Cycle

It’s a Cycle

            It’s a cycle. Everything is a cycle, but you know what the most repeated cycle is? It’s love. You fall in love, there are promises and words such as forever, then all of a sudden things get distant, there’s a falling out and your heart is left in pieces. The worst part is the aftermath, when you have to tell other people you’re no longer together and you spend sleepless nights crying over your broken heart--

               I climb out of the car saying bye to my mom. I start to climb the stairs up to my school, its cold so my hands are in my pockets of my coat. I sigh, another long day at school. I climb up stair after stair until I reach the third floor; I look up and see him sitting by a bench right in front of the entrance to the third floor. My heart does a little jump and I try to smile at him, but he just looks at me for a second and then looks away. My heart plummeted a little, it’s like we’re not even dating...no Kathy just says he’s shy, that’s probably why... I go over to my locker, grab textbooks, homework and look in the mirror, maybe to catch a glimpse of him, but he’s not there anymore. I sigh and slam my locker shut; I go through a different stairwell and see him talking to someone else. My heart longs for wanting a proper conversation like that, but I can’t. He just sort of brushes by me in the hallways and gives a forced sort of smile. Does he not like me anymore?

            Matt says he confused and I say I am as well... What now?

            I text him and ask if we could talk, he replies almost right away saying yes. I ask him a few questions and he answers asking the same back to me. I sort of feel like I’m talking to a robot; then I ask him if he still wants to go out with me, he replies I don’t know, you? My heart died a little, he doesn’t know. I told him yes, but if he doesn’t I can’t really do anything about it.

I wait...

And wait...

I fall asleep crying...

Thinking about him...

Thinking that no reply means that he doesn’t like me anymore...

I wake up...

Check my phone...

Still no reply...

I wait...

And wait...

I cry...

No reply...

Still crying...

No reply...

He doesn’t like me...

No reply...

No reply means he’s done...

No reply...

I still cry...

My heart breaking and twisting...

It shatters...

And still no reply...

I gave my heart to the wrong guy...

I think I’ll never fall in love again...

Time goes by...

And the cycle starts all over again...