Never Would I Ever - Toby Turner Fanfiction

Final Goodbyes

Toby’s P.O.V

Looking back at the past year, I try to focus on all the good things that happened. Fate played a huge part in our relationship, our anniversaries were always the days where the world just felt perfect, like everyone was celebrating the time we’d spent together. When I was with her it was like anything was possible, like I could never again feel sad or alone or worthless because she had attached herself to my heart and I never wanted to cut her off. The sun shone brighter when I was with her, my laugh was louder and everything was right. The Audience loved her as much as I did and that made me so much happier.

The wedding plans were underway as soon as we got home and I watched her face light up that bright shade of red like it always did as she told her friends about the engagement. I invited Sean, Seth, Jack and Gabe to be my groomsmen and they agreed before I even finished my sentence. Ky had made best friends with a few girls from Australia and she insisted they flew over for the big day, which I was perfectly okay with. 

Of course, fairy tales never last. I don’t know at which point I realised what was happening but before I knew it things were getting bad. They were out of control and I felt like the world was collapsing right before my eyes. And she was.

It took us all by surprise one morning. I’m not sure what she was doing but I heard the bang and ran into the room and found her lying unconscious next to a toppled ladder. I recalled what the doctor had said about her head injuries, that it only took one slight hit to do a lot of damage.

I can’t remember what happened until I was in the hospital with her. She had slipped into a coma right before my eyes and the doctors doubted she would ever get out. My world was almost completely destroyed and those dull beeps were the only sign of hope I had left.

I spent a lot of time thinking that week. We were only a few months away from being married. I couldn’t just let her go; she meant the world to me. She means the world to me. But what could I have done? Waited another two years before finally giving up on her?

I talked to her everyday leading up to it. I only wanted to see the spark in her eyes again. The pinkness in her cheeks, feel the warmth in her skin as we kissed. I wanted to feel her heart race as it did every time we embraced. I needed to tell her how much I loved her because I never did it enough. She needed to know how beautiful and perfect she was to me, even with all her little insecurities. She needed to know I would never stop loving her, that making that decision was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I didn’t cry that entire week. I kept strong for her.

"Ky.. I know you might be dissapointed in me for giving up so quickly. I could have waited longer I know but.. the doctors said the longer you're in there, the smaller your chances of ever getting out are. I just... I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much and I won't ever forget you I promise. You were there for me when I was so alone, you helped me through so much and I never thanked you enough for that. I just wish.. I just wish I could get one more chance. Just one more chance to tell you how amazing you are and how much of an impact you made o-on my life. I will miss you so.... much." 

I nodded to the doctors and gave her one final goodbye kiss.

I broke down when the machines stopped beeping.