The Throne (Prince Harry fanfic #6)

Chapter Forty

After returning home and with the end of call, Harry hadn't gone downstairs. Every second of every minute of every hour was spent with his children. They had woken up and started to move around a bit, but none of them were happy. Harry would've given the rest of his time to see them smile one last time.

His eyes wandered over to the clock again and again. He still had time. Time for his children, and Harry spent it. Though his mind strayed, what if he didn't go? No one would've known. What if he stayed with his children? That was what Lucy wanted, right? But then she flashed in his mind, and he knew he had to go. He wished to be a worse human being, but he couldn't. Lucy was his wife and his love forever. His body, soul and mind belonged to her.

And Harry wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't do this. If he let her die, Harry wouldn't be a human anymore. He decided to save her, because that was what loved ones did. If he didn't do this, the children would have no parents because he would be less than human. Forever he would be in a pattern of self-hatred and anger. If Harry had a chance to save Lucy, wouldn't he take it? Harry knew what it was like to grow up without a mum; he didn't want that for his children.

"Dad," Freddie whispered, "you are sad. Are you thinking about Mum?"

"Yes." Harry tried to lighten his face, but everything was too heavy. "She'll be with you guys soon." Harry kissed his eldest son's head.

"Do you promise?" Henry asked quietly.

"Yes, I promise." Harry kissed his other son's head. "Then it'll be a happy family."

"Dad, you don't look happy," Freddie explained. "If you think Mum will be with us soon, you should be elated and excited."

"I am." Harry pushed a smile. "I am, truly, because I love your mum. I love her with all of my life. I would do anything for her." Sighing, he asked, "How about a hug?"

The boys complied, and Harry hugged them a little tighter. He clung onto them, like he used to cling to his mother. He clung onto them, like he used cling onto Lucy. Both of those were for vastly different reasons, but it felt like the perfect time now. Things wouldn't be the same tomorrow. It was hard to admit, but it was true. Whatever happened tonight, the world was changing.

"Dad, we can't breathe," Henry complained.

Harry released and smiled down at his boys genuinely. "Sorry. I just love you so much."

"I love you too, Dad," Freddie said. Henry agreed.

Looking down at his sons, it was funny how much they grew to be independent men that were willing to change the world for the better. They were going to fight for equal rights for everyone, no matter gender, race or creed. They were going to be happy, and they were going to be loved. They were going to love. Freddie looked more and more like his father every day, with the ginger hair and blue eyes. His jaw matched his father's too. On the other hand, Henry had Lucy's features of blond hair and green eyes, matching her features. Harry could've stared at them all day.

"Harry," called a voice, and he turned to see his older brother there. "May I speak with you?"

Nodding, Harry gave a last look to his sons before going with his brother. William didn't want to take him too far away, but he did want privacy. "What is it, Wills?"

"I'm sorry, Harry, for everything." William swallowed sadly. "It's not... you're right, sometimes. There have been times I have put the monarchy before family and everything else. Our family is the monarchy, but we chose lives outside the monarchy too. Mum wouldn't have wanted us to devote everything to everyone. She wanted us to be close. And there used to be nothing to tear us apart--"

"That was a long time ago, Wills. We got lives apart from each other, like others do."

"But we aren't like others, Harry. You understand that, don't you?"

"I do," Harry agreed, "and I understand why you do it. I understand what you do for me and my children and Lucy. I understand what you do for your own."

"I don't know when this started, just breaking apart."

"Our lives are different, Wills, but we're still together." Harry breathed deeply. "I am sorry too. I realize this is difficult for you. Lucy has been difficult."

"Yes, but," William paused, "she has been great for you, and she has been great for the monarchy and the country. Truly, Lucy has been great for a lot of people, because there are different people out there, and she proves that. Lucy isn't delicate; she's a survivor. That's why I know she's going to survive this. She's probably already escaped and said some rude things to them." He laughed. "Though difficult, it has been wonderful having her in my life. I thank you for that, Harry."

Stepping forward, Harry reached around and hugged his older brother. After a few seconds, William hugged his younger brother. There weren't any pats on the backs or comforting words. There was just silence. Clinging to his brother, it had been a very long time since he did this. Harry didn't want William to be upset or to blame; this was Harry's choice. Yet he couldn't say it now. William would've stopped him.

"Dad?" Louise poked her head in.

"I'm coming," Harry said quickly and brushed a tear from his eye. Louise left.

"She's going to be okay," William promised.

"Yeah." Harry left his brother and rejoined his children. The boys had gone off into Freddie's room, while the girls waited. "What's up?"

Louise curled her arms around his neck, and Harry hugged her back. Tears rolled down her face. "I'm sorry, Daddy, for being a brat and being mean and being--"

"Shh, Louise, it's okay. Just be better tomorrow, yeah?"

Louise nodded.

Beatrice and Emma hovered in the back.

"Do you want a hug too?" Harry asked.

The other two girls came forward and hugged their father. Each of the girls, though identical were different. Emma was just a little smaller. Beatrice wore glasses. Louise had straight hair. Each of them had his eyes and their mum's blonde hair. The features were a mixture of both. The girls were beautiful. Each would've grown into something wonderful and magnificent. They would've flown and achieved. The world was at their fingertips, and they were ready to grasp.

Glancing at the time, he had to go. "I love you," he said.

"We love you too, Daddy," small Emma responded.

Kissing them on the heads, he walked down the stairs and out the front doors. Police officers around, along with armed forces. All looked outward for a fight. Harry stood behind them.

"Your highness," Robert called with Simon at his side, "where are you going?"

Harry held up a pack of cigarettes, like he used to smoke a while ago.

"Those things will kill you," Simon responded.

He smirked. "I'm going around back."

The bodyguards nodded and looked back to the street. Harry glanced around, and he knew how to get out immediately. It was always easier to get out of a palace than into a palace. Harry learned that in his younger days when he did escape often. Staring into the darkness, this was it. This was the last chance he had to turn back. Yet, he needed to save Lucy, but he didn't want to die. No matter how much he went back and forth on it, his mind was set. He was going. In the dark now, Harry was ready to escape. He went into the darkness and then paused.

"Simon, Robert," he called, coming out of the darkness. Both bodyguards looked over. "Could you do something for me? Just you two."

"Yes, your highness."

Happy 32nd birthday, Prince Harry! (15 September 1984)