Injection of normality

The army of pupils walked robotically, their expressionless faces daunt me, They move with no freedom as if on auto pilot; they stare impassively ahead. I make eye contact with an older boy, I try to make sense of the emptiness in his eyes, they're like walking into a brick wall, it's like asking entry to look into his eyes and being rejected coldly. he sternly breaks the eye contact and keeps walking.

consuming the silence the alarm goes off for school, the pace quickens of surrounding students. Tentatively I follow the crowd and find myself in reception.

A lady sat upright in her seat, prominent cheekbone and lips painted red convey the essence of evil. Looking through me as if I'm a ghost she thrusts a timetable in my face. Taken aback by the abrupt gesture I take a deep breath and go ahead with my plan, to fit in, be like them.

cautiously I walk into a classroom which gives the impression of a prison cell, I wonder if this is a detention room, however it is actually an art classroom, students stand behind rows of tables, girls on one side, boys on the other. They fiddle with clay skillfully, their movements perfectly in time. An old man with frail hands snaps his fingers and a boy breaks his trance to grab a new piece of clay before passively handing it to me, I glance over to watch the monotonous dance they perform; seeing as the teacher hadn't shown much interest in explaining the task to me.

boom.

the door slams open.

A man walks in, his presence demands attention, his dominating presence makes everybody flinch.

This overwhelming tension in the classroom takes over me, my palms starting sweat.

"Thomas Theo Denton, get into my office immediately," bellowed the man, which I assume is the Head Teacher.

stepping hurriedly into the office I wonder what I was summoned for, I couldn't of done something wrong already?

"sit," hissed the head teacher.

"we have a policy at this school, you must take the injection of normality, you have been informed with this I assume?" I shake my head nervously, he glances at me slightly surprised but carries on smoothly, unveiling a needle.

"this injection that I invented, makes you like everybody else here, no more bullying, or bad attitude here, you will be emotionless and dedicated to your studies," he laughs a single laugh, showing how chuffed he was with himself. It may not sound like the best idea, but at least I won't have to worry about looking for  new secondary school every few months because of my 'emotional break-downs' or 'anger issues' as my therapist likes to call it. I'll be able to fit in and be like them, not get judged.

I feel the liquid run into my veins, taking control of my body, I start to feel numb, I felt nothing, detached from my body - like it wasn't even mine, Is that suppose to happen?

I stared into a mirror across the room, the very heart of me was not the calm 14 year old boy I was, it was a machine, a monster. and to make matters worse, when I heard the head teacher talk again I didn't think of him like I used to, I thought of him like a master...

sudden realisation waves over me, I was being controlled by him and I couldn't fight it.

I couldn't live like this, not feeling anything, it was almost like feeling depressed, I wanted to fit in; I didn't want to be one of them. my lessons were all the same, all the students did the same lines,the same math, the same fitness regime. when I got home my dad would tell his awful jokes and my brother would laughhysterically, I used to join in but now I felt like there was a pane of glass between us and I wasn't truly there. I can't laugh, I feel so alone like nobody can help me, because nobody can. i'm stuck in a black hole and nobdy can dig me out, even I can't. I sit in the hoe and cry, the warm salty tears run a if I hold the ocean insid of me.

I feel somebody tugging me, I open my eyes and my mum is looking at me with worried eyes. I sit up frantically looking around. "what's the date?" my mum replies telling me it's Sunday the 14th, the day before I start my new school.

I feel my face and it's soaking, in tears and sweat. I had dreamt the whole thing, I could feel emotions, I could laugh, I could cry, I was me.

I smiled to myself and decided that my new school was going to be different, I wasn't going to try and fit in, its not worth it, i'd rather be able to feel sad but be me, than fit in but not feel a thing.