I have to see my best friends.
That was the only thing that was on my mind while I was walking on the hallways after my classes. I focused on my studies and devoted my whole life to my family and friends. I never bothered with having a crush in the room, never had a relationship before despite being almost eighteen years old.
I know that it's uncommon among people my age in this generation to have little to absolutely no experience in relationships, but I never let peer pressure get to me.
I was just raised differently. Born in a different culture, raised by conservative and strict parents.
I always denied any feelings that I develop towards anyone.
I always scold myself not to feel anything for anyone that goes beyond the boundary of friendship.
I've never fallen in love.
Believe me or not, but I am stating a fact. I have never ever fallen in love before.
I am always the one who knows the solution to other people's problems. I am always the one who offers my shoulder to cry on. I am always the one giving other people advise despite having no experience- despite never having fallen in love. Until I met my best friends. I may not have any problems regarding my non-existent love life, but I do have a life. I've got problems on my own.
I've lost friends.
I've lost family.
I could blame all the romance novels that I've read in my life for being a hopeless romantic. It gave me higher standards in terms of men. But perfect boys only exist in books.
__________
I was looking for one of my best friends in her classroom while I was outside. Her class had just started while mine had just ended. I peeked on the glass windows- trying to be inconspicuous.
But then I noticed this guy. He was quite attractive. I took note of his face, planning to set him up with my other best friend. He seemed about her type.
My plot to set him up with my other best friend failed as to her not being attracted to this guy enough as I pointed him out. He was attractive, but not exactly her type. Besides, my best friend had someone else on her mind.
At first, that was it. But then I started noticing him more.
I saw him at the student lounge as I was eating lunch with my classmates. He was sitting on the table beside ours. He was laughing along his classmates about a joke as I stared at him from my seat.
What a waste.
That was what I was thinking as I observed that he was the only boy in the group. The rest were girls.
He's very attractive, but I guess that we are attracted to the same sex.
I find that I was quite disappointed at my newfound discovery. But I just brushed it out of my mind.
He had nothing to do with me.
The following day, I entered one of my best friend's classroom during their vacant period.
We were just enjoying each other's company. Sitting beside each other, taking turns in talking about our day. But I felt his gaze upon me.
I stared back at him, thinking of a reason why he had his eyes on me. A lot came to my mind but none were certain.
Was it because I was an outsider?
Was it because I was wearing a
different set of clothes that day?
Was it because I was different?
None of it mattered when he smiled at me. His genuine smile made my heart flutter. I didn't know what to do so I just did the most logical thing for me to do.
I smiled back.
As soon as I smiled back, he looked away and proceeded to whatever he was doing.
"What's his name?" I asked one of my best friends.
I inconspicuously pointed towards the guy.
She told me his name then asked me why.
Why, indeed.
Why was I curious about his name? Why did I think that it was such a waste for him to be swinging on the other side? Was I attracted to him?
Maybe.
All I know is that his smile captured my attention.
It was captivating and left me speechless.
Maybe it also managed to capture my heart.
_________________
xSophiax
