me

that girl

I'm bi. Well, I'm bi but even though I'm cool with both genders, I prefer girls. I told my mom, and she wasn't mad or disappointed in me or anything she was completely cool with it. So when I told her about a girl I noticed in school, she got excited asking what she looked liked and who she was, that kind of stuff. Well, she was a quiet girl in the back of class, alone during lunch. She had long black hair, a cute smile, glasses and was a total bookworm. I tried to talk to her anyway I could. But being the person I am, I was to socially akward to say anything. Then I made a freind, whose name was, let's call hem jeff. We became best friends, he knew about my sexuality and was cool with it. One day he was on my phone looking through my messages like a snoop, and came across my messages about the girl I liked, he slowly looked up at me, and stared at me. Then slowly began to talk,  "do you like paige?"
I could feel my heart go faster as I heard her name, I blushed and slowly nodded my head.
"Uh, sorry.."
I looked up twords my friend and asked "why are you apologizing?"
Then it hit, after asking that I thought about why he would be apologizing. He was friends with Paige, but, they were....more..than friends. They were, together. That was the only thing I could think of, but I could be wrong that might not be it. "Paige is my girlfriend....im sorry..im didn't jnow you felt that way about her.."
I felt my heart shatter. Of course. There was no way that pretty girl would be single, or into other girls. I looked up at him faking a smile. "It's okay, there's no need to apologize."
Silence.
He just looked at me.
Then quietly whispered a "sorry" then said he had to go and left.

*later that day*

I thought about paige, thinking about how stupid I was for liking my best friends girlfriend. I had to think of a way to get rid of these feelings. I got up and went to look in the mirror. I started to insult myself, it had become a daily thing, everyday I went to my mirror and looked at myself in disgust.
I was fat, ugly, stupid and many more things.
I stopped and slapped myself, saying that I needed to stop telling myself these things. I fell asleep soon after that, Ignoring my phone that was blowing up with texts.