Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

Die Nacht öffnet ihren Schoß

Once upon a time, I was a very important person. I was a lover, an avid smoker, a film enthusiast and very loyal to the Nazi regime I was associated with. I had an amazing life with all the wealth I could ask for. I was engaged to an amazing man and everything was perfect. My life changed, however, when one morning I just woke up and hated everything. A darkness fell over me and I no longer wanted to be a part of this life I had lived for my entire 25 years. The actions I took in the days to come, not only brought me to the verge of death, but to a man that seemed to have the same realization as I did, for if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been in that prison with me.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

It was only on the eve of my wedding that I had become aware of how overdone and utterly revolting the whole ordeal was. There was to be over 500 distinguished guests residing in mine and Werner’s lavish Paris home, a complete ensemble band was to perform and I had heard from someone’s sister whose husband heard from his cousin that the Fuhrer was supposedly to make an appearance.

*Can you just imagine it, Emmie? The Fuhrer himself at your wedding? It be the only thing anyone could talk about for years to come!* Werner’s sister Alicia was gabbing away and I was also aware of how much I hated her inane squawking. I also hate being called ‘Emmie’. My name is Emmure Derosier. As I have told Alicia a million times since my ‘awakening’. However, her being like most of these upper class swine, she didn’t take heed to my words. Just went along with wherever her train of thought was taking her. Unfortunately it was to the food that was to be served at the wedding. Werner and I had chosen on duck, whereas Alicia had prefered we served fish instead. I couldn’t wrap my mind around why she thought it was okay to go behind my back to her brother and cry about fish. He, of course, ended up agreeing, she was his only sister after all, and my duck was taken off the menu.

*I don’t like how you did that, Alicia. As I was last aware, this was my wedding and not yours.” Alicia looked at me like I had just insulted her attire.

*Emmure, there is no need to raise your voice. You are going to be thanking me in the future for this. Just you watch.* With that, she turned away from me and headed for her room, turning in for the night, leaving me to think evilly to myself, ‘You have no future.’

><><><><><

That night with Werner was a particularly bad one. He kept running his hands all over me, basically panting like a stray dog in heat, whispering in my ear how he can’t possibly wait until tomorrow night to have me. It took everything to relax and not stiffen in disgust at his touch. It took even more to pretend that I felt the same way, rubbing his erect penis over his sleep trousers, as he rubbed at my bored vagina. I reached my limit and excused myself to the restroom, grabbing my silk robe on the way out. Werner had kept my night shirt with him.

As soon as I exited the room, I felt like I was going to explode. I had to do something, anything, to keep from bursting. I found my way to the kitchen and tried to drink down several gulps of water. I kept thinking about one thing: rage. I grabbed the knife and was walking back towards my room before I even realized what I was doing. I had to kill him, I had to before I was married to him. Before I could get to the door, Alicia came around the corner and before she could open her mouth, I stabbed her in it. The knife went through the back of her throat like warm cheese. I tried to pull the knife out but the blade caught on her teeth. I turned the knife and sliced through cheek, giving her a grim and permanent half smile. The blood went everywhere, it splashed onto me and ran down her front like water from the faucet. Her eyes began to go pale as she gurgled what I assumed was my name. It was only after she hit the floor in a clumped, bloody mass did I notice the smile on my face and the utter joy in my chest. However, instead of running away like I should have, I stayed and enjoyed my work, not realizing that Werner was standing in the doorway of our room.