My inner demon.

Chapter 3 : No mercy. - Part one.

It's 1am and I totally don't feel like sleeping. My dark thoughts are overwhelming me. My heart's aching and my brain's burning. I attempt for the twentieth time to fall asleep and I miserably fail. My mind's figuring too many ways to kill ugh. Kadi won't stop suggesting me all the kinds of guns and weapons I could use. I groan, having enough of being taken over by all these demons.

" Honey there's only one demon inside you and it's me." I roll my eyes.

I'm currently in a sitting position, I pull my knees closer to my chest as I feel one tear running down my face. Kadi begins singing " Cry me a river " by Justin Timberlake which - I suppose - was to cheer me up but I just feel like she's making fun of me.

" I'd never make fun of you." She replicated.

" Don't lie Kadi. You're happy when I'm sad." 

" You are me. I am you. You aren't even my half or anything, without you I wouldn't be existing but without me you can exist." She grumbled. My attention suddenly is highly interested in what my little friend said.

" Could you sit next to me ? " I asked her.

I have that bizarre feeling I get whenever she comes out from me but not entirely because she can't, she's trapped inside me. She's all black but her eyes are white and we can see through her body her heart's red. Her nails are red as well. She constantly looks desperate, hopeless and begging for help. I could look her in the eye for hours but if I do I know what will happen.

" What now ? Are you gonna stare at me until the sun rises ? If so I don't feel like staying outside - sorry not sorry."

" You're beautiful Kadi."

" Stop saying shit Kendra." She dryly replied. I sigh. " May I look out the window ? " 

" No you can't - sorry not sorry." I mocked. She gives me a gaze that removes from me any desire to joke with her. " Of course." I weakly answered.

Her figure extends as she reaches the window. Butterflies start drawing inside her, a little bit of fair orange makes its way in all the black. I smirk, happy for her. All of a sudden she lets out a loud scream and goes back in me, causing me to hold my chest of pain. 

" What happened ? Fuck Kadi, you hurt me ! "

" I'm never going out again ! It's all your fault ! " I feel like a tree was thrown from a 511 meters tall skyscraper on my legs. I bite my sheets not to let out any sound that would wake up my mother. I'm not just crying a river, I'm crying an ocean and none's here to support me or to feel my grief.

" I am here." She said.

I rest my head on my pillow and sleep while I hear Kadi slapping herself.

" I hope she won't have sweet dreams. I hate sweet dreams. Have a good night my sweetie Kendra." Kadi murmured.

I wake up terrified. The visions I had during the night were terrible. I take a look at my phone, 8:30am. Oh fuck ! I jump of my bed and run to the bathroom.

" Mum ! " I tried to awake her.

" What ? " She yelled from her bedroom.

" Time's up ! At least I tried my best ! "

" Oh Kendra c'mon ! I'm gonna take your phone every night for real if you keep being late ! " She threatened. If, she knew the actual reasons...

" Sorry mummy ! "

I get ready as fast as possible. Most important is appearance.

" What the fuck, no most important is eating and not having dark circles under the eyes ! " Kadi corrected.

I brush my teeth for the third time and go grab a banana. My mother's been waiting next to the door for five minutes at least. How does she do that ? Man, I can't even brush my hair in less than five minutes !

She drops me to school and I mentally prepare myself to see all these idiots. To see him. 

" And to see that bitch and strangle her in front of everyone - "

" Calm yourself Kadi."

They probably think the whole thing's right when it's all lies. Okay, I shouldn't piss myself off on my own before they even do it. I make sure my mum's far away from the entry's gate and take off my trousers so now I'm in shorts with ripped tights under them. I keep my dark leather jacket. 

I must report my tardiness first and I can go to class then. That's what I do and I really don't want to join my physics class. I loudly huff when I arrive and knock on the door.

" Come in ! " Mr Drock allowed. When I open the door, a giant hubbub starts growing. " Be quiet please ! Good morning Miss Rogs."

" Good morning sir. Sorry for being late." I show him I already signaled my lateness.

" Fine. You can go to your seat." 

Even my seatmate - Henry - is regarding me awkwardly. I fake a smile at him but he barely notices it, too busy checking out my outfit.

" Son of a bitch." Kadi spoke.

Everyone's staring at me, I feel uncomfortable.

" How did she dare ? She's definitely dead." My inner me talked.

" Yes, she is." I thought.

 When class is over, I find them all waiting for me. Many insults are murmured, some are said out loud. I keep a straight face, they must see no feeling from me. Ellie is walking towards me, a nasty smirk on her face.

" How are you, whore ? Or should I say Ms Lusso ? I decided to reveal your relationship with Jordan since you weren't brave enough to do it yourself. Also, all your insults said on the back of everyone, fortunately auntie Ellie's present to make them open their eyes."

" Stop this shit Ellie. You know what you're doing is wrong." Jordan replicated. I'm happy he's sticking for me. He's stupid but knows which side to be with.

" Look how cute these two are ! Defending each other ! Aw ! " She mocked. Jordan was about to say something else but I make him shut up. 

People got reminded they have a life so everyone goes back to their thing.

" Don't worry she'll pay." I whispered in Jordan's ear.

" You're gonna kill her, aren't you ? " He weakly asked. I don't have courage to lie to him so I don't answer. " Kendra tell me your plans, I'm not gonna cope with your murders for long I already feel guilty about Lana's death and now - "

" Shhh! Shut the fuck up or someone will hear you ! " I ordered. He points a finger at me.

" You ain't only crazy, you're a liar, you're fake and a murderer."

" You don't even knowledge my story. So mind your fucking business and I told you were free that night but you wanted to watch the whole scene. You can blame none but yourself." Determined to have the last word, I leave him by himself.

I go out to the school ground. I notice near the gym Ellie talking with a boy. I reach for Sarah and hug her.

" Who's that guy Ellie's with ? " I questioned.

" It's Brad, she obviously has a crush on him, why ? "

" Never mind."

" I'm sorry for what happened, she's such a useless person." My friend mumbled.

" I don't have time for her shit." Sarah and I begin chuckling.

During German class, I take a sheet of paper and write on it : " My dear Ellie, I thought about us and think we should meet in front of the abandoned firm, you know the one next to the Monnerie Hotel. Looking forward to seeing you! Got a surprise ;) xx Brad." 

I will sneak it in her locker. I hope she won't have any doubt and will come.

" Oh my goodness, I love this ! Yes, baby looking forward for this meeting too." Kadi laughs weirdly like whenever we make plans.

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