Blink

When I stare into the mirror, I see myself, nervous about the day ahead, just like every other day. "Big smile!" I told myself. I gathered my things I needed for school and headed downstairs and retrieved my key off of the counter. "Bye Dad." I said while waving as I started for the door.

"Bye Mark, Have a good day at school. Drive safe." My father waved. I walked down the driveway to my car, unlocked it, and then climbed in. I put the key in the ignition and turned it. My car was struggling to start, like always. I just tried again. The engine roared awake, and I leaned back in my seat, resting my hands on the steering wheel, and took a deep breath. Moving my hand to the gear-shift, I checked my mirrors, pulled the gear-shift back, and reversed out of my driveway.

I arrived at school and pulled into my assigned parking spot. My friend Chloe met me at my door as I climbed out. "Hey C. How're you?" I began the conversation. Same routine, every morning, she'd meet me at my car, and we'd walk to class together.

"I'm doing great! You?"

"I'm okay. Nothing good, nothing bad."

"Well, that's good, I guess." She got our project out of my trunk while I got my bag and locked up my car. We had a project for first period that we had to work in pairs to do, so me and Chloe made it together. She insisted on carrying it, so the least I could do was carry her backpack for her. For a girl more on the slender side, she must be strong because her backpack is extremely heavy.

We were walking to class and she's going on about how excited she is that her and her boyfriend are going to homecoming together. I'm people watching. Looking for a particular someone. I didn't see them. We walked into class, early as always, a good 10 or so minutes before the first bell that tells you to start going to class. We turned in our project and then just sat in the silence of the room, listening to the ticking clock.

A few minutes after our arrival, one of my other friends, Cody, walked into class. He normally isn't early, but I guess he was earlier than normal today because of the project. Chloe shot him a disgusted look. They weren't the best of friends. Used to be, but they had this big falling out and now I just got put in the middle of it. Now it's just awkward for everyone because I don't want to pick a side but Chloe insults him to my face and I can't agree nor disagree with her because that'd be picking a side. All I can say is "Ok." or just maintain my silence. They don't even talk anymore.

The bells rang and students flooded the class. The teacher walked to the front of the class and began her lesson. It was Psychology. She talked about a lot of things dealing with the psychology of human beings, but just to sum it all up, she talked about how we underestimate and overestimate things, and how we can't see the big picture sometimes.

Other than the seemingly endless stares from Chloe to Cody, Psychology went by pretty fast. So did the rest of the day, really. Before I knew it, it was lunch. I sit with the same crowd everyday. The simple group of some misfits that fit in their own way. They all know of my sexuallity because Chloe outed me directly to all of them without realizing I hadn't told any of them. Now they all crack the occasional joke. A bit of friendly banter, I thought, What could go wrong with that?

All of these things just kept happening and I slowly sank through the levels of happiness, and it felt like my sanity was doing the same. I just needed a lifeline to pull me through all of this. I started to not want to go to school. I felt like it couldn't get any worse than it already was. I started to miss a few days, a day here and there, eventually an entire week. No one asked if I was ok when I missed a couple of days.

I showed up on the following monday after my week of absence, and Chloe was asking if I was ok, I didn't know what else to say so I just told her I was fine, just tired. She should know me well enough that I'm never fine. She proceeded to gush about how happy her and her boyfriend were, proceeded to put me in the middle of her and Cody's feud, and proceeded to crack the ever-growing jokes with the crowd at lunch.

It seems it has just gotten worse. What I thought was friendly banter was now escalating after they learned I was alright. I'm sure they don't mean to hurt me. I know they don't. They just don't know where the line was drawn, and crossed it. I couldn't take it. I got up from the table and just walked out of the cafeteria to my car. They just thought I had to get something from my car. It wasn't until they saw my get in my car and drive away that they began to worry. I drove home.

I walked into my front door and my parents were confused as to why I was home so early. My mother visibly angry, and my father appearing worried. I went up to my room and my mother followed. I closed my door but she slammed it open and started interrogating me about me being attracted to guys. She was unhappy.

"Mom! Calm down! It's not that big of-" I began. She cut me off.

"Stop. Just stop. You are not my son." She let the words linger. "You are not my son." She said it again to ensure the words burned into my head. She left the room on those terms.

Me being all teary-eyed and red-faced, I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys and rushed out the door, ignoring the words being thrown at me. I didn't know where else to go, so I just started going back to school. The final bell rang and everyone was leaving. Chloe and Cody walked home from school, they were at the crosswalk of the stoplight where it happened.

It all happened so fast. Like a rollercoaster. If you blinked, you missed it. I zoned out, my mind spiralling out of control from all the overwhelming thoughts being packed in too tight. I snapped back to reality and slammed on my brakes. This drew the attention of everyone. Shards of glass, chunks of metal, and other debris were flying through the air. All I saw was a blur.

The sheer and utter shock on everyone's face explained it all. This was bad. Car horns were going off. One guy climbed out of his car through the shattered window, a girl getting out of her door. Blood trickling down my cheek, a sharp pain in my left arm and side, my arm pinned. Smoke. The car was burning. I heard inaudible screaming from men and women alike. The screams that stuck out to me were those of Chloe and Cody. They banded together and pried open my car door to drag me out of the burning car. Shards of glass were embedded in my face and neck. My odds of surviving this were slim.

"The car's going to blow!" A man screamed. I felt the pavement moving under me, and someone pulling my injured arm. There was a burst of light and heat as the car exploded.

Flashing blue and red lights, cries of nearby people, the panic in their voices. These are all some of the last things I remember. The blur slowly began to fade away. I just couldn't keep my eyes open. My vision went from the occasional clear image, to nothing but blur, and faded away to nothingness.

A misunderstood friend. All someone had to do was ask me if he was okay, if they were making me upset, and this may have never happened. My mother's last words to me were ringing in my head. I drew my last breath, and I managed to squeeze out a few words to Chloe, who was clutching my hand.

"All in the blink of an eye..."