It was a rainy day when my life took a 360 turn. My heart was shattered in pieces. The day I knew I had no one left.
"I home!" I screamed from the bottom of the stairs as i walked into the house. "Mom?" I dropped my book bag off at the foot of the stairs and walked towards the kitchen. I looked up and screamed. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't function. I was frozen to the point where I couldn't speak. I dropped down to the floor as my eyes fled with tears.
My mother and baby sister are gone. My father, no where to be found. I have no one. No other family. So I tell myself. I have a drunken aunt. She hasn't been this way her whole life. It started when she hear the death of the husband. Yes, this is where all the questions come running inn those brains of yours. What happened? How did he die? Well I'm just going to tell you straight up. I killed him. Yes me, at the time an innocent young 11 year old. I didn't kill him just for fun, if thats what you're thinking. It was strictly self defense. He was an abusive man. He hit me, abused me, and rapped me. I just finally had enough.
That was seven years ago. I am now a senior in high school. I have found the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. My boyfriend, Derek, is the love of my life. We've been together six years and 6 months. I see him as an angel send from God himself.
We walked into the school together. Im not your typical cheerleader and he's not my typical jock. We are both art and music students. I held his warm hand as I laid my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead as I looked up at him and gazed into his eyes. We approached my locker. I slowly released my hand and attempted to put the combination in and yanked the lock downward. I gave a big sigh forcing my head into the door of my locker. I tried to grab two of my textbooks for my first classes, but i felt weak. As if i could even pick up a feather. Like my body was slowly breaking down. My head continued to lay on my locker door. "What's wrong?" I slowly shook my head as a tear raced down my cheek. He gently brushed his hand against my arm. His quiet way of saying, "Look at me." So i did. He pushed my hair behind my ear and asked me again. "Nothing, okay!" I said harshly while looking away. I know i hurt him just by the tone of my voice. Tears fell down my face and made contact with the floor below me. I quickly whipped my face dry and look at him. "I'm sorry, I just..." He gave a small smile as wiped the tears still falling to my cheeks. He sat on the floor under my locker. He softly grabbed my hand. "Sit." I looked at him and smiled. "Babe we have to go to class, we're late," I said putting the lock back on the locker and closing it.
"Sit," he said in a forcing, deeper voice. "Okay, I'm sitting," I said sitting next to him. My body still feeling vulnerable. By that time the hallways were cleared. "Talk to me." I laid my head on him as he wrapped his arm around me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I still can't get it out of my head. The images of my sister and mother just laying there on the kitchen floor, helpless. If only i hadn't gone to that stupid study group would i have been able to save them. " I began to cry heavily. Then I let all of what I was thinking. He wiped the tears off my face. "Your the strongest person I know. You have fought so hard in life. But, its okay to cry. You've already shown how strong u can be all these years. You've fought and fought through all of life's obstacles. But thats no excuse to stay and live in the past. Look towards the future and your goals. I can't say I know how you feel and that I completely understand, because I haven't been though what you've been through. I'm not saying forget about him and what you saw, but you still have to get through life. Don't keep thinking about the bad times. Remember the laughs, the good times, and the smiles. Okay?"
I slowly nodded. "No, I need to hear you say it." "Yes I understand." "You know I love, right?" "Yes, I love you too." He leaned in for a passionate kiss. Our lips interlocked. He kissed my forehead as I leaned for a hug. "Well, now I don't want to go to class." He gave a small laugh. "Okay, well then lets go home." He stud up brushing himself off. He held his hand out, as I grabbed it trying to lift myself up. "You ready?" he said holding my hand. "Yeah, lets go."
"You okay?" he asked opening my car door. I got in and turned to look at him. "Yeah, I will be. I just want to be with you." He smiled and closed my door and got in. I smiled at him, looking into his eyes. "What?" I shook my head. I grabbed him for a passionate kiss. I moved up in my chair with my legs in the seat and my body turned towards him. I felt a shiver go up and down my spine. His hands were on my face graciously , not wanting me to let go. I slowly bit my lower lip. I looked down.
He lifted my face by my chin and slowly pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "What was that for?"
