I Am The One (Kpop x Male!Reader) (Male Various) (BoyxBoy)

B.A.P YongGuk-Nam x Male!Reader

Title: If it's for you I'll be Okay..

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*note: was originally going to be Zelo instead of YongGuk but eh.. Also if anyone is new to B.A.P Yongnam is Yongguk's Twin brother*

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"YongGuk-ah," I said as I leaned against his desk.

"What are you doing here," he asked his his face betraying his calm voice. His eyes were downcast and dull. I remember when they were full of love and life but I suppose that was a long time ago. Too long ago..

"Can't I check on my boyfriend just to check on him? There has to be a reason?" I asked softly as I leaned my chin against by hand. He didn't meet my eyes. I let out a long soft sigh as I lifted my head to stare at the ceiling. My eyes were becoming wet as I tried not to sob. What could I do? What can I do? Nothing.. If I couldn't do anything when it happened.. I sure as hell couldn't do anything now.

"YongGuk-ah.." I murmured, returning my gaze to his face. I tried to memorize his face. One last time.. His black hair that was badly damaged from his past hair bleaching was no silky and healthy.. His hazel eyes, that once held love as he smiled at me, now held no emotion when he glanced.. His long fingers that wrote the saddest yet most beautiful lyrics I had ever read.. His lips.. Even his.. his furrowed brows that I used to poke at, trying to ease the lines.. But trying to memorize him.. It was impossible. I wanted to stare at him everyday, I wanted to wake up next to him.. But I couldn't.. Not anymore..

"YongGuk-ah.." I murmured once again, this time smiling causing my tears to come pouring down my face.

"What {m/n}?" He asked this time snapping his head to my face, eyes widening in surprise at my tear stained features. I swallowed as I brought my fingers up to his cheek, cupping his face.. I missed him so much.. His deep voice as he laughed, as he whispered, as he rapped to me.. But it was too late.. He was gone.. Without a final goodbye..

"{m/n}.. Why are you crying?" He asked as he stood up and embraced my shaking form..

"Why are you crying {m/n}?"

I smiled as I clenched my jaw.. I pushed away from the hug, such a cold hug.. It didn't match his warm embraces from before at all..

"Why not?" I whispered clenching my fists as I slowly sank to the ground. I could hear the rain pelting against the window.. The pavement.. The world.. Is this what it feels like to die? Dying hurts so much then..

"I'm here for you {m/n}.." He said as he approached me slowly..

"No you're not.." I said as I looked at his once again. "Not anymore YongGuk-ah.."

"What are you talking about? I'm right here.. I'm still here.."

"No.. No.. You're not.." I sobbed as I stared at the casket.

+In memory of Bang YongGuk+
+Brother, Twin, Son, Lover, Friend+

+March 31st 1990+
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+September 2nd 2016+

Death didn't suit him.. It didn't suit his personality.. He would've hated this ceremony, it went with the traditional sense of the world. He would've hated this.. Death didn't suit him.. Not at all.. He left much too soon.. He left so much behind.. He left me behind.

"We need to go {m/n}.." said Yongnam as he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Yongnam-ah.. Bring him back.." I began sobbing uncontrollably as he hugged me..

"{m/n} I-I can't I.." He stuttered as he cried silently..

"YongGuk-ah.." I whimpered as I stared at Yongnam's face.

-Yongnam pov-

If I have to I will be his replacement {m/n}.. Always.. If it's for you it's alright.. If it's for you..

"YongGuk-ah.." {m/n} sobbed into my chest and I felt my heart tighten as I stared at my brother one last time..

"I love you YongGuk-ah.." He whispered as he cupped my cheek in his hands. I felt tears trickle down my face as the rain outside got even worse.

"I love you too {m/n}.."

If it was for you.. Could I?
Of course I could
If fine as long as it's for you..
Even though you only love me because I look like YongGuk
Even if you only see him when you look at me..
Even if I have to pretend for the rest of my life..
If it's for you.. I'll be okay..

-748 words-

Sorry guys.. I didn't want to make this depressing after not posting for so long but... Hope you enjoyed.. The next one is happy I promise..