Joke's On Us

Joker gets Jealous:Harley pov

"Turn here." I demanded to P, the driver.

"We're going home, Harley." J growled.

"TURN." P obeyed.

"Where are we going?" P asked.

"I'm hungry and there's a diner a couple miles away."

"We're an hour away from home." Joker said rolling his eyes.

"I want diner food." I argued.

"Fine fine fine." Joker muttered.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I ordered three banana and blueberry pancakes, eggs, and juice. Joker ordered coffee. P ordered scrambled eggs. T (not the one from the asylum) got coffee and an omelet. G and D both got pancakes, plain. K didn't get anything and neither did Al. We ate quickly and I soon became interested in our waiter. "I'll be back, I'm just going to the bathroom." I announced.

As I walked to the bathroom I gave cute waiter boy a wink and waited inside the women's room. Cute boy came in a minute later. "Thought you'd come." I said, smiling.

"Are those guys out there your brothers, roommates?" Cute boy asked.

"The one with the green hair is my whatever, the others are my boys, our boys. They do my dirty work."

"Oh okay. Your whatever?"

"He isn't important right now." I said. "So what's your name?" I stepped closer to him and he blushed.

"Mark. "

"That's a cute name!" I said coming even closer.

"What is um what's yours?"

"Harley, Harley Quinn."

"The Harley Quinn? The New York queen of crime? Oh jeez I should've recognized you."

"Does it change anything?"

"No, I'm just surprised. "

"Do me a favor, Mark?"

"Anything, I mean yeah, sure." I winked.

"Kiss meh."

"Uh yeah uh sure." He kissed me lightly and I got bored of sweet kisses so I backed him into a stall. I felt him up and he was moaning. "Um should I um touch um...." Mark trailed off and I grabbed his hands and shoved them on my breasts. The door opened. Joker stood there. Mark pulled away fast. "Uh I um."

"Get. Out. " Joker said slowly.

"Sir, uh I didn't um .. she"

"I what, Mark?" I chimed in.

"You have five seconds to get the fuck away from her and out of this bathroom before I kill you." Joker took a deep breath and pulled out his gun. His eyes were closed. "One." Deep breath. "Two." Another breath. Mark began squeezing himself out of the stall and rushing to open the door handle."Three." Joker opened his eyes. "FOUR." Mark was gone.

"What's your problem, Mr. J?" Joker was mad again. He slapped me across the face and I fell backwards, barely catching myself. "Joker go suck dick." I yelled. He grabbed me by one of my pigtails and pulled me up.

"What did you think you were doing just now?" J said calmly. Too calmly.

"Kissing a cute guy." I replied, my eyes level with his.

"You are mine."

"Nah."

"Look at your jacket and say that again." Mockingly I looked at my back and looked at J.

"Naaaaah." Joker picked me up and threw me on the floor. It hurt a hell of a lot but I got back up. "I hate you." I said to him. Joker stepped towards me.

"I hate you too." I stepped to him.

"I despise you with every fiber in my being." I said stepping closer.

"I wish you were dead." Closer.

"Kill me, Mr. J." We kissed each other. It was a long, passionate kiss. He picked me up and put me on the sink counter. When he pulled back he looked into my eyes.

"I'm not capable of love, Harley." This startled me.

"Yes you are. You're human."

"But I'm not humane. I'll never give you marriage, kids, flowers and chocolates."

"I don't want that. I want you, Puddin." I hugged him and he lifted me off the counter.

"For now."

"I'm gonna say it again so prepare yourself." I said. "I love you." Joker kissed my forehead.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Mr. J, Timothy Warden, one of Penguin's clients wants a meeting with you tonight. He says he has a proposal." P came in to the living room and handed Joker a letter, an invitation. Joker looked to me.

"Up to a little deal making tonight, Harl?"

"Always Puddin." He smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"I'll need you, P and T with me tonight so clear your schedules. " Joker examined the invitation. "Looks like were invited to a party."

I clapped my hands. "Ooh I love parties!"

"I know you do, Harley." I giggled and he stroked my cheek before kissing me again. "We have an hour, sweets. Better get ready."