Sammy Wilk Imagines

Not Like That

It's 9pm. 9pm and I'm still at home, waiting for Sam who was supposed to pick me up a half hour ago but he hasn't arrived yet. I keep telling myself to just wait a little bit longer but I've called him three times and it's gone straight to voicemail and where the fuck is he? I know staring out of the window isn't going to make him miraculously appeared but I'm clinging onto that last bit of hope that maybe he hasn't bailed on me. I like Sam, I like a Sam a whole fucking lot actually and there's this party tonight - he asked me to go with him and obviously I said yes straight away, we even spoke about it last night and I was so excited to spend some time alone with him even if it was only in the car on the way there but now, well now it looks like I'm not getting a ride after all.

Briefly, I contemplate just getting changed into my PJs and not going to the party at all because after being stood up it sort of ruins your mood completely. Except I don't want to get changed and mope around all night because I spent so long getting ready and anyway, Sam might have a valid reason to have not turned up, he might be ill for all I know. Everyone else is going to be at the party though, he's not the only person I'm going for and I'm not about to let one disappointment ruin the rest of my night.

It doesn't take me anywhere near as long as I thought it would to get to the party on foot and I take a minute to fix my hair in a nearby car window before I turn to the house. Already I can hear music booming, muffled slightly but still loud enough for it to be heard halfway down the street and I wonder why neighbours haven't complained yet because of the noise. I pull out my phone once I'm outside and text Nate to come out to meet me, there's no way I'm going to be able to just walk in there and find my friends on my own when just from approaching I can tell it's busy in there.

Nate doesn't take long to come out though and as he greets me, I can already smell alcohol on his breath but I don't mind. "Why you so late, ma?" He questions, obviously staying outside to have this conversation because it's not going to be the most easy thing in the world to hear each other in there over the music. "We were starting to think you weren't gonna come."

"I was waiting for a ride. Sam was meant to pick me up but I guess he couldn't make it or something." I shrug, trying not to come across as upset as I actually feel because really it's pathetic how attached I can get to people. Nate picks up on the tone though, looking at me sympathetically; I don't know why I thought I could hide it from him. The guys all know how much I like Sam, in fact all of them do except Sam himself. I don't like the sympathy though, I hate the fact that I can't just get over him and having my friends constantly pity me over it doesn't make things any easier so I avert my gaze from Nate for a brief second until I'm sure he's not looking at me that way any more.

"Sam's in there." Nate confirms, pointing a thumb over his shoulder to show that he means in the house and I feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach at those words. But it's okay though, he probably just forgot about me, it's fine that happens. He'll probably see me and remember and apologise and everything will be fine. "Don't worry about it, you know how forgetful he is. Now come on, let's go inside." Nate nods in the direction of the door and I follow behind him as he leads me into the house.

It's crowded in here, way too crowded but Nate and I manage to push through the hoards of people with me anxiously gripping onto his shirt as we do so that I don't lose him and then we reach the guys. The Jacks, Swazz, Sam and- and someone I don't know. I can already feel a lump forming in my throat as I stare at Sam and this girl who I've never seen before in my life. They're practically all over each other, so much so that Sam hasn't even noticed that I've arrived and I want to look away from the way his hands are on her hips and they're dancing to the music so slowly and his lips are so close to her neck and oh fuck, I want to look away but it's like tunnel vision and I can't stop myself. It was a mistake coming here, I should've just stayed at home.