Blades of Silence (Jaspar fanfic)

"You know you truly love somebody."

sorry for how short the chapters have been, I know it's really annoying and honestly it annoys me too.

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I was on my way to Zoe's, it's time like these where I think back to when me and Caspar 'split up' the first time. I called Zoe to explain the situation, and she said that Caspar just needs some time.

When I arrive at Zoe's my phone goes off, knowing that it is Caspar I ignore it continuing to tell Zoe what happened. after I get rid of my tears, I reply to Caspar. I tell him I'll be back in a couple of days falling asleep angry in the comfort of Zoe's house.

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I wake up the next morning to hear Zoe talking to Alfie.  i hid behind the corner listening to there conversation

"Alf, he can't stay. Joe doesn't want to see him. I have to protect my little brother he's bee thru a lot this year. He can talk to Caspar when he's ready."

"Zoe, the poor bloke is crying, he said he can't stand to look at him self in the mirror."

I think back to when, me and Caspar first fought, coming home to the marks on his wrist. It broke my heart into pieces

I walk around the corner acting like I didn't hear what they just said, rubbing my eyes as if I just woke up. "Morning," I rasp out Zoe stands up quickly smiling at me.

"Good morning. Are you feeling better?" She ask with sympathy.

"Actually, I am. I think I'm going to head home now, actually talk it out with Caspar." I say pulling at my shirt and itching my stomach.

Ever since my stomach has healed it has been really itchy. It's extremely annoying but, the doctor said that it's common, so I'll just stick it out.

Zoe nods her head at me and smiles. sounds like a good plan.

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On the way home I run into a few fans, them smiling sadly at me. We take pictures, as I'm about to leave one boy runs up and hugs me handing me a piece of paper.

"Will you give this to Caspar, please" he whispers. "I love him a lot and I hope all this horrible stuff being said about him doesn't make him forget there is still a lot of people that love him." I nod my head smiling at the boy.

"I didn't catch your name." I speak to him.

"Oh! It's Carter McNally." He says sticking his hand out towards me. I freeze for 2 seconds hearing his name, shaking his hand. The one thing we didn't tell the viewers. Our little boys names.

"Thank you so much, Carter." I say quietly. "Bye Joe!" He waves as his friends call him over.

I ride on the train watching everything pass by in a blur. my head filled with random thoughts, one sticks out. I should call Caspar to tell him I'm on my way home.

I pick up my phone, seeing no text. I unlock my phone dialing Caspar's number quickly.

ring after ring I grow more worried.

Finally the dial tone breaks, and I hear his voice.

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"JOE? Joe, babe!" His voice is desperate and broken.  "Hi." I say softly.   "Hi! Hey. When are you coming home?" he asks in a rush.   "Right now. I'm on the train." I say "Oh thank goodness. Joe I'm so sorry I've been acting like a Rodney lately." He apologizes "It's okay love, Are you okay?" I ask. I listen to his voice break as he say "I'm so sorry Joe I didn't know what else to do.. I-I feel like a failure."

"Caspar, did you- um did you hurt yourself?" I ask quietly trying to not let anyone hear my conversation.
 He doesn't answer for sometime. Which answers my question. I frown and look down at my other hand, "I'll be home in a bit Caspar."  I listen for any conformation that he heard me.

"I love you." I say. "I love you too, so much Joe." I smile sadly at his broken voice.

"Bye."
"Bye."

I hang up the phone sighing to myself.  Only five more minutes on this train, then I will hold Caspar and show him that I love him.

---(sorry for all the time skips)---

In the uber I talk to the woman driving about life and she says something that makes my heart fall in love with Caspar all over again. "You know you truly love somebody, when they hurt you so badly, but you can only think about the times when they made you smile."  we arrive at the house and I thank the lady handing her money. Telling her to keep the change. She smiles, thanking me and driving away.

I look up the stairs, at the big white doors. Walking up carefully, I take in a breath pushing it out as the door opens after I unlock it.

"Caspar?" I call out.

I here a door open and loud footsteps coming up the stairs.

No words were said. We just stared at each other, "Come here." I say gesturing him towards me.
 He takes quick steps, he wraps his arms around me pulling me closer to him. "I'm so sorry I've been shutting you out. I thought I could deal with it myself."

"Caspar, did you... ya know" I look up at him.

"It's not an issue," He says looking at me smiling.

"Why are you lying to me when you know that I can tell?" I say shaking my head and struggling out of his grip.

I grab his hands, not seeing any wounds. I look up at him looking into his eyes.

"Not there, the viewers would see." he points down to his thighs "there." he states blankly.

My eyes threaten to spill tears. i pull him down to my height kissing him passionately, I run my arms to the back of his neck,  and he pulls me in closer setting his hands on my waist.

He pulls away for air putting his face in the crook of my neck. I kiss up and down his neck.

I forgot how great it felt to kiss him. "Joe, I'm so sorry." he speaks softly into my ear. "You know I'll never stop loving you Caspar. Ever" I tell him.
"Come on." I say unwrapping my hands from him and pulling him towards the stairs.  "What are we doing?" He ask gripping my hand back.

"I'm going to show you how much I love you Caspar Lee." I look at him smiling and he nods his head slowly. "Okay."

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 Thanks for reading. I think you know what's coming in the next chapter ;) (Caspar). Any who I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you have any questions or concerns. please feel free to contact me. Until next time, Buh-Bye.