At midnight, Adebisi lay on her bed wide awake being tormented by her thoughts, or memories to be precise. Memories of darker times and fears of history repeating itself when given the chance. Some might consider this 'chance' a right or privilege, but to her it was a curse, a curse that threatened to free the demons within herself. That chance was the chance of freedom.
She prayed to the God of the heavens and the Earth, the most powerful, to make her foot steady upon his righteous path and to give her power to defeat the demons that possessed her soul.
A painful lump in her throat and hot silent tears brought Adebisi back from the hells of her mind, hells she created herself. Guilt kills she thought as she sniffed and begun to fall asleep.
Before sunrise, Adebisi got up and did her usual preparations for the day which included a very long prayer and a breathing exercise to calm her shaky self. When she was done, she wore a blue, African print dress and went out of the house barefoot into the forest.
The bliss of this.
She returned to her house an hour later, feeling happy and hungry. Her siblings were just finishing their breakfast as she entered, She greeted them and sat at the table. As her siblings spoke among themselves, she chewed on her sandwich slowly not listening to their conversation because her mind was preoccupied. When her father came to the dining room, she was too deep in thought to notice but his loud voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Say you good-byes now and go to school," He ordered her siblings.
"And Adebisi get ready, we will leave for the airport in thirty minutes."
"Okay Abi (father)." They all said in unison.
She could not believe she was leaving so soon, she looked at her siblings who smiled back at her and felt like crying. Tundé who was a year younger than her and was her partner in crime approached her first,
"Oh I'm gonna miss you! Oh my God what am I gonna do without you, I'm gonna die." He said dramatically. Everyone laughed,
"But seriously I am gonna miss you." He said seriously this time.
"Me too" Adebisi replied.
"Awwwwww!" He laughed.
"Saki it's going to be you and Sumi now." Adebisi said to her sister who was two years younger than her.
"Can I go to you room now, I'm tired of sharing with Sumi" she pleaded for the hundredth time since she heard Adebisi was leaving.
"No." Was her answer every time.
"Why though? You're not even gonna use it." She whined and Adebisi just ignored her.
"Can I have your room?" Sumi the baby of the house chirped and looked at Adebisi hopefully with her big eyes. At that, Adebisi smiled and said,
"I still live here, I'll be back so no one can have my room." Sumi pouted then went over to hug Adebisi good bye.
Luqman the wise, as they called him, acted serious as usual, like his father,
"Please don't fight with anyone and don't be rude, seriously Adi I know you." He warned. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was only fourteen, three years younger than Adebisi who's heart warmed at her beloved brother's advice,
"I won't." She said, he grunted knowing fully well that she was lying but hugged her anyway.
"Muha you big baby come here." Adebisi said to thirteen year old Muha who was a little short and fat but very kind and hard working, everyone knew Muha was the good boy. He grinned widely and said,
"I don't know what will happen when you go, I'll have no one to talk to, Tundé will keep disturbing me, Saki will start acting like she's the boss and be rude to everyone, Sumi will become naughty." He panicked.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine and if any of that happens just call me and I'll sort them out." She assured him,
"I'm gonna miss you!" He screamed and hugged Adebisi tight.
Adebisi watched them leave for school and nearly cried, she never payed attention to them, appreciated them, or treat them kindly always. She begun to regret her neglect, In America she would have no Tundé to cheer her up, no Luqman to share her worries, nor would she have Muha to talk to, Sumi to spoil, or Saki to fight with.
It made her wonder what other blessings she had and not appreciated and almost instantly, she made a long list. One, her parents and grandparents, the grand house she lived in , the beautiful land surrounding it, the servants who made her life easy, her beautiful clothes, the big cars...etc she came to the depressing conclusion that she has been wasting her life dwelling on her horrible past and hiding from reality in the darkness of her mind. For many years she was blind, she lived in her head instead of enjoying the world around her.
She went up to her room feeling bad and freshened up for the journey. The servants loaded her luggage into the car, immediately her and her parents were on their way. Everyone was quiet, Adebisi sat in the back trying to suppress her silent tears but she couldn't.
Silent tears hold the loudest pain. She thought as they streamed down her face.
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Adebisi hadn't even noticed that they had arrived at the airport until her father cleared his throat loudly pulling her back to reality. However he did not exit the car so Adebisi just waited, feeling tension rise. After a long time her father spoke,
"Don't disappoint me."
The word hit her like a hammer, her heart beat faster in panic. Her mother looked back at her and Adebisi faked a confident smile.
The family stepped out of the car, at the entrance, Adebisi's grandmother waved and ran to her.
"Mummy!" She yelled.
"Oh how are you darling?" Her grandmother embraced her tightly and cried.
"I'm fine thank you mummy, how are you?" Adebisi mumbled.
"I'm good, I'm good." She replied.
At the airport Adebisi checked in her luggage and looked at her watch, it read nine thirty so her flight was in thirty minutes. She said her good-byes to her parents, hugged her mother and side-hugged her father. She held her grandmother for long not wanting to let go.
"I'll miss you." Adebisi hiccuped.
"Don't worry my dear, everything will be fine." Her grandmother assured her.
Adebisi never understood that phrase, or what it was meant to make her feel.
Adebisi' s father gave her instructions on what to do and she was on her way, when she turned back the only person who still waved was her grandmother, they cried.
Adebisi was too crushed to do anything so she walked to a security guard and acted clue less , he guided her through every step until she was seated on her seat on the plane. The plane took off, Adebisi was completely oblivious and was drowning in sadness. Watching the clouds and blue sky with puffy red eyes, Adebisi wanted nothing but to go back.
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