stressed, depressed, and meme-obsessed

[1] The First Day

{August 17}

Eric POV

"If I ever think an egg rolling around on a table is cute, put a bullet in my head. Put a fucking bullet in my head."

Watchin' iDubbbz, what's fuckin' up boyz. It's Wednes- OH FUCK. SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW. Fuck. FUCK. FUCKING SHIT I'M NOT READY YET I'M--

Breathe, Eric.

Breathe.

Ok, it's all good. Just calm the fuck down, Eric. It's not the end of the world. You're going to see your friends again and you're going to like it, you introverted piece of shit. Maybe you'll like some of your classes too. Honors World History sounds like fun (ya fukin right boi).. right?

Anyway. I don't really need anything for school tomorrow since it's the first day sooo sleep it is. Might as well since I don't have much of a life anyway.

-Fast forward-

{August 18}

[6:30 A.M.; Eric's house]

BEEEEP BEEEEP

Oh for fuck's sake, I think to myself as I slam the alarm clock. Woohooo, first day of hell.

..Well, the hell that exists outside of band.

I get my lazy ass up and get ready, yadda yadda yadda, let's just get this over with.

-Fast Forward, again-

[7:55 A.M.; School]

Aw hell yeah, love starting off every day with band. At least I don't have to spend it with the freshmen.. Thank God. No Carson.

"Okay it's the first day, so let's make it good, everyone. No attitudes- none of that. I'm in a good mood, and we have practice later. Let's make it last until then, okay?" Mr. Moore addressed the class as soon as the bell rang.

We played the show music and discussed what we were going to go over at practice. After 46 surprisingly bearable minutes passed, Nick came up to me and we caught up.

"Hey, what's your next class?" He asked.

"Oh uh.." I had to check my schedule again. "..Honors English with.. Sohal?" I think that's how you say her name.

"Ew. Okay dude, see ya later." Aaand close scene. Off to English.

As I was walking to second period I saw Bar going the same direction, so I walked up to her.

"Yo, do you have Sohal now too?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah I think so," she said and checked her schedule, "Yup, I do."

"Oh cool, we have two classes together then." Okay, good. It's good you shut up before you embarrassed yourself somehow, idiot.

"Oh, so uh, nice weather today, huh?" Fuck. What. Why. Just why was that necessary. I'm not even nervous around her. What the fuck, Eric. She's chill.

"Um.. yeah, I guess so." She's judging me. She's totally judging me. I swear I'm not a spaz.

We finally get to second period and sat in our seats according to the seating chart. As I sit down, I see a boy with curly hair come inside and look at the seating chart. He turns around to walk in my direction and..

Oh. Oh. Well, hello. Oh no, he's looking at me. Shit.

As this unnecessarily attractive boy approaches the seat to the corner of mine, he sits so that he's facing me. He stares right at me for a few seconds before opening his mouth.

"Hi, I'm Zach." He says before smiling. Fuck, I thought. He's got a nice smile.

"Hey," I need a moment to form actual words because damn, "I'm, uh, Eric." Strike one.

I embarrass myself and Zach just smiles more. "Nice to meet you, uh, Eric." Damn it. Now my face is getting red. Strike two. Why is this already so complicated.

Luckily the class started soon after my awkward first encounter, so I couldn't embarrass myself further. We went over the class, got the syllabus, blah blah blah. I'm low-key in agony because of this stupidly cute boy sitting so close to me.

Come on Eric, you have a boyfriend, I think to myself. I probably wouldn't want him to look at other people.. Then again, it's not like I'm actually cheating on him or anything. There's nothing wrong with a little eye candy, right?

Sure. That'll make this class more bearable in the least.

The period went by quicker than I thought it would, and as I'm putting my stuff away, Zach comes up to me again. "So I'll see you around.. uh, Eric." And with that, he winked at me and went out the door. He fucking winked. That's strike three.

God, this day is already like a ball game in the ninth inning. And it isn't even 10 A.M.

-Fast Forward-

[4:45 P.M.; Band Room]

Well, school went by fast since it's a Thursday. But then there's band practice.. Ugh. I can never get a break from it, can I. I'm still kinda fucked up from meeting Zach earlier and just.. Ugh. I'll just deal with today by showing Nick shitty memes.

We end up working on drill for the most part, and soon we have our first break. I go to where the flutes spend their break because they're the only ones that won't yell at me to go away.

Oh yeah, and because they're my friends.

I showed Nick shitty memes as planned, but it's not working as well as I'd hoped. I can't get Zach out of my head. His perfectly curled hair, his gorgeous smile, the way he winked at me..

He's all I've been thinking about since then. My head is starting to hurt from it.

The break ends soon and we're called over to work on the drill again. Practice today is pretty standard, pretty boring. Before I know it we're done and I'm going home.

[8:30 P.M.; Eric's House]

As soon as I get home I eat, shower, and go straight to bed. Today was a lot and I'm tired. I'm on my phone though of course, because who the fuck goes to bed at 8:30.

Ugh, my head hurts. Maybe I should go to bed early today. No, I won't be able to. I know I won't. I know that because I'm thinking of him again. Well, I probably shouldn't say again. I haven't really stopped thinking about him.

I stay up for about two more hours before getting tired enough to block out my stupid gay thoughts.

He's just eye candy, he's just eye candy, I try to tell myself. I close my eyes and try to think about how I have a boyfriend. And about how I've been with him for ten months. And about how I'm not a cheater, and about how Zach probably doesn't even like boys, and about how Mack is honestly kind of ugly so Zach would be a mega upgrade and-

SHUT UP, BRAIN, JUST SHUT UP.

Breathe, Eric.

Breathe.

I'm going to bed.

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~End Chapter 1~