From beyond

Chapter Two

28 days before death.

The last two days went by in a blur, and again, I woke up with a hangover. I then decided not to go to school, and ignored my sister when she knocked on my door, begging me to come out. I knew that all it'd do would start a fight, and we'd been fighting so much lately that I couldn't bear another one. One thing that I knew she wouldn't have realized, and the reason that I'd been drinking so much lately, was that today would have been Chelsea's and my third anniversary. This particular fact was something that I'd done my best to ignore over the last few days because I didn't think that I'd be strong enough to see her after our breakup.

Up until late last night, her and I were just, "taking a break". But then she spoke to me over the phone, complaining about my recent behavior and once she'd hung up, I was single again- something I hadn't banked on happening.

So, my mood was at an all-time low when I woke up to the realization that the girl I loved for so long was no longer mine. Of course, perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised. We'd been on a break for close on a month before she broke up with me, and in that time I'd given her space instead of trying to win her back. Perhaps that was a major fault on my side, but I was too hurt to try making things work. However, I spent almost the entire day thinking about what a fool I'd been and how I'd lost any chance that I had. That made me think about everything that had led up to this point, including the bad things, like when she'd hooked up with one of my best friends- aka, the thing that had caused all the fighting which had led to the break that we'd taken.

I was still lying on my bed, looking up at the ceiling when my sister walked in and sat down next to me, making the bed dip. By now, I knew that Chelsea would have told her what today's date was, and I wasn't in the mood to be pitied. Instead of the sad, puppy-look I'd expected, my sister just grabbed my hand and forced me to sit up. Then she told me to come downstairs in such a demanding voice that I didn't even bother trying to argue. I obeyed her and walked downstairs to find my favorite dinner- carbanorra- on the table and junk food alongside it. I gave Lana a questioning look and she just shrugged, taking a plate and a few packets of chips to the lounge. I followed suit and she pressed play on my favorite movie, The Avengers.

Hours later, both of us were laughing at, "Mean Girls"- a movie that Lana had put on because she thought we both could do with a little bit of hilarious bitchy drama. Although I'd often sat and watched a girly movie with my sister, I'd never really enjoyed myself. I guess it was nice of her to make sure that I was okay today, and so when she caught my eye and smiled, I gave her a genuine one back. After the movie was over, my sister looked at me and we settled into one of our usual heart-to-hearts. I asked her how she was and she told me about all the drama that I'd missed at school. She told me that Chelsea looked horrible today, with puffy eyes and running makeup. I told her I'd rather not talk about Chelsea right now, and then our conversation continued its natural path, where we told each other about our week and everything funny that had happened. Finally, Lana got to the question that I knew she'd based the entire evening around- she asked if I was okay.

Instead of making up a lie, I decided to be completely honest with her. "At the moment, I don't feel all that okay. Everything has kind of ended all at once- football, mom and dad's marriage, my relationship. And I'm struggling to deal with it all". I knew that without saying anything else, she understood what I was saying, and that's why we were so close. After all, she was also dealing with the divorce like I was, and with a pang of guilt, I realized that I hadn't been there for her at all.

We talked a bit more and then we decided to go to bed. As I reached my door, she turned around and walked back to me. "Please try not to drink so much, Lukey, Im worried," and then she gave me the tightest hug I'd received from her in years. I wasn't sure how to respond to her, as I felt like I needed to drink to feel better, so I just stayed silent and watched her close her door.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow- the first time that had happened in weeks without me being intoxicated. Maybe things would start to come right again, and maybe the bad stuff would start to ease up..

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