The Choice [Mashlum]

chapter seven

A/N warning, it's kind of an emotional chapter x 

^^^

Michael was sat on the beach watching the waves crash onto land. He had a bottle of whiskey in his hand that he kept taking swigs of. He knew it was around nine or ten at night because it was dark but not too dark. The only light coming from the kitchen of their house that he had left on after finding the bottle of liquor. He had come out to the beach just after Luke had dropped him off. Michael hated the beach but Calum and Ashton loved it, they loved that feeling of sand between their toes, Michael hated it but he wanted to feel close to the two of them even though they left him in the middle of the road, although Michael did ask them to so he can't be mad for that, but Michael is hurt. He's so sad and alone. He hates feeling alone. He hates that his mom did this to him, he wishes she was more accepting of his relationship. Calum and Ashton's families welcomed the three of them with open arms. Michael knows he should have let Ashton talk, but he was worried what the older boy would say and sure he probably wasn't going to break Michael's heart but Michael is so pessimistic, Calum is the optimistic one of the three of them and Ashton is in the middle. Because Michael is so pessimistic he can't help but think of the worst possible outcomes of scenarios. Especially when he's drunk.

They shouldn't have fought, Michael should have told them, it wasn't fair to Calum and Ashton, and it wasn't fair for Michael to be suffering when they really just needed to talk it all out. The other thing is that Michael shouldn't have taken what his mom said to heart, he said it himself he didn't have to choose, that he didn't want to choose, he shouldn't have let his mom get under his skin. That would have solved all problems. His mom isn't in the relationship, and it is a healthy relationship, he doesn't understand why she hates it so much. Even when Michael went to visit he could only bring one of the boys and he hated the fact that he even had to choose, that was the first year of their relationship, now though, now Michael just goes on his own because he hates to see the judgement in her eyes. He didn't want to put Calum and Ashton through that. He loved them so much, probably too much if that was a thing, he was so in love with both of them that it hurt. He didn't get jealous, not really but he did think that Calum and Ashton spent most of their time together and then Michael. Maybe if he started to drive Calum to work more or get a different job that had the same hours as the other boys so he wasn't coming home at late hours missing both of their days. He was in the relationship but he didn't really feel like he was present enough in it.

Michael was drunk, he knew he was, he figured he'd have to sleep out on the beach for the night because there was no way he was making it into the house by himself and he stopped checking his phone hours ago, hell he didn't even have it on him, it was in the house which was kind of a dumb and smart move. Smart because he couldn't drunk dial or text which was never good, but dumb because he couldn't call for help, he was on a private beach so there would be no random people walking by, and their neighbours are older so they would probably be in bed already. He didn't know when the other two would be getting back either. Maybe getting drunk on a beach was a bad idea.

Michael had tears in his eyes, he wished the pain would go away, he wished he was a better boyfriend, he wished the boys loved him the way he loved them, he doesn't want to lose them. He took another sip of the almost empty bottle of whiskey, had he really drank that much? He just wanted someone to hold him.

Michael didn't know how long it was until he started hearing voices coming from behind him, but because the alcohol it blurred his hearing, he didn't know who was coming. He didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Oh my god Michael! What did you do?" Ashton asked as he crouched down in front of his boyfriend.

"Y-you, y-ou left me, you b-both left m-me, I- I know I said to, but it h-hurt s-so much, do y-you not l-ove me?" Michael croaked out slurring his words.