Purple Hearted Kisses

I'm Sorry

I wasn't sure what the problem was. I'd done everything I was told to do- swept, wiped off the table cleaned the dishes, and packed Andy's lunch for the next day. It wasn't easy or fun, especially considering the fact that I had school the next day and had only completed about 1/100 of what I had to do. 

"Why can't you just be better?" I snapped back to my mom's yell and struggled not to roll my eyes. What does being better even entail? Am I supposed to do everything faster? Because that was a little hard. 

"I don't know, Mom. Why can't I?" Arguing wasn't a rare occurrence and I saw my little sister stuff her fingers in her ears, preparing for my mother's voice to raise. And then it did. 

"Jesus fucking CHRIST Maia! Why do I have to do all of the FUCKING WORK in this HOUSE? I am NOT your SLAVE!" I kind of zoned out as she said the rest of her rant, making sure to take time to nod my head every few seconds, to give the impression that I was listening. That's how it was with her. You had to pretend like you cared enough that she felt like she was being heard. 

"I'm sorry, Mom." And those were the beautiful three words. I couldn't say them too soon into the rant because then she would think that I was simply saying it to shut her up. But saying it too late would make her think that I was only doing it to appease her. If my volume was too loud then she would think I was trying to drown her out but if it was too soft, she would think I wasn't being tough. If I said it too fast then she would assume I just wanted to et it over with but if I said the words too slow then she suddenly thought I was trying to make her look stupid. So basically, I had to not do what Goldilocks did (you know, when she had to try out EVERY BED and EVERY CHAIR before she found the RIGHT ONE) and say it the right way the first time. 

"Whatever." Bingo. 

"I really am, Mom. It isn't fair to you. I'll do better next time, I promise." Her brow slowly unwrinkled and she nodded, after a moment's hesitation. 

"It's okay. Just know that I won't tolerate this behavior anymore." I gave her a quick smile before getting up from the chair and headed into my room, making sure to murmur

"Yes ma'am." 

Holy fucking hell. I can't wait to get out of here.