Have you ever felt used? If you can answer yes to that question then it's because you most likely were.
Being used has its own atmosphere and as soon as you feel it you don't trust it!
You don't want to believe you are being used! No, you want to believe that this person truly values you. Although the signs are clear, obvious and no matter how much you can feel this negative Vibe your brain Chooses to ignore it and decides to still provide the "benefit of the doubt". Simply because the person who is wearing the coat of manipulation also wears a genuine smile, smells nice and speaks as if they would never try to hurt you but they always do. This person is an opportunist, this person can smell opportunity from 20 miles away and always gets to what they want and doesn't give a damn who they have to hurt along the way. Why is it that a beautiful face is the kind of face we fear the most yet take the chance to trust just to get hurt. How is it that this Person can be so heartless to take advantage of someone who wanted trust them just to drop them like nothing..... I'm something and although you one this time I still will let you know how I feel about what you've done to me Shannon. And so I wrote.
Dear Shannon,
My heart hurts I feel empty and even more emotionless than I felt before I met you which is scary.... When we met I told you I didn't believe In love anymore because every time I try I get stepped on But, something about you I liked! Something about you spoke to my soul and I'm starting to realize maybe i should have listened more to what our souls said rather than what I wanted them to say. I take the blame for that Shannon. I wanted to beloved by you so bad after fighting you for so long that in stopped listening and started assuming so
I can't say I'm surprised that you used me. I felt your vibe and chose to ignore it. I wanted to believe that someone actually wanted to be serious this time and wasn't gonna try to sell me a dream, I'm super good at picking out fakes but I wanted to give you a chance because I thought you really wanted to give me one! But you felt the need to lie as if you would actually want to pursue me but of course it was just to get in my pants. I knew the things you said out of anger had truth in them.... I'm just a "hit and quit" but you apologized of course I forgave and all the shit you said to me about me and you being together. Stupid.... I'm stupid. I'm just mad because you didn't have to do any of that, if you just wanted sex that's all you had to say. I would have said no but At least I wouldn't feel used. I was saving my body for someone I would be in a relationship with cause my heart is tired of playing games ! But that doesn't matter And then you ignore me like I'm nothing.
I just wanted you to be honest but I can't always get what I want. I hate to say it but I only knew you for a 2 weeks and already you hurt me and made me feel like a idiot. I won't text you again. Goodbye.
Sent: 10:28am
Read: 10:43am
No I didn't get a reply,
But I did learn something knew that day.
And although my heart hurts.... I did learn but I won't text him again. Goodbye
