The Will

My arm felt as if it were filled with lead as I silently stood beside his bed. Beads of sweat accumulated on my brow, eventually dripping to the barren floor beneath me. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest; each beat felt like a weight being dropped against me. How could I do this? I was far too weak to bring destruction into the life of someone I loved. My body furiously shook as I clutched the pistol in my hand. I took a deep breath, still remaining silent to not wake the couple tucked away in their bed. Surely this treatment was fair.
The man snoring on top of his lush mattress was my brother. A politician self made, brilliant, and filled with charisma. He had everything a man could ever want in this world. His wife was a beauty—a blonde bombshell—and she also contributed to their family with her corporation. Not only did they find fortune and prestige in their hands, but they were also madly in love. Even now as they slept they were embracing one another. Much of me felt a desire for such affection and wealth. It was why I stood in their bedroom, watching patiently as they slept.
I was the total opposite of my brother. I lacked the brains my brother had that propelled him through his education. I had dropped out of high school and luckily obtained my GED. I managed a local fast food restaurant and earned enough to take care of myself, however I could never afford the lavish lifestyle my brother enjoyed. Until now.
Six days ago my life changed. It was as if God himself came down and gifted me with opportunity and a fresh start. A new leaf was turned, all thanks to a cancerous tumor. A wealthy woman I had no idea existed had left me in her will; a long lost aunt of sorts. I remember feeling confusion as to why no one told me about her, or why she chose to have her nephew in her will. Either way, I was to be granted her entire fortune for myself. A man could never have been happier to hear his troubles would be wiped. Finally I could not just get by, but I could live.
My happiness had persisted throughout the week, even though I had been told there was a deal within the will. I would have to carry out this deal or every penny I inherited would be destroyed. At the time I saw it as power, and nothing could stop me from feeling superior to my family, especially my brother. I even beamed through the funeral, often purposely stopping myself from exuding too much excitement. I eyed my brother proudly, enjoying his look of worry and dread. At that moment I knew he had been told the same thing. They must've came to him too, alerting him of the catch in order to inherit the money. Yes, he knew. I know he did. The competition was then officially established. I wouldn't let him win though. I would kill him first before he could kill me.
Now I found myself on the last night with a gun in my hand as a guest in my sibling's household. I thought it would be easy. That I could muster plenty of hate and envy to end his life. I thought that a single bullet through his head would be simple. After all, the only thing I had to do was pull a trigger. Nausea crept over me the longer I stalled. When I looked at him I did not see hatred nor did I see a man inferior to the man I had just become. Memories of our childhood and deeply rooted brotherhood flooded me. My vision was becoming blurrier by the second. I tried to swallow, but my throat was parched and the lump inside it persisted. No matter what was befallen to me he would still be superior in every single sense. I watched his chest rise and fall beneath his covers. He was a father, a husband, a son, my brother. I couldn't do it. The money meant nothing to me anymore. My hand trembled as I shifted my aim, guiding the weapon towards my temple. I was nothing, and I was sorry. A tear traced my cheek as I braced myself for the incoming impact.