The Perfect Boyfriend [Completed]

Chapter 7: The gap between two people

I felt like I was miles away from her.

"Hello?" I hadn't exactly expected her to pick up, but I felt a surge of relief. Tonight wouldn't be the last I would see her.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Why?" She asked with concern, "are you dying or something, you sound out of breath."

Evidently I had just ran to her place, walking slowly as of now. I was completely out of breath.

"Yeah, I'm dying." I responded.

"What's going on Evans, where are you?"

"I just broke up with my girlfriend, do you wanna know why?"

"Where are you Evans?!" She was practically yelling but I ignored the pain that was throbbing in my ears.

"She loved someone else! AGAIN." I was laughing and I could hear her foots running out of the door. She was going to find me.

When she opened the door, she spotted me and the first thing she did was punched me in the guts.

"Are you insane!? I thought you were seriously dead!" She was still screaming and I clenched my stomach.

"Violent as ever." I spoke and she rolled her eyes.

"What the hell happened?" Her voice was filled with concerned but I continued to smile.

"First, tell me what you were going to say to me that day."

"What?"

"The day Eva and Dean broke up, what did you want to say?"

Now it was her turn to stare at me silently.

"You had the guts tonight to tell me off but you didn't even let me have the chance to say my own piece! What, were you scared that Lily and her friends would detest you? So you were an insecure little girl!"

That ignited something in Emi's face as she gritted her teeth, "so what am I insecure!? What does that got to do with you!? I hate that I'm not pretty enough, I hate that I'm not good at anything! Are you satisfied?!"

I shook my head, "why would I be satisfied that my friend is hurt? There's a ton of fucked up people in the world that want to see people fall, but those aren't people I want to be around. I'm used to being this ideal version of someone, I'm used to being the second guy."

Emi furrowed her brows, unsure of where I was going and to be honest, I didn't have a single god damn clue what the hell I was saying.

It just felt right.

"but I'm not. I'm just a petty guy and I know it. I just know what rings with people and I use it to my advantage. I know that better than anyone. Of course I want the people that reject me to be sad, I want them to like me. So I portray this guy to them."

She stayed silent and I continued, "I portray myself as this guy that will always be there for you and say the sweet words you want to hear, but I should've known."

I paused to breath for a moment, "how do I expect someone to love me if I don't even love them myself!?"

I could see Emi's eyes widened, "you asked if I loved Lily? I have a goddamn answer and it's a no."

It was funny saying those words out loud, "I didn't even cry when we broke up, I shrugged it off. It's literally been only an hour since our break up but I can still laugh."

"Evans." Emi's voice hummed through my ears and I chuckled.

"Ah, that was good to say."

"Evans."

"I feel refresh."

"Evans."

"What Emi!?" I couldn't help but raise my voice.

The girl in front of me smiled sweetly.

"You're crying."

I touched my face and it was wet. My eyes widened, "I-I'm crying, what is with this? I don't feel an inch of sadness though."

I began to rub the tears away with my arms, that's when Emi began to speak.

"What I was going to say to you was..." I looked up to her and my vision was blurry so I couldn't see her well, but I could feel her approaching me, "it's hard isn't it?"

"Acting as if you're okay all the time. Being the butt end of the jokes. It was hard wasn't it?" No matter how hard I wiped my eyes, I couldn't see Emi that well. She was a blob, I wanted to see what expression she was showing.

"You were in pain but everyone was so busy with their own pains that they didn't see it. I thought that maybe you liked it that way." I could hear her voice break a bit, despite wanting to comfort her, I couldn't see.

"I thought that I shouldn't say anything because it wasn't right...to tell you...that..." Her voice broke, "you look broken."

My voice sank at that and I wanted to tell her she was wrong. I looked up to see a warm hand touch my cheeks as she wiped my tears slowly.

She shook her head, "that night with Eva, your expression said it all you know? You love her and you couldn't leave her. But you can't even kiss her."

My eyes slowly started to clear as I noticed that there were tears on her cheeks too. "That night, you showed me the honest you."

"but what should I do? It seems like you hate the honest you. I can't help but think we're similar, you know?"

"I hate myself quite a bit, I dislike my appearance quite frequently. I'm not a model in the finest. I felt a bit inferior to Eva to be quite honest. She was beautiful, a model. While I was envious of her face you were envious of her heart."

My mouth wanted to say something but I busy staring at her as the tears trailed her eyes.

"I hated myself for looking at something so superficial while you were looking for something deeper. You were looking for someone to love whereas I was looking for someone to tell me sweet words. In the end, I don't think I loved properly."

Her hands trailed to my shirt as grabbed onto it with her strength, "it's disgusting to feel this way. I wanted everything Eva had, but I couldn't do the first step. It's painful you know?"

"I wanted to tell you, it was okay. That you've worked hard, that these things pass but that would be hypocritical of me, don't you think? How could I tell you pretty words when I felt ugly saying them? You who spoke so honestly and if I gave you a superficial response, how would you feel?"

I pause and I started to laugh.

She looked up at me a bit surprise at my laugh.

"Why are you laughing!?"

"It's cause snots coming down your nose." I quickly used my dress shirt to wipe away her tears and snot.

I sighed, "to be honest, I was quite worried."

"why?"

"That you would stop talking to me."

"I wouldn't."

I smiled at that, "exactly, that's why if you told me superficial words I would be okay. Maybe they wouldn't be the best words to say, but I'm glad you didn't actually."

She tilted her head a little confused.

I came closer to her and I wrapped my arms around her, engulfing her in a tight hug, "because I wouldn't realize how much of an idiot I am."

"What the hell are you saying?" She muttered.

"I'm saying we should be close."

I said as I closed the gap between us.