A letter to my 18 year old self
Hey you, hang on there. By then you wonder what you'll achieve in your life. You always wondered about the phrase "her whole life is ahead of her". By now let me tell you that you haven't solve that puzzle yet. Maybe you never will.
But I think that's how life is. You can enjoy your life without the pressure of knowing where it will lead you. You can still be spontaneous.
I mean not on the large scale of things, like lets say your career, you did dream of what you want to be. Now, you are a junior medical intern, you still don't make a living but you are living your dream and you will live your dream. You have that, you've worked, sweat and bleed so hard to get where you are right now and made many sacrifices. But you weren't alone because your family did too. So don't ever forget to look after them, for they were the ones who provided for everything you needed to make your dreams come true.
For the lovelife part, well you still haven't have much luck on that department. Like I said, sacrifices. Plus, maybe its not yet the time but the major part is that your priorities are different compared to others who are the same age as you are. Even so, I want you to know that you are okay. You're good, knowing that you don't need to rely on someone to be happy. You do know that being happy comes from you, yourself alone and being in a relationship just complements said happiness, not the sole source of it.
You are happy knowing yourself first. You might wonder, of course I know me, I've known me for my whole life. But let me tell you, you still learn different parts of yourself everyday and you've learned to appreciate yourself more than you did 6 years ago.
You've become more comfortable with your own skin. You know now that its okay not to be perfect and definitely fine to make some mistakes. That was always your struggle before. You've always been shy too. Well, you still are (mostly at first meetings). You are still painfully awkward at making small talks, at introducing yourself and at making new friends but you do know now how to hold your ground. You've learned to adjust on dealing with different kinds of people. You'll never win Miss Congeniality but you can bear to stay and be friendly.
More importantly, you've learned to know your worth. I think at 24, not everyone have that so kudos to you. When you were young you've always have doubts about your self worth but now you do know how to compromise but you also know the importance of making your stand on the things that matter to you. If some can't accept what you believe in, you don't overanalyze things like you did back then. Now you just let them be.
As for friends, you've gain some and lose a few. You are still picky at making friends like nanofiltering-picky and you'd rather have a handful than multitude of them and maybe a big part of it is because you are still very much of an introvert. Sadly, some of those few you lost are the ones you've thought would grow old with you. However, you also learned that that's just how it is. Change is constant and some friendships don't last for a life time even if you badly want them to. You've learned not to agonize for those and more importantly to cherish those friends who stayed with you through everything you've been through. I'm telling you they are all you need.
You still love to read. Not as much novels as you want like you did before. But the thought of reading and holding a book on your free time still excites you very much. Maybe you'll forever appreciate escaping reality for few moments of entering a new world through reading a book. You still hoard books, not as much paperbacks as you did before but if you check your ipad you have so many ebooks and so little time; and your geeky self just can't help the pun intended.
You learned to take a breather when you need one like right now when your writer self needed an outlet. You've missed writing creatively but you still keep a devotion and at times writing on that is all the breather you need because you also learned how great it is to talk with your Creator.
Over all, you're doing good self. Give yourself a pat on the back.
You're still a working progress and you know that's the beauty of it all. You know who you are and you do know that there's still so many turns to see, so many parts still unwritten.
