Unbearable Decisions (boyxboy)

Chapter 26 (Repeating the Past)

Jacob's Point of View

"Please just let me die. I deserve it for killing her" repeated Luca over and over again with no emotion in his voice or eyes. "No I'm never going to let you die!" I said as I moved to hug him again. Even though he kept trying to keep me from doing so, I managed to pull him into one. He didn't return it though, his arms hung at his side and I felt no warmth come from his body. I held back the tears as I ran my hand through his hair in a soothing manner and saying "It's going to be ok" to him.

I heard someone come up behind us but I didn't move, hoping that if I stayed here long enough and hugged tight enough that Luca would snap out of it. "Jacob everyone left. Is Luca ok?" asked Mary. "I-I don't know!" She put her hand on my shoulder and just kept it there, "Let's get you two home, maybe you can help better there." I let go of Luca as I stood up and held my out for him to take, but he only looked at it before dropping his head. I picked him up so he was on my back with his head on my shoulder. "Mary can you please clean this all up, I need to......to take him back home," I said as I nodded at the presents. "Of course....of course just help him! I'll come by with everything later!" "Thank you" and with that I carried him to the car, buckled him up, and drove us home.

When I finally had him sitting on the couch I kneeled in front of him, "Luca....Luca can you please look at me?" he didn't move, just stared at the floor. "Can you please talk to me! Let me help you!" I said as I took his hand in mine. He moved his hand away and wrapped his arms around himself, "I want to die, I deserve to die." I couldn't hold them back anymore, the tears came out and they wouldn't stop. Luca didn't even look at me as I cried in front of him, he was just like a lifeless doll now and it made me cry harder.

There was a nock on the door making me jump. I tried to wipe the tears away as I opened the door to Mary. She walked in with the rest of the presents in her arms. She set them down on the table and ran to hug me, "Hey it's going to be ok, he'll get better!" I cried on her shoulder no longer trying to be strong, "B-but what....what if he-he doesn't!" She rubbed my back as she whispered comforting words into my neck. She then pulled me into living room and made me sit beside Luca, who was exactly the same as I left him.

"Luca tell Jacob what is wrong! He only wants to help!" Luca just shook his head. Mary tried for what seem like forever to get Luca to open up to me, only to have him reject us every time. She let out a huff as she stood and nodded with her head for me to follow. "I don't know how to help him Jacob, I'm sorry" she moved to the door. "It's ok I'll keep trying, I have to." "Good because he needs you right now. Whatever is wrong with him....well I think only you can help. I'm going to go check on Adam now!" Shit that's right, Adam got hurt. "Hey it's ok if you forgot, I mean considering what is going on with Luca. He'll understand and I'll tell him you said hey!" I thanked her as I hugged her and closed the door.

"Hey Luca do you want anything?" He shook his head no. "Well do you want anything to eat or drink?" Same response. "Do you want to go to bed?" He didn't respond immediately, but when he did he nodded yes. I moved slowly and carefully to him, not wanting to scare him, before I picked him up bridal style and brought him to his bed. I pulled off his shoes and got him under the covers before I moved to do the same. I was about to get into bed with him when he put his hand on my chest to stop me, "I want to sleep alone please." I felt my chest tighten before I slowly nodded and hung my head as I moved to my own bed.

I slunk in and tried to clear my head so I could sleep, but that didn't work out so well. I tossed and turned all night as I cried into my pillow, "Please come back to me Luca! I need you!" I finally ran out of tears and fell asleep due to exhaustion. It didn't last long because I was woken up by the sound of Luca thrashing around. I moved over and listened to him, "No please don't! I didn't mean to kill her, please don't hurt me!" I didn't think twice about touching his shoulder and lightly shaking it to wake him.....bad idea. He jumped, fell out of bed and crawled backwards until he was curled up in a corner. When he came out of his nightmare he looked up at me and saw the mixture of fear, sadness and care that I knew was on my face. "I-I had a nightmare" he choked out.