darkness inside

Running…..running is all it took to be free. I ran as fast as I could, but it wasn’t enough.  I wasn’t fast enough.  From out the corner of my eye, I could see him.  He was gaining on me.  I knew I had to get away, but…. I just couldn’t.  The forest was dark and all the sounds seemed to disappear, all I could hear was my heavy breathing and the thumping of my heart.  Twigs snapped under my feet, and every step I took seemed to echo.  I could see a river.  That’s it!  That’s what I need!  I knew that if I followed the river it would help me get away, but my foot…..it got caught on something and I fell.  I saw the ground rush towards me and I dived head first into a rock, I tasted the iron that flooded my mouth as I lay on the ground.  W-why….. I worked so hard….. And with that I let the darkness over come me.

It seemed like yesterday when I ran away….from everything.  Now I am back where I started.  I guess its time for me to wake up and face my sins……but I couldn’t wake up.  I was surrounded by darkness….it seemed to engulfed me in death. I screamed and shouted “Where am I?!  Why am I here?”  I dropped to the cold, lonely ground. I shuddered and hugged my knees.  And eventually I got up and walked…walked on and into the darkness.

It seemed like days since I last seen the sun…nor an actual living person, till finally I heard something….. I heard someone crying.  Unafraid I began walking towards the sound.  It was not long before I came upon a girl. She was about 11 years old, she had jet black hair and her skin was pale, she was wearing a black robe.  She was crouched on her hands and knees crying.  I walked closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.  “Are you okay?” I asked. The girl turned and looked at me and said in a shaky voice “I-it was my fault….. I should have listened.  I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED!”  The girl began to slam her fist on the ground…. I could hear the bones in her fist begin to break.  I grabbed her hand before she could do anymore damage and she began to cry some more.  She wiped her nose and asked “Have you ever destroyed the most precious thing in your life?” 

And with that she began to cry blood. Her face became dislocated and started to melt off. Her teeth started to show and her eyes started to drop out of her eye sockets. Blood formed in a big puddle around her feet. She looked at me with an empty face. All that was left of her was a skeleton. Her body laid on the ground and turned to ashes. In the middle of the ashes were some tiny bones and a note. I picked up the note and unfolded it. It read:  Wash away my sins and hold me again. I looked back at where the girl’s ashes were and saw that she and the bones were gone.  Did I just imagine all of that? With confusion written across my face I began to walk, looking for a way out of this never ending darkness.

Hours after my encounter with the girl, I came upon another girl she had the same pail skin and jet black hair as the other girl; she even had the same clothes. The only difference was that this girl looked slightly older.  She looked like she was about 12.  I walked up to her and she screamed “WHY IS EVERYTHING MY FUALT!” anger flickered across her face.  She stood there looking at me with hate in her eyes.  She looked as if she was waiting for something to happen. I asked “What’s wrong?”

“Have you ever been betrayed…….then sent away?”  Her voice had softened and tears began to fall down her face.  She wiped her eyes and looked at me once more and said “No you probably have not.  I know things happen for a reason, but why did it have to happen this way? I trust too many people and they have all hurt me.  I guess it really is all my fault…….”  I saw the pain in her eyes.  Finally she began to fade.  Her body disappeared till all that was left in her place was a note.  It read:  Like fire, one little thing is nothing.  The confusion I have been holding inside of me since I first found my self in the darkness had disintegrated, and was replaced with anger.  “WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FROM ME?  WHY AM I HERE?!”  I crumpled up the note and let it fall to the ground and I started running. Why me? Why ……me?