Hi
I have decided to put everything I wanted to say to you on paper and into words
So here goes
I miss you
My body feels like the lost city of Atlantis without you around
I feel out of place and I've begun to think that this was your plan all along
Yet I still forgive you
Although I cannot have you I am still fixated on the idea of you coming back
I know it's not going to happen but I still like to think about it
I understand why you left but I don't understand why you ripped my skeleton from my body and hung it up at the back of your closet
My skin remembers what it felt like to be touched by you
My knuckles long for your thumb to trace them
The small of my back awaits your hands that fit so perfectly
My heart would stop pumping blood if it meant you could fill my veins with your poison just once more
You ruined so many things for me
I can't drink black coffee anymore because it resembles the forests in your eyes
I hate art because that's what we spent hours looking at
I hate Monday's
I hate Tuesdays
I hate the 22 of August and I hate 7:43 pm
You also ruined Bob Ross
Fuck you for that
But I always end up reverting to what I said at the start of this letter
I miss you
And yes sometimes that creates a fire inside of me
Other times it just brings an ocean that I cannot swim in
You hurt me
You took a part of me and you refuse to give it back
Everytime I see you my knees grow weak as if they aged one hundred years in a matter of seconds
My heart become a wild animal trying to escape its enclosure
I won't fight with you anymore
Just don't give me a reason to want to