Acetaminophen

Chapter One

We had been drinking all night. I'd never drank before, so I feel pretty hard. The feeling was horrible yet amazing. My mind was free to wonder but never seemed to come back when I needed it to. My brother was used to it, so he downed as many beers as his stomach could handle.

I couldn't believe that this was how people celebrated, but I gave into the peer pressure. We were celebrating our cousin, Daniel visiting us.

We hadn't seen him in years. He lost a lot of weight and grew a lot. He's only a year older than me, but he was over a foot taller than me. His face had matured a lot and he was looking pretty good. He refuse to drink, because of his sleeping pills he took.

We all kicked back, watched Adventure Time and chatted. Around 2 am, the beer was creeping up my throat. I ran to the kitchen and up chucked into our sink. That was my brothers sign it was time for bed.

I looked up to see my cousin, Daniel holding my hair. He slowly patted me on the back and reassured me that I was going to be okay. He handed me a glass of water and told me to drink up. I did as he told me.

Suddenly I felt really dizzy and light. Daniel instructed me over to the couch and told me to relax. I'd been obeying all of his orders so far, so why go back.

He handed me the glass of water and told me to finish it as he went to go get something. The water tasted funny. I mean, the tap water in our town tastes pretty weird, but not like this.

By now, everything was a blur. Daniel walked back into the room, but I couldn't just focus on one. I was seeing double, no triple of my cousin. My eyes had no choice but to slowly shut and I heard him unzip the bag. Before my brain went into autopilot, I realized that I had been drugged.

Chapter Two.

My eyes finally started to open and I saw something no one ever wants to see. Daniel was on top of me naked, and I was naked too. I tried to scream, but then I realized the duct tape over my mouth. My arms and legs were bound to the chair with duct tape as well.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I was powerless. There was literally nothing I could do but take it.

I was starting to wish my parents weren't out on holiday. I was starting to wish Daniel never came over. There went my virginity, pride and hope.

At that moment, I was hoping that he was going to kill me after the job was finished. I couldn't report him, I couldn't fight him or stop him. Maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with this shame.

He warned me that if I ever tell anyone, it would be my last words. He kissed me on the cheek and ripped the tap off of my limbs and mouth.

Sobbing and still naked, I walked downstairs. I slipped on a tee shirt, hopped on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

As a fell asleep, I relived that. Over and over again, my mind replayed the rape. Every time at the end of the dream, a dark voice said, "You deserved it. You made him do it."

Chapter Three.

A week had past. Daniel left the day of the incident. I was starting to hate everything. Every time I closed my eyes it replayed.

Even even worse, I was late on my period. As much as they sucked, I was praying to god that I would receive one. I couldn't be pregnant. I was only fourteen.

Not only am I reminded of it every time I closed my eyes, its going to start calling me mommy. Every time it cries, it will remind me how I couldn't cry for help. I couldn't have this baby and no one could know.

Another week pasted, still no period. I couldn't afford an abortion and no way could I go through with the pregnancy and give it up for adoption.

I was sick and tired of having to live with this. Not just the baby but the horrible nightmares. I hated and blamed myself for everything.

I ran upstairs to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of acetaminophen. My nervous fingers could barely open up the cap, but they managed. I dumped out the bottle and took fourteen tablets. I filled up a bottle of water and took them, one by one. After all fourteen tablets were ingested, I balled my eyes out.

Chapter Four.

This was it. I was going to die. I said one last prayer and closed my eyes. Suddenly, my brother walks in. He saw all the scatter pills and my tear stained face.

My life didn't flash before my eyes, nor was there an 80s montage of all the good moments I had in my life. I saw a flash of light. My brother was sobbing and screaming at me to wake up.

I sat up and immediately started vomiting. He held my hair back as they shoved a bowl underneath my face. The pain in my stomach was unbearable and he wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused.

He moved me off of the kitchen table to the couch. I thanked them for the help and went to sleep.

About a week past, and I lost the baby. I thought I would have been happy, but I wasn't. I sat up all night wondering what it might had looked like and sounded like. I wished that it could had happened differently, even though it still would have hurt either way.

I still have the nightmares, just not as often. If I do have nightmares, I've learned to control them.

If you are going to take anything out of this story, just remember that whatever you are going though, you are never alone and you can get through it. Whether you are having family problems, extremely bullied or have no where to go, someone has been there. Seek wisdom from people going through the same stuff as you, and I promise it will help. Thanks for reading.