"Things That Put Me Off Fanfiction" Competition Entry (@tashbumblebee)

Competition entry...

Hi their! Let me introduce myself i am Taylor Sparkle and I have green eyes that are like emerelds and diamonds and sapphires.
I usually wear my favourite high heels and skinny jeans to cover my thin tanned legs. And my skinny stomerk shows cuz of my purple glittery crop top. It's amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My parents died when I was only about 1 year old cuz this man called Voldemort's killed them with sorcery and I was left with a red hashtag on my forehead underneath my beautiful blonde hair that has purple steaks in it but I don't let it put me down I'm still really nice to everyone although my life is a missery.

I live with my aunt and uncle and fat cousin who tells me to get him food every day. But I say no, because I am a girl who knows how to stick up for herself because I am good.

They abuse me teribly and I have to live in a small bathroom under the stares. One day wee were at a weird castle thing and a really big man broke down the door and I screemed. But then I didn't screem because I am good. He said follow me into his car thing and it was like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car. "Do you knoe that film" I said and he said it was his favourite. His accent was a bit Indian and a bit Italian all at the same time.
My cousin just died there on the floor because he was so scared and I looked so cool in the car with a big troll thing.

Ohh yeah it was ma 11th birthday too so HAPY BIRTHDAY MEEEEE!!!!!!!

When we got to the train station he ordered whiskey and sat down. "You are the Girl Who Livd" he told me .
"Yay!" I said. This was so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!

He gave me about 50 pounds in a tesco bag (ugh he's so poor lol) and told me to go to platform 9 3/4. I told him bye and walked off. Because I am good, I found it immediately and everyone stares at me cuz of my hair and skinny waiste.
I saw this hideous red head who looked morbidly obeese and he stared at me too. I could see a six pack underneath all the flab tho.

After some of her many thousands of kids ran into a brick wal and disappeared I nae-nae'd through the wall and everyone clapped. But I didn't bow because I am really good and modest.

I sat on a train with this slut called Hermonime or something. Her skirt was like an inch long or something. In
fact I don't think she was even waering a skirt. Dirty tramp, right????????

She handed me a big pile of books that all looked reely boring. "Read thise or you won't be cleaver like me." I knocked her out with the books and rolled her like a carpet out of my train stall thing. She was so annoying. Then that red kid came in. "Do you mind? No-one else wants me to sit with them." He offered me a sweet. I ate it then shoved him out. Hahahahah!

But then oh my gosh this guy came in and sat down whilst flicking his gorgeous hair. "Hey there. I'm Draco Melfoy."
"I'm Taylor Sparkle. But you can call me Tay-Tay if ya want."
"Kay then. All the other people on here are idiots. -My father will hear about them."
"Omg Draco ur so brave"
So we kissed and we're just about to have sex when we arrived at Hogwerts school for butterbeer and sorcery.
I could tell I was going to be a reely good witch because I am really good anyway.

We got off and sailed in boats to the huge castle. I stood next to Dracey and everyone was whispering about me being the Girl Who Lived. I blushed. This was so cool!!!!!!
Because it was so dark this kid called Neville's moderutely small jumpy reptile of some sort escaped and burnt himself in the lanterns so we had no light. Boooooo! Then my hands started to glow with magicness and I lit the way and everyone said wow and Mrs  Magonnagal said I was a really good witsch.

But as we started approaching the land,   dark clouds started to gather above the castle and Magonnagal fainted and fell into the water and diyed.

All of us kids ran into the castle. I reached the castle first because I'm realy fast and always win at races. I look up and remain calm like a cool street girl. Loads of Death Eaters were destroying the place. Oh no!!!!
All the stone walls were being breaked by their evil sorcery and they were laughing as they cartwheeled and killed peeple. Dracey dives in front of me to block a curse from a really meen death eater.
He died and said he loved me. "I love you too!" I cried whilst being really sad. And I cried for about 5 minutes before I stood up and cast the biggest spell Hogwerts has ever seen and it could give Dumblerder a run for his money.

It was like a huge lightbulb that was sparkling just like my name- Taylor Sparkle!!! LOL!!!!!!

And the big spel zoomed around and mashed all of the death eaters. Phew!
"You evil little cockroaches!" I shouted as they died. I was good at making up insults.

Everyone crowded round me and cheered. "Go Taylor! Ur so awesome!" "Oh stop it" I said and giggled cutely. Then I saw Ron and I noticed his six pack again. But as I looked more closely, I noticed an eight pack there too. Omg! I love him so much! He's so handsome! We'll be together forevr I just know it!!!!!!!!

Dumblrdore appeared suddenly in front of us ad clapped and said "I will make a new house for you because you are a reely good witch and it will be called Champiarts. It will be so excsiting!!! Well have lemon drops to celebrate because they are secretly my favourite you know. -Well done Tay-Tay!" He grinned from ear to ear and it was a bit scary.
Then me and Ron kissed and has sex and Hernomine was really jelus so she cried and Neville laughed.

The end

@tashbumblebee