Look How Far We've Come

Night Thinking

Chicago nights aren't like New York Nights, I bet. They're not quite as loud, but there is night activity. So laying in bed at night is never the silent ringing you sometimes hear, but that's okay; I've always liked a little noise at night. Usually soft music on a summer night and a ceiling fan is my favorite, but in the city, some action noise is nice. I've also always liked a little light at night, too. It comes from being an easily scared child who read Goosebumps. So my semi-transparent curtains let in just enough city lights to be comfortable. I've always loved the Chicago Skyline and now I'm a part of it. And now I know my friends are, too.

We're all here. With everyone back in my life, I'm starting to feel things I haven't felt in a while. I'm starting to think and remember things. Back in high school I would spend nights thinking about where would end up, how I felt about myself, how I felt about others. Nights were time for myself back then. Now a days, nights were for recovering from a long day of class and homework. In summer, nights were for drawing and being social. Tonight, though, is for thinking back.

I remember orchestra class. Emily, Umar, Anna, and I all were in separate sections in class, but we always would make faces across the orchestra at each other. Getting excited about "Beauty and the Beast" and "Star Wars." Dreading "Apotheosis" and "Winter Palace." That class, also, assured that us four would have the same lunch all four years, though we didn't start eating together until sophomore year.

I think about Smash Bros, lunch, Mullins, Fisher, Hopping, "easy money," fireworks, Baker's house, Christmas time. Sweet memories.

I remember late nights talking to Baker or Emily or Umar or C about whatever happened that day or whatever deep thought was on my mind that night. They were always willing to listen to whatever shit was on my mind. And I'm very thankful. Everyone had made me so happy in those years.

In all my thinking, my mind goes back to one night in the late summer of 2016. Night swimming.

Jackson had band that night and we didn't know if he would make it, but it was the only day that would work for most of us. We spent the first couple hours in Baker's walk-out basement playing Texas Hold 'Em with M&Ms and playing BS. Umar and Baker tried to teach C and I how to play Euchre; it didn't stick. A few hours later we changed and went out and up to the pool.

Baker turned on the color-changing lights and we were all amazed. Red to green to purple to pink to blue to white lights. The night was nice. Only partially cloudy and no wind. It was cold at first, of course, but you'd warm up quick. Baker and C would swim together, where she went, he wasn't far behind. He hugged her as they treaded, and I'll admit it was cute at times. Emily and I would randomly splash each other until someone gave up. I believe we got Baker a few times. Umar rolled around the edge of the pool quietly as he muttered "stealth turtle" before he'd slide head first into the pool, just to get out and do it all over again. Emily would randomly throw in "Sea turtle noises!" Which would get a giggle from Ceci, which would get a smile from Baker.

There was a little, plastic basketball hoop on one edge of the peanut-shaped pool. You could jump from one edge of the side and dunk the ball across the short distance of the pool. Baker did it successfully and I think Umar and C did as well. Emily and I sat back and watched, giving out ratings. Jackson showed up, to all of our enjoyment, and we told him about the basketball dunking game. So he takes the ball. And I remember Disney Radio on Pandora playing from my phone going as Jackson takes a running start and jumps off the ledge. He makes the dunk, but his hand holds the rim and both he and the little tykes hoop fall into the pool. No one was hurt, luckily, but the plastic rim of the hoop got bent put of place. Emily was making fun of Jackson for "breaking it" while the boys fix it to the sounds of laughs of the girls.

After a while, we knew the party was drawing to a close. We got out and each got towels and changed, or put covers on. The music from the speaker was so soft as people wrapped towels around themselves to shield themselves from a cool night attacking wet skin. Everyone was putting t shirts and glasses back on. But I feel an urge, I don't know why, but I go the the most shallow end of the pool and sit on the edge, my feet in the water. My towel was wrapped around my shoulders and my hair was drying. I look up at the sky; I could see stars through the small clouds. I feel something; a person, who had sat on the edge of the pool with me about four feet to my left. Out of the corner of my eye, I can tell it was Umar. I stare out into the blue tones of white light in the pool when I see feet beside and behind me, C's feet at my four o' clock. I knew she was leaning on Baker's left shoulder and he was leaning his head on hers. And finally, I got the sense that Emily was with Jackson behind and between C and me. His left arm was around her, trying to keep her warm although she had a towel. We all stared out, whether it be at the water or the sky or the head in front of us. We stared in silence. Six high schoolers sharing a soft moment. The night was quiet, much like the one that I listen to now. Slight noise in the background, but just enough to make it peaceful. This image is a moment that filled me and made me warm. I had a great group of friends who were there for me as I am to them. Friends who are all with me again. Friends who love me. Friends that I love.