Half A Heart

Chapter Four

On my way to Starbucks. I was trying to process what Edward said. Is that what my dream was trying to tell me? To Let go of Glenn and choose Edward instead? I am so confused right now. What if I accepted Edward's feelings then suddenly Glenn will come back? What if I chose to wait for Glenn, but he never came back for me. 

Another thing I am worrying about, what if everyone will just look at Edward as if he's my rebound from Glenn. I don't want to hurt Edward, he is starting to build up in me. I really like Edward but I am not sure if I can love him more than a friend. Oh God, please help me. At least give me a sign.

When I went inside Starbucks, I saw Felipe and Charlotte talking to a guy. Wait, is that Glenn? Then the guy looked up. Dammit! It's Glenn. He gave me a weak smile. As I approached them, Felipe amd Charlotte stood up.

"Just text me when you're done talking." Charlotte said.

I sat down in front of Glenn. He was not talking. And I don't want to start the conversation. So we just sat there for more than a minute just looking around. This is getting really awkward. Can't he just start the talking before I get up here and leave. But I don't want to leave. I know he hurt me so much over the summer with all the ignored messages I sent him. But I still love him. I don't know how this will end but if he wants us to get back I'll be more than happy to accept him.

"I bought you your favorite Caramel Frappe." He pushed the cup to me.

"Oh thanks a lot." I smiled.

"How are you?" Finally!

"I'm kinda good. You?" I replied in a low tone.

"I'm good. What do yo mean by 'kinda good'?"

Duh. How can someone be so numb with the feelings of others? Is this how big he changed in three months? As if he doesn't know me? Of course I'm hurt by what he did, can't he feel that in my voice? His voice and presence is crushing my heart now because I can sense it that after this we will never be the same again. I can feel it.

I wish this never happened. I'll kill Charlotte and Felipe for letting this happen. But if this will not happen there will be a lot of unanswered questions in my head that will haunt me for like forever.

"Well, you know. The way you acted for the past three months affected me so much. You said before you left that nothing will change while you're in Japan. But what happened is different, you never replied to my messages, not just even a message telling me you're fine and I shouldn't worry. And when you came back you didn't even took an effort to tell me you're already here instead you contacted Charlotte first." I said.

"I am sorry for that. I know I've been a big dick lately and I am really sorry for hurting you. I know I promised before that I will not hurt you. But when I was away from you I had a time to think about us."

Suddenly I felt my eyes stinging. Oh no, I am not going to cry in this damn Starbucks. I will make a scene, and it will be awkward. I have to keep it together, you can do this Ian.

"I thought about the future. Will I handle us being in different college. If I will not distance with you now I might fuck up in college and it will hurt you more. And I didn't contacted you when I went home because I am scared to hurt you. I am scared that this will happen." He continued.

So that's it? Is it over? There's nothing I can do if that's what he want. I want to fight for this relationship. But how will I fight for it if Glenn himself has already raised the white flag. He gave up already so what's worth fighting for? His reason was acceptable. I mean, seriously, he's a bisexual and he might not control his feelings for someone else since we are going in a different college. And if that will happen it might cause a lot on me.