He Broke Me but You Can Save Me (Ashton Irwin fanfic)

Chapter 11

Jamie's POV

I can't believe it. Split personality. Ashton is for sure going to leave me. Now I really can't sleep or eat. Why me? I've asked this ever since mom died. I never get an answer. I stared at the blue curtain separating me and Ashton from everyone else. It's 2am and I'm wide awake, but why wouldn't I be? I'm going insane now. I stand up and pace around the room.

"No no no no no." I say repeatedly. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't feel anything except emptiness. I want out of here. I want either out of this hospital, or just plain dead. I'm causing more trouble than ever now. Tears streamed down my face as I unplugged the machine I was hooked to. I took out everything they had stuck in me and headed for the window. I checked around everywhere and made sure everyone was sleeping. When I was sure I was good, I unlocked the window and pushed it open. I laughed bitterly. Stupid bitches. They put us psychos on the fifth floor. I walked back to Ashton and wrote on his arm before kissing his cheek. I walked to Cleveland and did the same except I wrote a lot more. I threw the marker out of the window and stepped up on the ledge. I looked back and then down. This is it. I closed my eyes as more tears fell. I took one step over and fell to the ground. I hit the pavement and felt every bone cracking in my body. I smiled slightly as everything around me faded out.

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I saw a white light. I couldn't move anything. Am I alive? Please don't let me be alive. I can't do life anymore. My eyes fluttered open. Damn it. I winced at the brightness and adjusted to everything around me. I felt someone holding my hand. I turned my head to see Ashton. He was crying and looking at his feet. I looked on the other side of me and found everyone else staring at me.

"Hey, Jame. How ya feeling?" Cleveland asked. Ashton's head snapped up and I immediately started crying.

"I feel terrible. I wanna die." I said. Everyone around me seemed to break down into tears. We sat there and cried and the question that provoked me the most made a bell go off.

"Why am I still alive?" I asked. I jumped a pretty good distance.

"Jamie, we're lucky they got to you when they did. You would've been dead by now if they hadn't. But the doctor did say there's a slim chance for you to make it through the weekend." Cleveland choked out and broke down. I am going to die, but can I really leave my little brother?

"Cleveland, go tell that doctor to work ten times harder than he was planning on because I'm not ready to die. I thought I was, but I can't leave you guys. That's too selfish." I said. Please get me out of here. Let me go home and have a normal life. Like now would be great. Cleveland paced around and cried for several minutes. I scooted over in my bed. Pain shot through my side as I moved and I scrunched my nose from it.

"Cleveland, come here. Lay down with me and dry those tears." I said and he did as he was told. I took my hand from Ashton and cuddled my brother.

"Where's Madison?" I whispered in his ear. He seemed to calm down a little.

"She's asleep. She got really tired from her medicines." He said. I nodded and rubbed his arm soothingly.

"If I might not make it through the weekend, why am I only experiencing stomach aches? Did I break any bones?" I asked. Cleveland sat up and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Strangely, no broken bones. There is something else though." I stared at his green eyes and waited for an answer.

"Well, what is it?" I asked impatiently. I'm the one dying here! I deserve to know!

"Uh...when you fell...you landed on something rather sharp. Somebody had a pocket knife wedged between two cracks in the ground. It went through your stomach." That's why I'm experiencing severe stomach pains.

"Well couldn't they stitch that up?" I asked. Cleveland nodded.

"Did they stitch it up?" I asked and he nodded again.

"Then why the fuck am I not gonna make it through the weekend?" I asked nervously.

"When I tell you this, Jamie, you may want to die again. You'll live as long as you don't try to commit suicide." Cleveland said.

"What do you have to tell me?" I asked. He held me tighter and took in a deep breath.

"Dad came because I mentioned him to a nurse when we first came here. They took him to jail." Cleveland said.

"That's good news! We don't have to see him anymore!" I said in a 'duh' voice.

"Well...when the cops were taking him away....he said that when he got out he'd rape everyone in this building." Cleveland said. That's when panic started to consume me.

"Is he getting out of jail?" I asked worriedly.

"I don't know." Cleveland says.

"Well let's make sure he doesn't! He doesn't deserve to get out if he wants to abuse his own blood!" I screamed. Cleveland started rubbing my arm and kissed my forehead.

"I'm trying, Jame. I really am. Just give it time. I promise everything will get better. Just please don't ever try to commit suicide again." He said and started to cry. A tear slipped from my eyes at his words. I hugged him tighter and kissed his cheek.

"I won't try to ever again. I promise." I muttered and let go of him. He kissed my cheek and got up. Ashton took his place.

"Jamie, I love you more than life itself. I don't know what I'd do if you were dead. Please stay and let me love you." Ashton pleaded while holding me. I kissed his soft lips.

"I love you too." I whispered and we smiled at each other. I sat with everyone and talked for hours. I snuggled closer to Ashton and closed my eyes. It's been a really long day. I now know that I really am loved. I just hate that it took this long for me to realize it. I can't leave my brother, friends, or boyfriend. I have to stay strong just for them. Suicide doesn't make everything better, it ends the possibility of you being happy while you're still alive.