Yongguk doesn't know about my addiction... Well I'm sure he doesn't know...
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Here I am again.. back in the bathroom, Younguk thinks I'm in the shower, but really I'm staring at the small trail of crimson red thats falling from my wrist... I don't know why I started to cut myself... but it's just the feeling of the blade across my pale skin that makes me want it more... I once tried to stop, but that only lasted three days.
I started to press the blade back onto my skin to made another line across my wrist. I have now made 5 freashly new scars..
"Zelo?? Are you alright?" I dropped the razor, startled by Yonguk's knocking, I rush to turn the sink on and I quickly wash the blood away.
"Uhh... Yea, I'm just getting out.." I wrapped my freshly new cuts and started to get my hair wet; as if to look like I just got out of the shower...
"okay, it was just that you were taking so long.." He chuckled, I smiled, his laugh was so cute. I hope that he doesn't find out about my.. cutting soon.. because I wouldn't know what to tell him... Or what he'll do.. I'm scared that he might just leave me, because I can see that my addiction is kind of getting worse.. but I sometimes feel the need to feel this kind of pain, whenever I cut myself.. "alright well I'm going to go watch T.V"
"okay~ I'll be out soon." I fiddled with my hair a bit more, waiting till I hear the television turn on. I pushed my sleeve down, after I finished wrapping this bandage thingy on my wrist and I opened the door. I made my way towards the tv.
"Yonggukie!!~" I sat beside him and hugged his arm, "I'm hungry... Can we go eat?? :D" I poked his cheek,
Yongguk laughed and he kissed my forehead, "Yea we can go eat. I'll treat you tonight!~" He stood up and I followed behind,
"Okay~ Where are we going?" I poked his arm, and stood in front of him, He smiled his handsome smile and I grabbed his hands "is it somewhere good?"
"Yup! It is a date, so you'll love where we're going!- Eh? Zelo, your bleeding!" He lifted my arm up, but I pulled away... "Zelo?"
"ahh its probably nothing, I must have cutted my finger or something..." I smiled, Damn I must have not tightened the bandage on tight enough.... "well lets go~" Yongguk stood there for a bit.. but he laughed a bit and pushed the issue aside,
"okay lets get going," He grabbed his keys and opened the door to our apartment.
~~At the resturant~~
"Okay here's your menus, and ill be right back with your drinks~" the waitress lady said and she smiled at both of us and walked away.
"so.. what are you going to get?" Yongguk suddenly said. I looked up from my menu
"Are there any cherry tomatoes with any of these meals??" I said a little too excited. Yongguk chuckled,
"Haha, no, there's no cherry tomatoes anywhere babe." he smirked,
I pouted, and opened my menu again to see if he was lying or not.
"Ehhh?? Yonggukiee!! You lied to me!" I pouted even more, showing him the menu, My sleeve rolled down a little bit reveling a bit of my partly bloody bandages... He laughed when he looked at the menu, but his eyes averted to my bandages, His expression looked... confused and his eyes kind of widened... "Uh... See? They have cherry tomatoes withthus certain meal!"
"......." He thought for awhile.. "..Hahaha, They do now? We can get some tomatoes on the side if you want?" He smiled, He must have ingnored the fact that he saw my bandages.. "I'm going to get.... number 4~" :D
"Okay~ I'll get.,....... The same!" I smiled at him, I felt a bit jumpy for no reason, no reason at all.
"Okay, here's your drinks" the waitress was suddenly here. "And are you guys ready for me to take your orders?"
~After Dinner~
"Zelo~" Yongguk said as he opened the door,
"Yea?" I walked inside the apartment and took off my shoes. "What is it?"
I felt Yongguk suddenly wrap his arms around my waist from behind, I smiled, taking grasp of his hands.
"Zelo, saranghae." with that said, he turned me around and kissed me quickly and smiled,
"Saranghae Yongguk." I blushed. He pulled me into a deep hug.
when we parted, he grabbed my arm and I froze.. because that was the arm with the bandages....
"Ano... Yongguk? Want to go watch a movie? I'll make you watch some k-dramas! c:<" I giggled, and tried to pull him towards the living room. I looked towards Yongguk, his expresstion was... serious.
"Zelo.. are you hidding something from me?.." He pulled me towards him and I bit my lower lip,
"uh... a-anio..." I looked down and back towards him, smiling. "Why would I be hidding something from you?" I laughed, Yongguk sighed
"Zelo, babe, please don't lie to me.." He lifted up my arm, I tried to pull back, but he pulled down my sleeve softly and looked at the bandages... "So... this is what you've been hidding from me?"
I could feel the hot tears trail their way down my cheeks. I didn't want him to know... what is he going to do now? get up and leave? just like the rest of them... I pulled my arm away, and covered my face, And I cried, letting the tears come as they please. I felt Yongguk wrap his arms around and I started to feel confused..
"Please dont cry, I dont want to see you cry.." Yongguk whispered into my ear. I tried to stop, but the tears kept coming, I felt him break the hug and he moved my hands, he started to kiss away my tears. "Don't cry.. I'm here for you," He lifted up my arm and started to kiss my scars... I was surprised that we wasn't mad at me...
"...Are you mad at what I'm doing to myself?" I looked him in the eyes, tears were still stinging my eyes, but I tried my best to stop crying.
"Anio. I'm just... disapointed. How come you didnt tell me?" He touched the side of my cheek and I leaned into his touch.
"..." I hesitated, "...Because I didn't know what you would do... I thought yiu would get mad and leave me..."
"I would never leave you, I love you Zelo. I really do, and I dont ever want to be without you... will you try and stop hurting yourself?" he grabbed my hands and held them tight. "please stop cutting.. I will always be here for you, always."
I bit my lip, "I've tried before... But I will try again.." I hugged him and smiled, He actually cares for me, he will always be here for me no matter the reason... I love him. so damn much.
"I love you Yongguk, so much."
~~
Annnnnnddd!
thats it c:
I wrote this for my friend: krista_suzuki
^_______^~
well I hope you enjoyed this, I worked hard on it...
please, rate, comment what you think about it, ano... tell me if I have any typos or whatso ever »_____«
Sorry it's short XD
Bye~~ Luv you for reading this~
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love as crimson red (A BangZelo oneshot)
RomanceZelo has this obsession with hurting himself, he likes the feeling of it... but he doesn't want Yongguk to know about this obsession... what will happen if Bang found out?