The Loss Within: Stalia

Chapter 1

After the brake up with Stiles nothing feels right anymore. I don't feel right. Something is out of place. I think...I think every minute I'm away from him, I'm closer to loosing my humanity. The one thing I've fought for since Scott shifted me. Stiles kind of represented who I wanted to become. I'm really confused. Did I do something wrong? Did he thinl when I said that it didn't matter to me that he killed Donovan, that I meant I didn't care about him?
"Malia!" Mr Yukimura screams at me with annoyance. I snap out. Stiles doesn't turn around to see him and I don't know but I want him too. Really bad.
"Um, sorry." I say just trying to pull an apologetic look. Which I fail because I'm too cold to be sorry. It wasn't always that way.

---

I walk down the hallway and open my locker. I get my books out and shove my sweater in there with rage. Why? No idea. As I close my locker, Theo stands there. Just giving me a boyish smirk leaning against the wall. I stare and our eyes lock.
"What?" I spit. He just blinks a couple of times.
"A little moody are we?" He raises and eyebrow. He's right, I'm kind of overreacting. But I mean, he's Theo.
"Ugh. Just go away already." I say turning my back and walking down the hall. But he grabs my arm. I turn to him and growl. Then I make sure no one is looking and take out my claws on my left hand and snatch his hand away. He just pulls away. Hissing at me.
"I just want to tell you that I'm here for you... Malia, I'm here." He says giving me a nice guy look. For a second I almost believe it but I know he's the bad guy, he is the problem.
"Suuuure. And the moon is made of cheese." I say rolling my eyes and starting to walk forward. And before I leave he yells something.
"Only if you believe so,". As I turn the corner. I get his scent. Stiles' scent. I try to back off but it's too late so I keep turning the corner. And there he is staring at the floor. My heart pounds in my chest and he lifts his head. Our eyes lock. And for a moment. A second, I feel hope. That maybe he'll talk to me and we'll be back to where we used to be. My sarcastic Stiles and his fierce Malia who sucks at math...but...he ditches me.
Something aches as he walks past me. Not saying a word. I have learned people use the word 'heart' to represent what we feel. And I read in a poem once in Stiles' desk a verse saying: "A shatter heart/ A new start". I didn't understand how a hearts can 'shatter'. But now... I know. And freaking hurts. A lot. How can you pick the pieces and be whole again if the only person that could possibly do it, is gone.
I don't realize I've stopped and that I'm staring at nothing. I keep walking and I feel a warmth in my eyes.
I can't stand being on those halls. I storm out and Scott sees me. I know he knows something's wrong. I know he is walking behind me. But I don't care. I run as fast as I can. Because I know I can outrun him. I don't have a home anymore. Stiles. He was home. But I have to stop depending on him. Th only place I think I can go is my dad's house but I can't look at him and see the pain that still lingers for my mother's and sister's death. Knowing its my fault. Everything is. Before I can notice I'm in the woods.
The dark has control over the sky. And I find comfort in it. I know I have to sleep here. If  not where? I still need to get my stuff out Stile's house.Coldness wraps around my shoulders but I don't care because as long as I can tell it's the only thing I have right now. I want to cry but I can't. I'm loosing the sense to feel.

I don't go to school. I know I'll just wander off space every class so it's better that way. I know Stiles is at school so I go through the window. His dashboard full of red string. The color code. I remember. I just shove my cloths into my backpack and I hear Stiles' jeep parking. Shit. Why did I take so long. Stiles gets in the house. But Scott sniffs around. Fuck. He looks up and his eyes widens.
"Malia..." He whispers. I stare into his eyes and hear Stiles calling for him. I just place a finger on my lips showing him I want him not to tell on me. He just agrees and hurries inside. I grab my stuff and run as fast as I can.
An hour later Scott calls me. I'm on the woods but somehow there's reception. Thank gosh. I admit the call.
"Malia... Where have you been?" He asks with concern. I don't say anything.
"I couldn't find you. Something is wrong. Don't you dare lie to me. What is it?" He asks I can feel he is eager for answers. But I also want one.
"Scott. I want you to be honest....Did he notice?" I ask. Why did I just do that?!
"What are- Who?"He asks. There's a pause. He just sighs he knows I'm talking about Stiles. "Scott. Tell me. Now." I imply.
"No, Malia. But maybe he doesn't show it." I stay quiet. He doesn't care anymore.
"You okay?" He says sounding really sorry.
"Uhu." I just say. "Malia we need to meet." He demands but I don't want to. I don't want to see Stiles and repeat what I have repeated to myself many times.
'He's not yours.'

A/N: If anyone is reading this, I'd be surprised. It's  4:00 AM and I can't sleep and the only thing that crosses my mind is..."Hey, what about a WattPad story? How bout the one you've been siting on Notes?" And I go: "Hell yeah. Wait don't I have school tomorrow?" My brain goes: "You're sleep deprived anyway." 👈🏼Yes, I do talk to myself.

👑Anyway, HUGE THANKS IF YOU READ THIS CHAPTER❤️