kidnapped by one direction

Explain!

I was lying down in a peaceful green meadow that was dotted with multi-coloured flowers. Above me the clear blue sky swirled in different patterens as it spun around the world. I laid down for a while as i recollected the memories of what had happened. I seemed to to be alone until i heared a voice.

"Did you really think we loved you? You are still so naive! You foolish child, we only kept you for our reputation! Getting into oxfard wouldn't have changed anything!" My eyes followed the voice to come face to face with my smirking dad.

I stood up shakily as fat tears fell down my face.

"Why? Why don't you love me? What did i ever do to you?" i cried.

"And you still don't understand!" My dad sighed. "It shouldn have been you, not your brother...."

Joseph? What does he have to do with anything?

"It should have been you who died not your brother. That fateful day 6 years ago, you were the one that was supposed to die! Not Joe!" My dad said calmly, his voice quivering with emotion.

What no. This is just a dream. He doesn't mean it!

"He risked his life for you. If you hadn't been the cocky brat you were then maybe he wouldn't have died! But no you just had to run onto the road over a stupid little argument with him! It was all over a bowl of ice-cream for goodness sake! A bowl of ice-cream! My poor son died for a bowl of ice-cream! He was only 15! Not nearly old enough to have died! You took away his life. Your own brothers life." He spat,

"You cannot believe how hard it was for me and your mother. And then you just had to start cutting didn't you! You have always been like that. Never caring about others. Its always about you. Poor Bridget this! Poor Bridget that! I feel so sorry for your daughter this! Even the poeple at work were all over you! You had them wrapped around your finger. You hypocrite!" He screamed before disappearing.

Tears continued to pour down my face as the memories i had took so long to get over came flooding back in one massive crash. 

But that wasn't the worst part, the worst thing was that he was right: it was all my fault. 

If i hadn't run into that road being the reckless teenager i was then maybe he wouldn't have died. That car would never have hit him. I should've just him the ice cream he wanted!

I started to become depressed. So i started cutting. The pleasure of the blood flowing out was exhilerating. Whenever i cut, it felt like my emotions were being let out. It was the best thing to let out the feelings i had bottled up inside out. Dad was right . I never thought of them whenever i cut.

But then i never thought that they would find out because they were never home anyways. Except one day when i went a little bit too far and my razor cut my vein. But of course there was no one there to help me so i was just left there to bleed to death. Luckily, our maid Mollie, found me pretty much on the brink of death the next morning. It was already lucky enough that i hadn't cut down any further otherwise i really would be dead. I woke up later a few months later in a hospital bed undergoing therapy. 

The next year we moved to London where nobody knew me. I made up a new name for myself, Stephanie. No one knew about my past so i lied to them saying that i had come from the South and my parents had wanted to move to a bigger city. 

As well as that i recreated myself into a new person. I molded myself into a confident and sporty, Stephanie Ivy who was smart and pretty and got all the boys but was still modest and kind. The one that everybody liked but didn't want the attention.

I basiclly changed myself to the person i had always wanted to be. I even dyed my hair so instead of the mousy light brown my hair used to be, it was a dark chestnut type of colour. I started experimenting with light pieces of mascara or blush and used specially branded hair shampoo rather than the cheapest thing i could find in the shop.