Revival

~*FOUR*~

If there was one thing I was sure of it was that I hated funerals. Funerals were for the living. It became this big event that had people gathering around talking about how great the person was in life. That wouldn't be me today. I would be that person in the back watching the scene unfold from afar.

I stood in front of the mirror dressed in white. Something else that I hated was wearing dresses. I wasn't like Freya who looked good in anything she managed to throw on. I was plain compared to her. I couldn't even manage to do something with my dark hair. It was either up in a messy bun or down without being brushed out.

I walked downstairs when I was finally ready. Aunt Alina was gathering a few things in the kitchen. One of the few things I recognized was sage. My mom used it when we moved into our old apartment. She said it always made her feel peaceful because it cleansed the air.

"What's all of this for?" I asked.

"Oh, we have a tradition when it comes to burying our dead." She said. "It's a way to keep the spirits safe. It's kind of like a ritual."

"Does this ritual take long?" I asked.

"We're going early to set up and the actual burial won't be until sundown."

I wasn't going to ask any more about it. As far as weird families went, mine won the gold medal. Everyone always acted strange around me and my mom was even going out of her way to try to keep me happy. If I complained about something she usually let me have my way. It was something she had never done before.

At school Freya was her usual bossy, stuck up, self. Cole didn't try to talk to me again which didn't bother me as much. Stella and I tried to keep out of their way at all costs. The last thing I needed was to be kicked out of school because of Freya and her friends.

There were boxes by the door and my mom was getting the things inside the car. I could hear glass rattling as I lifted the boxes to help her. It was heavy and I wondered what she had in the boxes.

"Aunt Alina told me about the ritual." I told her as we stacked the boxes. "Does everyone do it when someone dies?"

"Alina told you about that?" Mom looked annoyed.

"Yeah, is it some kind of family tradition or something?"

She looked hesitant on answering my question. She did that a lot too. Every time I asked her something related to the family she would pause to think about how she would answer my questions. Sometimes she would word things in a way that just ended up confusing me.

"Only for a few people. Mostly for friends and family that have always been around."

"Why all the weird plants and boxes? What's in here anyway?"

"They are herbs and candles. It's this weird tradition. My grandmother said that it helped the spirits cross into somewhere safe. She used to say that if we ever wanted to talk to our ancestors they would be in that safe place."

"Wow," I said, "so much I still don't know about our family."

"If this is too much, Blaire, I'm ok with you skipping out and just staying here." She said. "You didn't know my mother and that was my fault."

"I want to go." I admitted.

"But if you don't-"

"Mom, I want to be there." I insisted.

My relationship with my mom was rocky lately. Even if I didn't know my grandmother I wanted to be there. It didn't feel right not going. She deserved at least that much from me. I had to admit that it did upset me not growing up having a relationship with her.