Why Do You Care?

So the first story I did was't a very good one, I have come back to redeem myself.  I would like to give a special thanks to @MadelineSane for the amazing cover photo.

  Here I go again.  I feel the helplessness setting in.  I was completely alone in my room.  My door locked shut with a careless slam, and my music was filling my room with an overly exerted sound of strain from my small stereo.  I could barely hear it, though, my mind was way beyond comprehending lyrics.  I was completely numb. 

            I knew my brother Brian would be home at any minute so if I was going to do anything, I had to do it fast.  He was the only person even remotely aware of my troubles and worries, but even he didn’t know the extent of them.  I just couldn’t bring myself to worry him with all of them. 

            I happened to glance into the mirror as I was pulling a half-drank bottle of vodka I kept hidden in my room. 

You monster. I started to think to myself. How can you live with your pathetic self? How does anybody love you?

“They don’t…” I whispered to myself.

            The tears tugged at my eyes as I poured myself a drink.  I was only three drinks down when my brother pulled into the driveway.  I gasped.  He couldn’t be home yet! This was early even for him! I quickly downed the last of my drink in my hand and searched franticly for something to cover my makeup smudges.  I fixed it as best I could and hoped that he wouldn’t notice. 

            I heard him open the door and yell for me.  I quickly ran to my phone dock and turned off the music.  Then I ran to my bed to get my jacket and threw it on to cover my arms. 

            At this time, he was already walking up the stairs to get me out of my room.  He hated to have me shut up in my room all the time.  I have a feeling that he suspected more than I was telling him, but as long as he didn’t ask, I wasn’t going to tell him. 

“Alex! Come on, I have something to show you!” He called for me, almost at my door.

            I took one more look in the mirror, normal enough, I guess.  I walked over and unlocked the door before he could knock.

“Hey Alex I…” His face dropped “Alex, what is it, what’s wrong?”

Great.

“Nothing, what did you want to tell me?” I asked not very convincingly.  I wanted to break down again.

“That doesn’t look like nothing.” He said pointing at my eyes “and why do you smell like Alcohol?” He said leading me into my room in case our parents came home.

“It’s nothing, Brian.  Yes, I had a few drinks, but it’s nothing for you to be concerned with.” I admitted, hoping that he would just drop the whole thing.  Of course he wouldn’t.

“Was it something at school?” He asked “You can tell me, I won’t go running to mom, you know that.”

I sighed, it was now or never. “Yeah.” I answered simply.

“Here sit down and take your jacket off.  It’s a million degrees in here.” He said reaching for my jacket. 

            I flinched slightly, but he took it off only to stifle a small gasp.  His face was extremely pained.  He looked me in my eyes.

“Alex… What? Why?” He stuttered

            Even though it was extremely warm in my room, I shivered with anxiety.  He knew now.  That’s all I could think of.  Was he going to tell our parents?  I wished I could have just tucked up and died right there.