Like Looking in a Mirror

Chapter One (Part One)

I sat behind the counter at the book store waiting for somebody to come to the counter to buy a book. I've worked here for three years and this is probably the worst year. Nobody ever comes in now with all the electronic devices they can afford. I wish I was able to afford anything I want. But with a job that hardly pays and nobody hiring around the city, I'm screwed.

"Would you stop already! I'm at the stupid book store. What the hell do you need again?" a guy seethed. His outburst really scared me since I wasn't expecting it, "Yeah I'll make sure I get it to you later today. Bye." the guy pocketed his phone and looked around the store. He looked lost so I had to go help.

"Excuse me sir, do you need any help?" the blond guy turned around and looked me up and down almost disapproving me.

"Yes. Where can I find romance books?" he asked sounding pissed.

"Right this way." I lightly smiled. He followed me to the back of the store, "Any particular reason you need a romance book?" I asked trying to make a conversation. It gets pretty boring when you're here by yourself every day.

"Why does it matter to you?" he spit. I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around and faced him.

"I'm trying to be nice since you're clearly in a pissy mood. I suggest you keep your nasty comments to yourself and be nice while I help a costumer." I said angrily.

"How is a low life girl who has to work at a book store going to be nice to somebody like me? You've gotta be part crazy." he smirked. I grew beyond furious.

"Get out of my store." I pointed to the door.

"Wow, threatening." he teased.

"Get out of my store or I'll kick your ass myself, you dick." I spit.

"Fine, looks like you aren't getting paid today." with that he walked out of the store. I've never seen somebody act so rude before.

----

I walked home after closing the store up early. It was clear that nobody was going to come in so might as well just take the rest of the day to myself. Or what's left of it. I made my way to the small diner down the street. I haven't eaten since seven this morning and I was dying. The diner came into view and I smiled. The only place where I actually feel safe. I went to open the door but somebody beat me to it hitting me with the door.

"What the hell?" I hissed holding my nose.

"Watch where you're going!" the guy yelled. It was the same guy from earlier today.

"Be nice you arse. Are you okay Love?" a guy asked taking my wrist.

"Don't fucking touch me." I seethed.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." the hazel eyed guy freaked.

"Well get your dumbass buddy to act normal and not like a complete asshole." I stormed into the diner pushing the guys out of my way.

"Andrea, are you alright?" Debby, the diner owner, asked when I went to the counter you can sit at.

"Yeah, I just need some ice for my nose." I said. I wanted to cry but I was too pissed. Nothing is ever easy for me.

----

I walked in the run down, empty home. It was an old apartment building that only a very small half hand full of people lived in. Needless to say my apartment has no heat, air conditioning, but luckily running water. My old worn out mattress lays on the floor with no pillow and a thin blanket. My 'dresser' is my suit case that I take with me when I ditch places. I own one pair of shoes, three pairs of jeans, and a few shirts. With Debby's help, I'm able to get new clothes every couple months.

I don't remember being brought into the world with this bad of a life. I vaguely remember seeing smiling faces and laying in a soft bed. I remember seeing a woman that looks like me putting flour on my nose while I stole cookie dough. That same woman looks at me every day through the dirty mirror in my bathroom. The only difference is I have blue hair. I remember seeing a handsome man give affectionate hugs to the woman and kisses, I would get hugs and piggy back rides. I also remember seeing a guy younger than the man but older than me. He looked like the man.

But all of that seems like it never actually happened. Like I dreamed this perfect scenario in my head in my restless sleeps. The perfect scenario of a, a family. All my life I grew up in an orphanage. That's all my life was. Wake up, get ready, go to school, go back to the orphanage, go to sleep, and the process all over again. My life has been destroyed from the start. I've been on my own since I was sixteen, I didn't know how to apply for a job, I didn't know how to manage the minimal money I did have and still only make half of what I started with. But my nights were spent in the diner, eating small meals. Thankfully I met Debby. She's like a mother. The only real memory I have of a mother is Debby.

I tore my gaze from the mirror only making myself dread my life more. I stripped down for my nightly cold shower. My blue hair color coming out each time I wash my hair, little by little. Takin a cold shower helped me clear my thoughts from the day. The ass I ran into vanished when I stepped in the shower, my money problems gone for the five minutes. But when I'm done, my issues are still there.

I feel like I'm being dragged deeper and deeper into a black hole of nothing. But I don't want my life to be nothing! I wanna be known! I wanna be somebody's role model! I wanna hear my name! I wanna see my name on billboards! I wanna be heard. I wanna be seen. I. Want. A. Life.

Having my mind on over drive, I go to bed only to not sleep and dread the next day. I go to bed with the same wish every night, only to wake up and not have what I wished for. I whisper to myself every night while I look out at the stars and moon:

"I want to know what life is like having money and loved ones."