"I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl"
I was always the girl behing the scenes, behind the curtains,…behind everything! Never akong nag-seek or nag-wish for attention sa kahit na kanino. I was contented in the shadow where I am invinsible. Pero dahil sa kanya, I became center of attention.
"I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry"
I have always accepted things with open arms. Mapasama o maganda pa yan, naging kuntento ako. Kung anong binigay sa’kin, edi yun na yun. Dati akala ko okay na ang manatili ako sa lupa. Kung yung iba laging nangangarap at naghahanap ng mas mataas pa sa nakuha nila, ako naman, satisfied na sa kung anong meron ako. Pero dahil sa kanya, I yearned for more.
"This is
Surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say"
Kahit kalian, di ko nagawang ikumpara ang saril ko sa ibang tao. Kung may nakita akong flaws sa sarili ko, naiisip ko na lang, lahat ng tao, di pare-pareho. Hindi tayo parehas ng mga capabilities. What you might fail in, others could be better. And vice versa. Kaya naman hindi ako na-disappoint kapag natatalo ako. Wala eh. Ganun talaga. I just have to accept the fact na hindi talaga ako magaling sa lahat ng bagay. Pero dahil sa kanya, I strived to be better.
"Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said 'speak now' "
Alam nyo, ako? Playing safe lagi. Lagi lang sa middle kumbaga. Ayaw ko kasing maging pinakamataas kasi nakaka-pressure, di ko yung kakayanin. Pero, ayaw ko din naman sa pinakamababa kasi makakawawa naman ako. I never took risks. Kasi naman, sa risk, there are only two options, it’s either you succeed or fail. Ayoko na hindi ko alam sa simula pa lang ang kalalabasan ng gagawin ko. Kaya lagi lang akong playing safe. Pero dahil sa kanya, I learned to take risks.
"Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a deathmarch
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited
By your lovely bride-to-be"
Believe it or not. I had always been afraid of what people think. Kaya nga ayaw ko sa atensyon di ‘ba? Kasi ayaw ko sa gossips and rumors. Even if I may seem a nobody, may malinis naman akong reputasyon. Ang unang impression sa’kin ng lahat ay ang good girl and studious student. Yung hindi napapahamak dahil sa kalokohan? I was never that girl. Takot kasi ako sa iisipin ng iba kaya I wore a mask. Pero dahil sa kanya, I learned to live without my mask.
