The Pendant

 

The pendant

By Yamilet Otero

 

                Her expression was wanly, almost ghastly and the purple rings under her eyes kept my own eyes drifting on hers. There wasn’t much I could do. At this point my presence had to be enough. Or so I thought…

                The dim light that gave clarity to the living room where the black, closed casket stood in the middle of the room, kept flickering every couple of minutes, threatening to spread darkness around the already grim ambiance. My gaze followed the flicker every time it happened, making me more oblivious to what was really going on. I shifted in my seat, trying to shake the coolness of the room away. Kelly kept her gaze on the floor but still held my hand, while her mother took possession of the trembling one. Dry sobs came from within her while her mother patted her back, wishing someone could comfort her as well. I took a quick glance around the room, making the moment go slower. Everyone was in their respective seats, glooming over their own space, too into their own thoughts to take a step forward. What would I do if I were in their shoes? Run scared out of the place? Or…?

-  Liya? – the mention of the short version of my name brought me out of my thoughts. Kelly turned toward me and took a deep breath. I decided then and there, that her pain went farther than any I had ever known.

- You okay? – Stupid question. As soon as it had come out of my mouth I wanted to punch myself. It became very real, the fact that I had no idea how to act in this situation.

- Will you go with me? – Hell no!, I screamed in my head. It was bad enough that I didn’t know how to handle the moment but I was very clear about not wanting to see him… I looked around me, trying to shake the horrified expression I knew I had on my face, and turned back to her begging eyes. I nodded even though my entire being was screaming for me to stay put.

                She grabbed my hand and stood up. Everyone else raised their heads toward us, actually surprised to see us walking toward the casket. Kelly’s mom whispered something at her she shook off and made her sit back down in her own chair. I could’ve sword the walk was long and slow, but I found myself looking intently at the solid material of the casket, wishing it would stay that way.

- I want to see him – she whispered to a man in behind it, facing us. He made no comment and nodded. As soon as the casket was opened, I knew it was better if I had followed my instinct.

                His face was unrecognizable, few strands of blonde soft hair remained on his head… His lips were perfect. It was weird that it appeared to remain untouched, unaffected by the accident but there they were. I felt idiotic focusing on a dead guy’s lips, especially a total disfigured dude and to top it all, he was my best friend’s older brother. Once again, I wanted to punch myself.

                Kelly’s whimpering and sobbing by my side brought me back to her side. I placed my hand around her shoulders and pulled her closer, forcing her head to fall on the gap between my neck and shoulder. She grabbed me hard and pushed her face against my black tank top, like she wanted to erase the image off her head. I knew she was smart, that in order to move on she couldn’t jump to accepting grief and loss without going through depression. I was never a soft, cry at chick flick kind of person but right now, tears slipped by for my friend’s pain and suffering.

                The light flickered once more but this time my attention remained on Kelly.