That following Sunday, I was terrified. Caspar never showed a trace of fear, but I knew he was nervous. He just didn't want to show me how terrified he felt.
/
"Baby...." He took my hand. "If this all ends badly, I want you to know I've always loved you."
"Caspar, it's going to be fine.." I gulped. "You're going to go to surgery tomorrow and they're going to get the tumor out. You're going to have a killer eye patch, and you'll still be able to see.. You'll be able to live your life."
"I hope you're right..." He covered his eyes. "I know I've been so positive, but damn... I'm scared."
"I know..." I laid my head on his bare chest as we cuddled in bed. "I'm scared, too. I don't want to lose you.."
"You're not going to lose me," Caspar sat up, holding me in his arms. "I'm going to make sure I'm around for many, many more years so I can annoy the hell out of you." He giggled.
I couldn't help but smile with him. The curl of his lips made mine crack a smile, and I blushed. "I've never been so happy to be annoyed."
/
"Baby..?" I woke up. "Baby, it's.. It's time."
Please say it's not.....
"Okay.." I reluctantly got up and dressed before taking Caspar to the hospital.
/
We waited in his hospital room, holding each other as we waited for Caspar to be taken to surgery.
"Joe... I'm going to lose my hair.. So..." He pointed to the razor he had in his room. "Can you...?"
"Yeah..." I helped Caspar out by shaving the hair from his head. He didn't have much left since he had been going through treatment. "There.." I handed him a mirror.
"Wow...." He whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I can't just sit here and let you get rid of your hair..." I handed him the razor.
"Are you sure?" Caspar took it and nearly cried.
"Yeah," I sat down. "Why should I have hair when my other half doesn't? And besides, it grows back." I smiled.
/
"Caspar?" The nurse came in. "Oh..." She saw our shaved heads. "You both shaved your heads... That's really sweet."
"Yeah.." I smiled at Caspar, taking his hand. "I guess it's time."
"I'm scared.." Caspar said, hugging me. "I need to tell you something before I go.."
"It can wait.. You'll be back."
"Just in case..." He handed me a letter. "If I... If I don't make it..."
"Don't talk like that.." I said, trying not to cry.
"There's a chance..... If I don't, I want you to read this. Only if I don't.... Okay?" He kissed me. "I love you so much.."
"I love you, too..." We hugged and I followed him and the nurse out of the hospital room after Caspar changed into his hospital gown.
/
"I'll see you when you come out.... I'll be right by you when you wake up..." I brushed his forehead.
"You better," He giggled.
/
I waited in the waiting room for several hours. I didn't go to sleep, as it was getting late, so I kept myself energized with caffeine.
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Blind ✹ Jaspar
FanficI lived with him for so long, but I never saw the signs he gave me. From wrapping his arm around me, to calling me cute..... It was right in front of me, but I didn't see it. I might as well be blind. Part 1 of 3 in the Jaspar series: 1. BLIND 2. Fo...