I just sat there, trembling.
I didn't quite know what else to do, so I just sat there-
-trembling.
I thought I'd get over it, thought it would leave my mind and I would be able to continue with my lifeless life, but no.
Here I was- sat on the cold, wet pavement- with blood all over my face, hands and shirt and trembling from head to toe.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I moved my trembling hands towards my face. I stared intently at the blood on my hands, already drying and turning into deep red flakes round my fingernails. I cautiously licked my palm, and the roar in my throat burned like a chimney first experiencing the heat from the flame licks of the burning fire. I hated the taste- like dirty, rusted metal... a penny in my mouth. However I lusted for the taste; needed it was an understatement.
I sucked thoughtfully on my bottom lip whilst I stared at the severed body in front of me. I didnt know what to do with it, I knew Jake would kill me if I was suspected by the police and put the pack in danger. Literally, kill me. I began cleaning myself up- slurping the blood through the cotton of my shirt, leaving it clean. I licked my mouth and round the pavement where the blood had stained- I needent worry about getting ill. I then swiftly tucked the carcass under my arm-supporting him by the waist and lolled his broken neck on my shoulder to give off the impression of a drunk partner and not a dead body- and walked barefoot down the street, with a brisk pace and a plain expression.
***
'Where the fuck have you been' Jake hissed, grabbing my wrist as I tried to hurry past him.
'I got hungry-' I began, my voice trembling and weak. I sounded like a child who'd stolen a candy bar from the shop... Instead I'd sucked the life out of an innocent man.
'What?!' Jake growled, seizing my hair and pulling my face up to look straight into his glowing red eyes.
'D-don't worry, I burned the body and dumped the ashes in the river-'
'And the clothes?'
'Yes, and the clothes. Everything's gone. No blood, no mess... And it's been raining all evening, any DNA's been washed down the drain.' I babbled quickly, before he made any more pre-judgements and punished me for them.
'...Okay.' He said, sighing. He kissed me, pushing himself against me and softening his grip on my hair.
'And if anyone finds out about your little snack...' He whispered into my ear, stroking my hair delicately.
'I will kill you.' He said, and slapped me, knocking me across the room.
'Do you understand?' He said sweetly.
'I understand.'
***
I woke with a start the next morning, hearing screams from downstairs and Jake shouting. I bet it was Clarissa again, with her sloppy murders. I hoped Jake was killing her so we wouldn't have to bother with her any more. But no, he was just beating her. Fuck sake, he's too soft on her... Just because she's his sister shouldn't account for all the times she's nearly got us all killed. I'd kill her myself if it wouldn't cost me my existence. Sometimes I wonder why I'm trying so hard to survive... Just because I know I'll go to hell when I die, I guess.
But then I'm already in hell.
I sat downstairs with Oliver and Finnley, they had the tv up loud enough to drown out Clarissa and Jake.
'So how exactly do you plan to date this chick when you'll just wanna suck her guts out?'
'I don't know... She's so hot though. Fucking hate being a vampire, all this living forever shit is boring when you can't date anyone but vampire chicks... And even then if you date one from another pack and leave her you've got a whole pack out to kill you for eternity, Jake's enough to handle thanks.'
