August 30th 8:23 P.M.
Well, today is my birthday. I’m finally 16. Everyone I know seems to be all excited for their sweet sixteen parties and getting to drive and thinking that they have more freedom now. I know what 16 really means. In my family, 16 means you start pulling your own weight even more. You get a job, work as many hours as you can, and pitch in to pay for food and bills and clothes. For my birthday, I got this journal and a new pen, one that actually writes and doesn’t have chew marks on it. I refuse to call this a diary. Diaries are for ten year old girls who write about what they think is their first crush and how hard being a kid is. I would like to go back to my ten year old self and tell her that she isn’t even close to the hard stuff.
I have always known we are poor. It’s not exactly a secret. We live in a small house with only three bedrooms. Its falling apart, the plumbing works only when it feels like it, and the electricity got turned off yesterday because we couldn’t cover the bill yet. Honestly, I don’t complain. It’s what I’m used to. No one asked for this to happen to us, but none of us are really upset about it. Well, maybe my mom is, but when she has to take care of six kids all on her own, you can see why she would be upset. We pitch in as much as we can, but there is only so much we can help with. Chores get done, younger kids get fed, we don’t talk back, and we follow the few rules that she has.
Kids at school are always complaining about not being able to get the new iPhone, or how upset they are because their parents made them do the dishes one night. I would kill for those to be my only problems in the world, but like I said, I’m not complaining.
Let’s discuss the family. At the top we have my mother, our rock, our best friend, and the only one who really loves us. She’s a larger women, though not because she eats too much (she actually doesn’t eat much at all since she gives all the food to us), but because it’s her genetics. She is kind, always ready to help others even when she needs the help more than they do. Sometimes that gets her in trouble, but she doesn’t care. She does what she can. Then there is my father, who we don’t talk about much because he is the reason for our problems. He left when I was nine, running off with some younger chick that he cheated on mom with. They live somewhere in Florida now in a nice beach house paid for by the girl’s rich daddy. Mom doesn’t like us asking much about him, so we don’t, though we all know he is the reason we are poor. Even when he was here, we were barely getting by, but once he left and took the income from his job with him, things just went downhill from there.
Next, the kids. I’m a middle child, the third oldest. There are six of us: my older sister, Kendall (19, beautiful though she doesn’t show it much, and kind of like another mother to the rest of us), the second kid, my older brother, Ian (17, always looking like a mess but somehow attracted a lot of the girls at school including my few friends, and always gone somewhere, usually taking a walk of upstairs listening to music from the kid next door), then there is me, Elliot, well Eleanor to be exact, but that name makes me feel like an old woman, so I go by Elliot, (16, beautiful, kind, funny, smart, and that’s just getting started, what can I say, I’m a prize). Next is my younger brother, Tanner (13), my younger sister, Bailey (11), and the youngest, little Luka (8). Though there are a lot of us, we all tend to get along kind of well… Sometimes. Kendall and I fight a lot, but what sisters don’t, and Tanner tends to get on my nerves, but the others are alright. I have a feeling Bailey is going to be a terror when she grows a bit older though. We will just have to wait and see I guess.
I didn't tell anyone this, but there is something else I wanted for my birthday. I want to figure out what I want to do with my life. Kendall knows she wants to work with animals and Ian knows he wants to do something with music, but I'm sort of just stuck. I want to know what I want with life, and I know that won't come easily, but wishes usually don't, I guess.
Well, that’s all I have to say today. Mom is calling me down for cake, something I told her not to waste our money on, but she bought anyway. I promise I’ll write again later, or maybe tomorrow. Goodbye!
~Elliot Matthews
