Relationship Status. ON HOLD.

Sleepless Nights & Stressful Days

We didn't get that much sleep last night, it was to much for our minds to handle peacefully enough for us to get some rest. So after laying wide awake in bed I jumped up when I heard Karmen calling us from her room. "I got it DD." Is all Xavier said before walking out of the room to get our daughter. Who might not even be yours, my subconscious to reminded me making my heart clench.

I sighed and stood up out of the bed to get ready for the day, I didn't feel like trying so I didn't. I threw on a pair of Xavier's to big sweats and a t-shirt and slid on my huaraches then I sluggishly made my way to the kitchen. When I got there I didn't see Xavier or Karmen so I started making breakfast for us out of habit. It wasn't a surprise to me that they were still in her room whenever he went to get her they had special daddy daughter time, I didn't mind she needed it and so did he after the night we had.

After about twenty minutes or so I got worried and went to check on them, breakfast had been ready and I called it out but they still hadn't responded. I opened the lavender colored door to find them sitting in the rocking chair, Karmen looking sadly up at Xavier while he silently cried at whatever his phone said. I gasped aloud at the sight and tentatively made my way over to them, I took Karmen in my arms and lightly touched Xavier's shoulder. When I looked in his eyes he looked broken, as if his will to live had been taken from him and he didn't know what to do anymore. The sight made my chest tighten and knocked all the wind out of my body. He turned his phone screen towards me a I read what it said.

Xavier- is Karmen my daughter???

Tiny- wym?

Xavier- tf exactly what I said...is she mine or Bryan's?!?

Tiny- what do it matter....you love her regardless and Bryan don't lik kids.

Xavier- so she ain't mine?

Tiny- honestly I ain't gotta clue.

After reading their conversation I understood why Xavier was crying, his world had been taken from him practically and he didn't know what to do. "Dada crying momma." Karmen said sadly to me while never taking her eyes off of Xavier.

"Yea baby he is." Is all I knew to say back, s reached her chubby hand out towards Xavier and he took her back in his arms. She put her hand on his cheek and looked at him longingly.

"Why crying Dada?" She asked while looking up at him sadly. My heart was literally shattering into a million pieces as I watched their exchange. Xavier swallowed a lump in his throat and looked at me, what do I say he asked me wth his eyes. I just blinked I didn't know what he should tell her, how do you tell your two year old that y'all ain't her parents but in fact that woman she's afraid of is her mother.

"Somebody hurt my feelings baby that's all." He said as he kissed her forehead, she furrowed her brows like she was trying to understand something. Eventually she nodded at the answer Xavier provide for her and hugged him tightly. When Karmen pulled away she looked at him expectantly.

"All better?" She asked him, the hope radiating off her body in waves. Karmen had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, but I suppose that the way all babies are before the world taints them into think a certain way and feeling a certain way. A single tear slipped down Xavier's cheek but he smiled anyway and nodded, Karmen beamed at the fact of fixing him and looked up at me still smiling. I couldn't help but smile back at her even though I was broken inside, from the new curve ball life threw our way. "Eat eat pwease." Karmen asked me and I choked out a laughed as she hopped of Xavier's lap and walked out the room in the direction of the kitchen.

Xavier and I walked hand in hand into our kitchen to find Karmen straining to reach the sausage from her position of standing on a chair. I laughed lightly at the sight of her struggles and she turned around at me looking flustered. The only reason why she was struggling so much was because she took after Tinesha in the height department and we don't call her Tiny for the fun of it. I giggled and made my way over to where Karmen was struggling. "You gotta be patient sweetie." I said with a laugh as I made her a plate of food and put it in the table, she did a happy dance and began eating. "Did you say your grace young lady?" I asked knowing the answer was 'no'. She gave me an ashamed look and casted her gaze down at her plate of food. I watched as she then gathered her chubby hands together and closed her eyes, I knew she didn't know how to pray but the fact that she was trying and copied my move to let me know I was doing something right.