Moving On

Where your skin was once full of a glow that came from being Namjoon's best friend was a small hole with fading edges.

Kim Namjoon was a gentle soul with a pentiant for breaking things, but you had known him a long time before that trait started to show itself. Your reign as Joonie's best friend started out with you being this purple ball he would stare at as an infant. As he began to develop and recognize more shapes, you had began to take on different forms. Your corporeal form depended largely on how Namjoon was feeling, after all, best imaginary friends serve to please. For the larger part of his first five years, you were a talking teddy bear.

The day he started school was the first day you had taken a human body. He had never changed you from that body, but you did grow with him. Some changes were inevitable. You followed him to school everyday after that, and helped with homework, but only when necessary because one day, he was going to move past you and you were going to fade to the nothingness that sat in the back of his head. That was simply the way things had to be. You had seen what had happened to beings who were unable to let their friends go. They became corrupted, and that level of wrongness eventually found it's way back to the person. There were hospitals just for them. Of course, the doctors who worked there often times couldn't fix it because they had forgotten. That was the way it had to be, and you had always thought you would be ready for the day that Namjoon did not need you.

Over the years, Namjoon had grown out of his round faced and chubby cheeked form into that of a strong, proud young man who had his head screwed tightly onto his shoulders. You felt that you had helped, just a bit, to get him where he was. Your form had also changed. Your spirit was currently molded to fit the looks of a young woman, around Namjoon's age. You had (h/l) (h/c) hair and warm (e/c) eyes that were set nicely in your face. You couldn't actually see what you looked like, but Nams drew you sometimes, and you loved it. Pale skin, long legs and always, always, always, red converse high tops. Namjoon had an obsession with white t-shirts and black skinny jeans with red converse high tops to cap the look off. But you rolled with it.

You were currently sitting on the foot of Namjoon's bed, watching him pack his room away. He would be leaving most of the posters and trophies and larger nicknacks here, but he needed his clothes and books and some other stuff. Enough other stuff that he had been packing all day.

"How are we going to travel?" You questioned, "In style, or with our hoods pulled down low and face masks covering the other half of our faces, so no one recognizes one of Big Hit Entertainment's newest and most prospective trainees?"

Namjoon had been scouted by Big Hit to train as a hopeful member of their newest project, the Bangtan Boys. He was so excited and you were so proud of him.

"About that," he looked at you with a very serious face that you had only seen once before, when his pet fish had died, "I'm going to need to keep you in the trunk with my shoes so you don't get lost. I don't trust you in train stations."

All trace of his business face melted as his voice lifted in peels of laughter brighter than the four o'clock sunshine. You chucked a pillow at his head that would not actually ever reach him.

"I just threw a pillow at your head, and it hurt like a bitch when it hit, okay?" Namjoon pretended to clutch his head and make a face that caused you to nearly roll right off his bed in laughter. You hoped he never stopped making those expressions.

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The Big Hit dorms were slightly cramped and while you were indeed imaginary, you could still be lost and never found, and you didn't trust yourself to leave the room and explore Seoul. You and Namjoon had been there for about a week before you were sick of the dorms. You had explored every inch by walking through counters so you could see all the way to the back, or by flattening yourself to the thickness of paper and sliding under the furniture. When he had the time to talk, you would regale Namjoon with the stories the dust bunnies had whispered in your ear about the dorms' previous occupants, or the stories about how they came to be little balls of memories. Those times spent together had become less and less as the intensity of the training picked up.

The day the boy with the old soul showed up was the day things really started to change. Namjoon and the boy named Yoongi instantly clicked, and it was a good thing too, seeing as he was the next member of Namjoon's group. You had been waiting to be introduced when you remembered that of course you weren't going to meet Yoongi. When Namjoon had walked in, he commented that you were seeming more pale than usual, and had gone to bed. A while later, another boy came to the dorms. He had a core of sunshine in his soul, and in your heart, you knew he was going to take care of your boy.

That was the first time you had noticed the little holes, no bigger than a small birthmark, that had started to appear on your legs. You could see through them and onto the dark material that made up Namjoon's comforter. So you had begun to prepare a speech for him. Your time with the sweet, round faced boy and the same man with the deep, rich voice and beautiful features was coming to the long feared end. However sad you were, you simply would not allow for his dreams to end because you were too selfish to leave him to grow on his own.

That night, you discovered a hole the size of an apple in your midsection.

You were curled in a corner of Namjoon's tiny closet when you heard his door swing open, and his sweet voice call for you. You inhaled several deep breaths and allowed your body to float through the door and carry itself to the bed. You shut your eyes and motioned for him to sit next to you. When you sensed the bed dip, you began. You told him what was happening, what would happen if you stayed with him. You thanked him for the wonderful life and wished him the very best possible future.

"But (Y/N). I don't understand! Why do you have to go? Aren't you happy with being my friend?" He cried, and you were positive that, if you could cry, you would be flooding the dorm.

Instead of the on the spot meltdown you wanted to have, you hugged him tight.

"Oh Nams. Of course I want to stay with you forever and ever. I want to watch you succeed and fall in love and play with your kids and attend every concert you ever have. I want to help you write raps and bond with your group mates and fans. But you don't need me anymore. Maybe you did when you were just a lonely nerd," at this he lightly punched you and took a shaking laugh, and you smiled, "but you are a grown man who doesn't need some weird little waif you fashioned into who I am now. Remember the dust bunnies? I'll be under the couch in this dorm for however long I am allowed and watch over you and your boys."

He snuffled and rubbed at his eyes before he went to hug you, but his arms merely passed through the space you had occupied. You gave him a small smile and whispered your last words of advice.

"Take comfort in those around you and move on. Have a wonderful life Nams!"

The last thing he saw was a little purple ball before you were completely gone.

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In the following years, Namjoon met the rest of his group members, debuted, and made a name for himself and his newly acquired brothers. When the time came to move to a new dorm, he swept up the dust that had collected under his bed, and put it in a little jar. He kept the little jar by his bedside and when he found himself in need of your company, he would twist the lid open and talk to you, never expecting an answer, but relaxed all the same. Sometimes, he would be up late into the night working on his music and need a bit of inspiration, and he would think back on the nearly two decades he had spent with you by his side.

When he and his wife had their first child, he would watch, amazed, as his little prince would seemingly stare at nothing for hours, laughing occasionally, and reaching to grab at air. His wife said he was just doing normal baby things, but Namjoon knew, because he never forgot.

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A/N: I justed wanted to say a few quick things that are important to anyone who bothers to read author's notes. First of all, I wanted to dedicate this to my dear friend who has been reading and helping fix my Bangtan Stories into stuff people actually want to read. That being said, follow her on Tumblr (sage-turtley) and on Wattpad (@SageWritings). She hasn't got much, but she's the coolest person around.

Next, almost nothing in this story followed any form of an actual timeline, except maybe Yoongi being the second in the dorm after Nams. Sorry about that, but I didn't particularly feel like doing all that research. Sorry if that bothered you.

Finally, thanks so much for reading!