened it he heard Brian say, “This is the last time I’ma tell you to stop fuckin’ with my girl!”
  “Yo, break this shit up,” Steve demanded from the entryway of the house.  Both Brian and Jay looked up at him as he made his way down the front steps to confront them.
  “Sorry about the noise, Mr. Steve.  We just tryna solve a little problem we got here,” Brian told Steve.
  “Seems to me that you have a lot of problems these days.”  Steve had to hold himself back from hitting the younger guy in fear of losing everything.  He’d probably kill him.
  “My only problem is this boah tryna get wit’ my girl.  He must wanna box me.”
That he doubted..  “You think you can beat me?” Jay questioned with a laugh. 
  “Chill out, Jay.  Mr. Brian and I have a couple things to talk about.  You can catch him another time.”
Respecting Steve’s wishes, Jay backed away.  “Tell Aylonah that I’ll call her la-”
  “You still don’t get the message,  Leave my girl the hell alone.” Brian persisted as Jay rounded  his car and prepared to get in.
  “B, lets see if you can get this message.  I want you to leave my daughter alone,” Steve said harshly.
Confused, Brian looked up at Steve as he moved in closer.  “What?”
  “I said I want you to stay away from Aylonah.  If  I catch you looking at her I‘m break your neck.”
  “Hold up.  What’s all this about.  If Aylonah and I wish to see each other that’s our decision.  It’s not up to you or you, Ms. Michelle..”
  “You made up your mind when you chose to hit my daughter.  What in your brain made you think that you were going to get away with that?”
Scared that Aylonah had talked, Brian shook his head.  “I ain’t never hit Aylonah..  How ‘bout you ask her then,” he suggested hoping to find out if she really had told.  When Michelle moved into the house to admit him, Brian let out a sigh of relief.  Evidently her parents were going on hear-say. 
He entered the house confident that Aylonah had been quiet about all of their spats.
  “LONAH!” he yelled. 
At the sound of his voice Aylonah rushed down the stairs.
  “B, what are you doing here?” she asked him but was staring at her parents..
  “Yo, tell your mom and your dad that I ain’t ever hit you,” he pleaded, looking directly at her.  Aylonah knew that he was asking her to lie.  She agreed.
OH. My God!  Why they go get him?.
  “I told y’all that already.  Why y’all have to go and get him?” she asked as if she were in the position to make changes.
  “Don’t lie to me, Aylonah.  DON’T STAND HERE AND LIE TO ME IN MY FACE, DAMMIT!!!!” her father yelled.
  “Don’t be yellin’ at her.  Look, she just told y’all that I ain’t ever hit her and I didn’t.  I’on got time for this bullshit,” he told his girlfriend.  “You coming?” he asked Aylonah.  His tone didn’t leave her much choice.   After looking from mother to father she nodded her head, “yeah.”
Steve was taken aback by his daughter’s blatant defiance.  “You not going anywhere.  Get this clown out my house,” he ordered.
  “Yo, get your shit and come on,” Brian demanded.  Steve had enough of his mouth and grabbed him by his jacket front to shut him up.  Aylonah began screaming then.  “DADDY!  Let him go.  Dag, he ain’t do anything to me.  I’m not even gon’ go with him.  Can you just let him go,” she pleaded with her father trying to pry the hands away that were now closing around his neck.
  “Mom, I’ma just walk him out and come right back.”
  “No!”  Both Steve and Michelle yelled firmly.
Steve opened the door and escorted Brian out.  “And stay the hell away you little punk.”
He turned around just in time to see his daughter run up the stairs in tears.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Briannah

Briannah smiled down into the vision she'd just created.  She could already see the simple but elegant design being transformed from paper to fabric to the runway.  Content with the drawing she set out to her original task.  Her calculus homework.  What a pain it was to have advanced classes in high school.  It was, she thought a curse to be overly intelligent. Today she'd just received her SAT scores back from the test she'd taken a month before and was again rewarded for her genius.  Not everyone in the world got above a fourteen hundred.  Colleges were already offering her the works but she still was holding out for SCAD to offer her acceptance and the works.  It would happen she was sure.  Briannah Kilia Mack was perfect.  There was no way she wasn't getting in. 
Briannah made one last attempt at math before she decided to take on the task of something else.  "Did you register for next semester yet?"  Briannah asked Tyree.  When his expected answer didn't follow her question Briannah called him, "Tyree?"
  "What?" he answered after a minute.  His mind consumed with the video game he'd been playing.
  "I asked if you registered-"
  "Yeah.  Classes start on the 20th of January," he replied, looking over his shoulder to find her leaning into the kitchen doorway.
  "Ummm.  Mr. Graduate School," she purred sexily.
He laughed.  "Umm, Miss. fourteen-seventy.  You ready to go home?" he asked when he took in how exhausted she looked.  Briannah looked down at him playfully.  “Naw, I thought I should spend the night.  You was doing your thing yesterday and I didn’t want to distract you.”
  More interested in her now, he neglected the game and said, "So distract me now."
  “You just died,” she said when his player turned face down into the water..
  “Naw, he just woke up,” he said, patting the bulge in his lap beneath the fabric of his jeans.  Briannah bit her bottom lip, swayed over in front of him and the big screen TV.  She turned the game off and then the TV.
  “You finished your homework?”
Briannah sighed.  He really could kill the mood.
  “No, I’m taking a break plus it‘s the weekend anyway.”
Tyree laughed.  “Boo, you need to take care of that right now ‘cause when I get a hold of you, I’ma bang that back out.”
  “Here we go with this shit,” she said, walking around the glass coffee table.. 
  “You’n be screamin’?” he joked arrogantly, pulling here down onto his lap.  She giggled when he nipped at her earlobe.
  “You got a real big head,” Briannah told him, twining her arms around his neck
  “Yeah, I know-” Briannah interrupted him with a laugh.
  “Nigga, please.  I was talking about the humungous thing that your neck supporting not the one between your thighs.
  “You hurting his feelings, Briannah,” Tyree told her, taking her hand and pressing it intimately to him.  She snatched her hand away.  “Get off me.  You so nasty.”
  “You know you want it.  My freak nasty baby."
Briannah grinned, shifted herself on his lap and turned her face up to his.  "Ewww, you so corny.  Where you get that from?"
  "You think I'm corny?" he asked, hugging her tightly.
  "Naw, you a'ight.  I don't think you could ever be categorized as corny.  You wit' me 'cause you think I'm a freak?" she laughed.
  "I wanted you like crazy.  Point blank.  And I got you,” he stated with certainty..
  “You were persistent.  That’s the only reason you got me.”
  “Three years, Briannah is not just persistence.  It’s determination.”
  “Whatever.  You yellin’ “when you gon’ let me come see you?”, is not the way to get a lady’s attention.  All you had to do was stop comin’ at me in a disrespectful way.  You lucky though, Trina and Case kept putting in bids for you.”
  “So if it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t be together?”
  “Naw, I was frontin’.  You know I wanted you.”
  “You was always tryna play me.”
  “I had a boyfriend.”
  “I’on even wanna know what you was doin’ with that nut ass nigga.  In the end, he couldn‘t even keep you.”
Briannah sucked her teeth.  “Nigga, you had a girlfriend- no you had a baby momma and so much damn drama.”
  “You got jokes-”
  “Oh and how can I forget your oh so obvious involvement in drugs and street corners.”
  “It just don’t make a difference now?”
  “You know it matter, Tyree.  Especially after Tommy got killed.” It had been three years but the wounds still hurt for both of them.  Briannah is very good friends with Tommy’s niece and he had been one of Tyree’s best friends and partners.
  “That’s why we don’t sell no more.”
  “Regardless, it’s not like you ever put me in any danger.  And it’s not like you gon’ be doing it forever. You got your shit together and you got dreams.”
He nodded.  “I got a dream for you,” he said whispering it into her ear.
  “I’m wit’ that,” she giggled.
  “Don’t gotta tell me twice,” he murmured into her open mouth. 




Chapter Two
Realizations






Aylonah

Dear Journal December 6, 1997

B must have thought he was tough tonight talking to my father that way.  For a minute I was frightened that my dad was really going to choke the shit out of him.  But in the mist of that I came to the huge realization that I don’t love him anymore.  I’m afraid of him but I don’t love him anymore.  Having to sit there and lie to my parents tonight was the worse.  Not only did I lie to them but I just down right disrespected them in their house.  Part of it was because that’s how I was feeling but I still had no right speaking that way to them.  But I did so fuck it.  What’s done is done.  I’m tired of stressin’ out ‘cause my life is fucked up.  I have a boyfriend I can’t get rid of because I’m scared and a set of parents who half the time don’t even realize that I exist.
My dad tries to come to town as often as his job allows him to, but those visits are few and far between.  When he gets here they go out together and just forget that their daughter is even around.  All my life all I’ve wanted was someone to love me the way I love them.  I see that as part of the reason I hold on my relationship with B.  He loves me, in his own twisted way.  Some shit went down with him so he has problems so I understand why he’s fucked up.  But my parents are adults in charge of their own emotions.  Nothing traumatic ever happened to them as children to shape their emotions for other people.  I guess I’m not really saying that they don’t love me ‘cause deep down I know that they do.  It just feels that it’s out of obligation.  I hate the way that feels, I just want to be loved for being me.  My mom is a psychiatrist and she can assess patient’s problems all day long and can’t even look at me and see that I’m falling apart.  Falling apart from lack of attention from my parents.  Until recently I’ve always considered my mother more as an aunt, ‘cause she’s never really been there.  At fifteen she found herself pregnant and she couldn’t get rid of it- I mean of me..  I can imagine nanna’s face when she found out that her baby girl was pregnant.  Anyway, I stayed with nanna and pop-pop for six years while she went away to college.  Then we lived with her for another three years when she decided to attend Temple University to get her doctorate degree.  The things that gets me is while I was in Philly with nanna, my mother and father were in neighboring states seeing as much of one another as possible.  But the biggest thing is that when my godmother left her two children my mother decided that she was a fit enough parent to raise them.  She takes care of my one-year-old god sister, Shy like she’s hers and her older brother Cincere.  But Cin only comes over on weekends ’cause his father, Nick is raising him.  But the baby- God, I must sound so jealous.  Yeah I am.  She spend more time with Shy then she ever did with me and that hurts my heart.  SO how can I not be jealous when everyone else comes first in the lives of the people who come first in mine?   
Aylonah James

Aylonah put her journal away in her top drawer, turned out her bedside lamp and sank down in the comfort of her bed.  She closed her eyes and prayed for God to allow her just one peaceful night of sleep and to thank Him for the day that had just passed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Briannah

This felt good.  Briannah lay wrapped in Tyree’s arms, her legs in tangles with his and she was as content as a cat.  His hold was very secure and possessive.  She closed her eyes savoring the delight of being held by this strong man.  Lightly, she ran her fingers across one of the arms that held her, not to arouse or awaken but to soothe.  In his sleep he pulled her closer to him.
  “This feels good,” she murmured not expecting an answer.
  “Yeah, it does.”  He surprised her by answering. 
She smiled to herself.  There had been so many nights like this one.  They’d wake up and she’d be curled into his body like she belonged there.  The past few months had been good.  What she hadn’t wanted to happen happened anyway.  They were in a relationship and a pretty good one if she said so herself. 
She did.
  “So I guess this will be worth it.”
  “Worth what?” he asked, lazily fitting his hands over top her smaller ones..
  “Hearing my mom’s mouth.  She’d be so pissed if she knew I wasn’t in my own bed right now,” she responded with a laugh.
  “Remember that I did offer to take you home,” he stated, clearing the sleep from his throat.
  “I remember so I won’t hold anything against you.  What time do you have to be to work?”
  “I’m opening.  So early as shit.  I’ve been there for almost four years and you’d think they’d cut a nigga a break.  I guess this is the cost to be the boss.  It’s gon’ happen for me soon though..”
  “You’ve always wanted to own a restaurant?”
  “Every since I started having realistic goals for myself.”
  “So, you on a ten year plan, huh?”
  “Something like that.  These days you gotta have one.  That’s why all ‘dem niggas out there hustlin’ not gon’ make it.”  Briannah sucked her teeth.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t wanna sound like a hypocrite.  The drug business is like that.  But these young boahs out here today ain’t ‘bout nothing but a couple dollars.  They sellin’ for these knuckle head niggas that don’t know nothin’ ‘bout preservation.  They be on a block for a couple weeks and get put off.  We ran our block since we were nineteen.  That’s the only way you makin’ anything.  Control of your dollar and your own drugs is the best way to do.  I’m speaking of investments, getting’ real paper.  I tried to put your brother down with us but he ain't seein' the big picture..  He old enough to put in a little money with us so he get an ROI .  Sorry, I mean a return on his investment-”  He would have kept going if Briannah hadn’t stopped him.  She sucked her teeth again and asked, “What is this?  A seminar on ‘How to be a drug lord’?”
He laughed and murmured, “Naw, you know I be gettin’ carried away.”
  “Obviously.  You’re like your own personal drug lord handbook, huh?”
  “That’s cute, Briannah.  But like I said niggas gotta look at the bigger picture..  This drug shit gon’ fade.  The government is ‘bout to start crackin’ down on that shit-”
  “Oh, please.  They part of the reason drugs is so prevalent in our community.”
  “True but they ‘bout to start trafficking that shit so that only they runners gon’ be able to do it.  If you ain’t runnin’ with them you ain’t gon’ be runnin’ at all.”
  “Understand that.  But lets get back to the plan,” Briannah said tired of talking about the drug business.
  “So anyway, I’ma continue my assistant kitchen manager position until I’m done with grad school.  I’ll work for them about two more years after that while I’m tryna get my investments together.  I’ll be ready to open my place in about three years but that depends on a few things.”
  “Sounds like a solid plan to me.”
  “It’s all right.  I gotta plan for a few detours though.  Shit don’t always go the way you want it.  For the most part I’ma make it happen..”  Tyree reached over to turn on the bedside lamp.  Briannah squinted until her eyes adjusted to the light.  They both sat up against the headboard.
  “Your grandma raised you real good,” she commented on a yawn.  She rested her head on his shoulder.  Tyree smiled and kissed the top of her head.
  “I’ll have to let her know that you think so.  She did the best she could..  It wasn’t like I made it any easier for her.  But that didn’t stop her.  I knew that no matter what I did or how much trouble I got in she would always be there for me and she was.  She’s the reason I wanna be somebody..  Shit- the reason I am somebody.  Grace taught me not to settle for less and that’s why I don’t in any area of my life.  I wanna give her back at least half the things she gave me.  I wanna thank her for raising my sister to be a lady and not letting her fall into the system like I did.”  Briannah smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder while snuggling in closer.  “She was a big help when Yah came along.  I didn’t know what to do.  I wanted to run, I mean I was scared as shit having a life to protect.  Having someone you have to be perfect for.  Grace took me and sat me down and asked if I’d made a baby with Nyimah.  I just sat there and started at her which she took for yes.  She talked about how she knew I didn’t want my child growing up without a father.  That put my back up ‘cause I never knew my father.  I had my uncle Stephen to look up to but he ain’t my dad.  She told me that she’d raised me to be a man who took care of his responsibilities.  It was never like I was gon’ deny him or anything, she just wasn’t giving me the option to.  I wasn’t ready for fatherhood-”
  “You’re really good at it.  Your grandma spoiled you without ruining you.”  Briannah didn’t know too many people who would talk to a grown twenty year old man about fatherhood.
  “There’s a difference between love, affection, leadership, and being spoiled.  You’re spoiled.  Diamonds.  What average girl you know get diamonds for her birthday?”  Briannah frowned.  First off, she wasn’t average, a little pampered maybe, but definitely not spoiled.  “They’re only studs, Tyree.”
  “2 carat studs.  Tell me about your dad,” he said.  She’d never talked about him before and he assumed that they’d come to that point in their relationship where no doors were closed.  He felt her stiffen and wondered if he hit a sore spot.  When those busy fingers ran through her hair he knew he did.
  “Well, if you’d rather not, we could talk about it some other time,” he told her, stroking her shoulders.
  “No, it’s cool.  When I was thirteen my parents got a divorce.  I haven’t seen him since then.  He supports us financially but we never see him.”
  “Why’d they get a divorce?” he asked.
  “He used to beat my mom up all the time,” she replied, her voice as low as a whisper.
  “Sorry.  We don’t have to talk about it.”
Now that makes sense to why B beats up on his pretty ass girlfriend.  “He never hit you did he?”  His voice was husky from wanting to protect her from the past.
Briannah shook her head. “No.  If we did anything he always took it out on my mom.”
  “How long did it go on?”
  “The whole time they were married.”
  “She never tired to get out before then?”
  “A few times.  She’d run but she’d always go back.  The first couple times we were real little.  They were slaps and shoves.  Then they turned into punches.  She used to wear glasses and a bunch of makeup to cover up the black eyes and ask B and I not to mention it to our grandparents 'cause we’d get daddy in trouble.  When they started we would just cry and hide.  Most of the time it was over something real insignificant and dumb.  Or something that he’d even made up in his head.”
  “What your family do?  You got a uncle right?”  he asked his anger apparent..
  “The first time she got put in the hospital my uncle Sean whooped his ass something horrible.  And she left him for like a week but couldn’t resist when he came around sniffing and crying that he was sorry.  She took him back though.  She loved him, she said.  I never understood. Still can’t” she added thinking about her best friend.  “Things would be right for weeks, months even.  But it never stopped completely.  After years of the same pattern my uncle stopped trying to help ‘cause my mom went right back to him.  Towards the end my dad had lost his job and was feeling edgy all the time.  Had my mom walkin’ on eggshells ‘cause she knew that the smallest thing could and would set him off.  She tired to be perfect.  I still remember the day,” she said calmly. Briannah looked into Tyree’s eyes, what she was understanding so she continued.  “My mom ran a little daycare center since my dad didn’t let work outside the house.  One of the daycare kids broke this crystal figurine that my dad was in love with.  It had sentimental value..  It happened early in the morning so she was scared all day long ’cause she thought he wasn’t coming until late.  You know the anticipation of waiting for something inevitable to happen.  I mean she cried all day long.  My dad came home early and some of the kids were still there so his anger was controlled..  Anyway, one of the little girls father always made jokes with her about how good she looked.  He touched her and called her pretty.  That only made things worse..  As soon as the last kid left my dad started in on her.  Callin’ her a whore, and asking if she wanted to be with other men.  Tellin’ her that she didn’t want to be with him anymore and he couldn’t have that..  It was like he’d forgotten all about the figurine.  She was runnin' away beggin' him not to hurt her.  That didn’t stop him.  That night he fractured her jaw,” she cleared away the tears in her throat.  “I always tell myself not to cry,” she said wiping away a tear that threatened to fall on Tyree’s shoulder.  He took her face into his hands and kissed her cheeks.  “Boo, its okay.  It was a long time ago.  You won’t have to go through that again.”  He soothed her by stroking her back as she fought to continue her story.
  “He, umm, broke her left arm, a couple of ribs.  My dad hadn’t known but my mom was three and a half months pregnant and because of him she’d had a miscarriage.  If it hadn’t been for that she would have went back to him.  She loved him and she would have died if the baby hadn’t.  Staying there meant that he was going to eventually kill her.  I felt as if I were betraying her because I still loved him.  I still wanted him to be my dad.”
  “It’s not wrong for you to want your father in your life,” he agreed, kissing her forehead.
  “It should be when he treated my mom like that.  I hated him and loved him at the same time.  Its just confusing and it hurts to think about it so just hold me, and don’t let go,” she pleaded.
He did for the rest of the night.

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