lip biting | junhao

"wǒ'àinǐ"

junhui couldn't take his gaze away from his best friend.
minghao danced with such a passion and junhui admired him.
he looked so beautiful and the way the younger bit his lip whenever he was really concentrated made junhui go crazy.
whenever the younger boy would bite his lip whether it was because he was nervous or because he was concentrated junhui had to resist the urge to connect his and the younger boys lips.
it was driving him crazy and he couldn't concentrate whenever the younger was in the same room with him.
everyone but minghao seemed to notice.
whenever soonyoung caught junhui staring at minhao instead of focusing on the choreography he would hit the taller male.
junhui somehow still managed to keep on track with the others even if he was fantasizing about how he would press his lips against the of the younger while pressing him against the walls of their dorm room.

they just finished practice and most of them already went to bed, but there were three who stayed a little longer.
minghao was struggling with a part of their new choreography and soonyoung tried to help him.
junhui was sitting on the floor almost asleep but he didn't wanted to leave without his best friend.
he stayed behind more often, always waiting for minghao who would always stay behind to practice longer.
it was easy to see that they both were sleeping way to less, the circles that were under they're eyes were really dark and even if junhui would always try to cover them up, they would still be visible.

after being scolded by seungchol and jeonghan, minghao stopped staying back and they assumed junhui would also go to bed earlier but they were wrong.
junhui saw the empty training room as a chance to practice without being distracted from minghao.
he would use every chance to practice alone and he always did well when he was practicing alone.
but when they would practice together he got distracted easily and it started to really mess with his head.
first he only had a little (or not that little) crush on the boy with ramen hair, but this crush devolved into deep love.
he would spend his free time either practicing or thinking about the younger.

he was doing okay. minghao didn't loved him back and he knew that, but it was okay. they were really close and minghao had no one he would go crazy about. of course, junhui would have been happier if minghao would also have feelings for him.
but this way he at least didn't got hurt having to listen to his friend fancying about a girl or boy he liked.
but it didn't stayed like that for long, the first time minghao hurt junhui so bad, that the latter was crying himself to sleep was when he told his hyung about this girl he met.
her name was lisa and he met her through kakaotalk where she accidentally texted him. she lived in germany, but was half korean and actually wanted to message her best friend who lived in korea when she messaged him. they started talking and after a week of talking they were really close and minghao had developed a little crush on the girl.
he was always talking to her and when he wasn't talking to her he was talking about her.
junhui started to ask himself if he wasn't good enough for minghao. he started believing that he had to get skinnier so minghao might like him. he had to become a better dancer. he had to improve his singing. he had to become perfect.
he started skipping meals and practiced even more. his whole world revolved around becoming perfect.

his friends noticed that junhui started overworking and skipping meals and tried to make him eat and make him rest. they would send him to bed in time but he would pretend to be asleep till everyone else was asleep just to sneak out to go practice and he would block every try to get him to eat.
there was only one person which was to busy to notice how bad junhui was.
xu minghao.
he was blinded by love and ignored everything around him.

but still he was the one who found junhui.
junhui had collapsed after not sleeping or eating for three days and practicing almost the whole time.
that was the day he noticed how horrible his best friend was.

the first thing he heard when junhui woke up was the voice of his best friend. he held his hand while he whispered four sentences over and over.

"i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry for not noticing how horrible you were doing. i'm sorry. i'm a horrible best friend for forgetting you over a girl."

junhui pretend to be asleep, he didn't wanted to look at him. while pretending to be asleep he fell asleep again.
when he woke up again the warmth around his hand were gone and with him the boy with ramen hair.
when he opened his eyes he saw that he wasn't alone. soonyoung, seungchol and jeonghan were in his room, talking quietly till they noticed him being awake.
jeonghan was the first to talk to him. he was mad. of course he was. but on the other side he also was really worried about his friend.
junhui couldn't concentrate on what jeonghan said and he didn't listened to seungchol lecturing him either.
he really tried to listen to what soonyoing was saying but he couldn't focus on what was being said so he only picked up half of the words they were saying.
they were talking about him having to take more care of himself and that everyone is worried.
even minghao.

the boys visited him every day for the following week he was hospitalized.
but he didn't said a word to minghao.
he noticed that it was the fault of minghao that he was doing so horrible.
he tried to keep the contact to minghao on a minimum and it worked pretty well.
he regained some strength and even if it took some time to get away of all the insecurities he regained a lot of his self esteem.

they were practicing and they all were doing really well, he didn't had problems with keeping his eyes of the younger male.
he didn't till the moment he looked at his concentrated expression and the younger biting his lip out of habit.
that was the first moment after about a month where junhui imagined how his lips would feel on the lips of the other.

only a few days later minghao suddenly changed, the usually happy boy seemed sad.
no one really payed attention to it on the first two days. everyone has bad days. but after him still not getting better after four days they started worrying. jeonghan took care of the chinese boy, because his former best friend was still kind of avoiding him.
jeonghan had sworn to himself that he would never let anything like what happened to junhui happen again.

a week later junhui got over himself and asked his friend what was wrong.
he couldn't help but be a bit happy when the younger told him that lisa broke the contact and they stopped talking.

no one ever told junhui that minghao lied to him.
he wasn't sad because of lisa, even if they did lost contact but because of minghao. he told her to stop talking to him after rejecting her confession.
it wasn't nice and he knew that but he somehow started to dislike the girl after the junhui incident.
it took him quite a while to figure out why but he figured it out.

a year passed and seventeen was once again preparing for their new comeback.
junhui still hasn't got over his feelings and it still drove him crazy to see the other bite his lips.

it was two days before their comeback stage and everyone stayed up late to practice.
it was 2am when everyone was laying in their beds.
everyone except for minghao.
junhui was about to say the younger good night when he noticed that he was missing. he sighted and got up already knowing where the younger was.
he found the younger in the practice room training all by himself. junhui couldn't help but stare at the younger in admiration. he looked really concentrated and he was biting his lip again and this time junhui couldn't help himself.
he rushed to the younger and pressed him against the wall.
the younger was a bit confused and started blushing when he realized how close their faces were.
"duìbuqǐ"
junhui whispered before he closed gap between their lips.

"wǒ'àinǐ"