In The Lights

Chapter 22

Saturday Morning  

I groaned as my vision came into focus with the burning light of the sun shining through my curtains. I turned over slowly and was greeted with a large tattoo across a pale chest. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face, pressing a gentle kiss to Colson's chest. He grumbled something under his breath and tightened his arms around me. His eyes fluttered, quickly looking down at me and filling with happiness. 

"Good morning, beautiful," Colson pressed a kiss to my forehead and I gently ran my fingertips lightly across his torso. 

"Good morning," I smiled and snuggled closer to him. I wanted stay like this all day... Forever even. But I knew I couldn't do that. 

"I love you... You know that?" He chuckled and placed his cold hand on my cheek and kissing the tip of my nose. I nodded. I did know that, and especially after last night, I knew I felt the same way. Now the only problem was Austin. Now, I could just easily break up with him and run back to Colson. But, there were many downfalls to that. For 1, his birthday was today and I didn't want to be known as a completely heartless bitch. 2, we just came out as a couple... How would that look to the paparazzi? If we just came out as a couple and then broke up because I decided to get back with my ex. And 3, I think I may be falling for him... 

"I wish we could stay here forever," Colson whispered, bringing me out of my thoughts. I have no idea how long he had been talking or what he was talking about, but in all honesty I didn't care. 

"Me too," I whispered. After a few more minutes of laying down we both sat up and I took the covers with me, keeping it wrapped around my body to keep warm. 

"So where do we go from here?" He linked our fingers together and pressed a kiss to the outside of my hand, glancing up at me. 

"Colson... Austin," He nodded slowly before gently releasing my hand. He turned around and pulled on his underwear before laying back and resting his head on the pillows. "I love you, but-" 

"You love him more?" The icy blue eyes I had grown to love looked up at me with all the hurt in the world as they watered up. 

"No, I don't... I-I do..." I sighed. "I don't know." My head fell in shame. It wasn't a question of who did I love... It was who did I love more? 

"Then what? What's the problem!?" Colson suddenly exclaimed, jumping up off the bed.  

"Colson, I-" 

"No, Hayden! Am I not good enough for you? Not famous enough? Not rich enough? Too old? What? What is it? Why don't you want to be with me? Huh?" I felt tears fall from my eyes as he said those words. They hurt more than anything I had ever heard before. But none of them were true. 

"It's because I'm scared, Colson, okay?" I blurted out the words before he could yell any more. We both breathed heavily. He curled his eyebrows in confusion. 

"I'm scared that this will end up just like my last relationship... With me broken and nowhere near the person I once was." It was quiet for a few seconds as we both processed what I had just said. 

"You think I'm gonna end up like Anthony..." That name went straight to my heart. I hung my head in shame once more and let the tears pour. I felt the weight on the bed shift as Colson sat beside me and draped his arm around my waist. 

"I told you once and I'll tell you again... I get mad sometimes, angry and hurt even... But I will never be sick... I will never be him." He tilted my chin up and pressed our foreheads together. "Do you hear me? I love you." I couldn't help but smile.