When I Get Back

Something Different

Life has always been pretty overrated in my opinion. It's just a cycle: birth, reproduction, death. Oh sure, there are plenty of "fun" things people go through to make it seem interesting. You know, like, pool parties, your best friends, and that one little thing called "high school." Fun, right? Yeah, tons. But when you die, you start to see things about life you never had noticed before. Things you never appreciated until it vanished from your eyes...at least, that's how it was for me.

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My name is Katrina Marie Glass. I'm 16 years old. And I'm dead. Like, literally dead. See, I didn't have a happy life, and to cut things short (TALK ABOUT A PLAY ON WORDS), I decided to cut my life short. Ah, yes, before you judge, don't tell me you never thought about doing it. Or maybe please do tell me that and promise me you'll never consider suicide as a legitimate option. Because let me tell you, it's not fun. And death is nothing short of boring. It's not like high school, it's not like home life on Earth. There may not be any suffering in the Afterlife, but there sure as hell isn't anything amazing here either. We don't even get food, since we don't need it. How's that for depressing? When I got here, it took me a while to get used to the way things run here. But that's normal for most everyone, and really you have all of eternity to learn so I wouldn't dwell too much on it. In fact, I have a friend here who still does her normal Earth routine and she's been here a span of fifteen months. So, maybe some never grow out of it. I don't know though...I've only been here a week. It'll take some getting used to I guess. 

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Day of Death: October 13, Friday

"Katrina! Get up, get up! You have to be at school for chess this morning early." Oh lordy, my mother will never let me skip chess, even just ONCE in my life. 

"Ughhhh...Mother. Can I just go late this morning? What time is it anyway?" I want to check the time but my phone isn't on my-- fuck! Where the hell did it- 

"Your phone is downstairs on the kitchen table, along with cereal and apple juice. Dad remembered that you don't like orange juice." She smiled, as if I was to be pleased about that.

"Wow, I'm glad he remembers a basic fact about his daughter. Does he also realize he is the same man that forgot Toby's birthday? Or my soccer tournament? C'mon Mother." I know, I know, I'm harsh, and bratty, but my dad was never around anymore. It's like all he cared about was his job.

"He's providing for the family, now that I can't work. Don't punish him too hard. Now go, before your cereal gets soggy." I feel bad now, they're both tired and now that my mother is pregnant, it'll be even harder for life to be normal. In fact, there's no chance of that happening again. 

"Alright, I'm sorry Mother." With that, she leaves my room. It's quite dark and I love it. They finally relented and let me paint the room red with black stripes. It took forever but it was worth it. I love this place more than anything really. I go to my closet and take out a simple red sweater dress with black leggings and black boots. It's not fancy, but it's comfortable and yesterday I heard it was supposed to be around 50 degrees so I'll be warm if I go outside. Illinois might be boring, but autumn is the best here. I go to the bathroom and I change into my outfit. I look in the mirror and see that my hazel-green eyes are framed by purple rings. Lately, I've noticed I always look tired. Dark circles, puffy eyes. I put on concealer to hide the dark circles. Studying for junior year is stressful but it seems like I'm the only one suffering. Oh well. I straighten my blue hair until it can't be straightened any more. 

After breakfast I get my keys and start to head out the door when my dad catches me. 

"Hey Katrina, do you think you could take toby to school today? I have an appointment early this morning and I would really appreciate it. I understand if you're busy though." He seems so tired as well. I sigh. I feel bad that I'm always so critical when he just wants the best for his family. 

"Sure Dad. I'd love to! Good luck with your appointment!" I smile at him. It's rare when I smile, and he seems surprised. 

"Thanks so much, love you." 

"Love you too." He leaves to get ready. He's a psychologist and so he has to meet with clients regularly. Normally it's not early, but he always tries to accommodate the schedules of those he meets with. He's a good guy, and a genuine psychologist. 

Oh god. Toby's racing down the stairs with three bags and his friends Michael and Shawn. They're nine years old and in the fourth grade. Toby's blonde hair is messy while Shawn's brown hair is brushed neatly to one side. And Michael's is...well it's Michael's. 

"Hey guys, I gotta take y'all to school today. Is that all right?"

"Where's dad, I thought he was taking us."

"He's busy, okay? Let's go." After a few groans from the whiny boys they got in my truck and I drove 'em to the school. 

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School has never been as slow as it has been now. And I swear everyone in my English class is looking at me. Is it my hair? My outfit? I know it's lame, but did someone say something about me? I'm paranoid and I don't like it. 10 minutes in and we're talking about Transcendentalism. 20 minutes in and we're talking about Emerson's style of writing. I can't deal with this. I hear snickers and I definitely see Alison Summers and Chloe Evans looking at me. The two girls who have it in for me. I'm scared. Could they have found out- No. They couldn't have. derek wouldn't have told. Would he? I'm doubting now. I can't. But if I ask for a pass, they'd all laugh and they'd win. They can't win. I won't let them. 7 minutes left. I can do this. But I can't. Why does it have to be seven? Why can't it be six, so it's even. Or four. 

"Kat? Can you answer the question?" The class erupts in laughter. I'm dying now. I swear I'm blushing. I can hear the blood rushing to my head, I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. 

"I- I'm sorry. Could you repeat the question?" I say muffled behind my sleeve. Hopefully he can hear me...? Yes! He's looking at me. 

"What page can we find examples of Emerson's use of the Age of Reasoning style in his writing?" The class is laughing. Why...? My best friend Abby catches my eye. She shakes her head. I immediately get it. Not today world. I win.

"I don't believe you even asked me a question." I stare defiantly at him. His eyes are a piercing blue. They annoy me. As does everything, nothing new.

"Correct, but do you know?" The bell rings. 

"Ah, saved by the bell. Kat, see me after school. Have a good weekend, don't party too hard."

Abby sidles up next to me. We start walking to my next class.

"Hey."

"Yo, what's up?" I say.

"A lot and it's not good. At all. Kat, this is bad."

"What?" Oh god, I'm panicking. 

"Derek told. He sent a video out to everyone last night."

"No...no he can't have! No." I'm crying. I can't do this. 

"It...only shows you. Not him, not Adam, not Jess, and not..."

"Not you." Fuck, I knew I shouldn't have gone. 

"I'm so sorry. Kat, it'll be okay." 

"Whatever, it was my fault I went along. I should've told the moment you guys asked me to get in on it."

"I just want you to know, Alison and Chloe, they're the ones calling you a filthy rat, and a dirty thief."

Great, great. I decide to leave. Now, away from the school.

I walk through the hallway of laughs, snickers. 

"We all knew it was gonna happen. I'm so concerned for this school now. Ugh. It makes me sick to think that THIEF is here, amongst our things." Alison is such a bitch. 

I can't. I'll text them later, but now. I have to go home.